#enl3analyses

[yourandy96]

Analysis Review

C2: Looking at my Analysis 1, where I compare and contrast the different aspects of Caliban and Prospero in The Tempest, I feel that I present many ideas but I do not exactly support them with any concrete evidence. Especially with the quote I provide, it does not seem to support my assumptions as much.  

Excerpt: “Both Prospero and Caliban fail to see the vices within themselves due to the fact that they are too busy in accusing the other of not being virtuous”  

Revision: Prospero accuses Caliban of being a monster as we see in the initial moments in which Caliban is introduced, however Caliban does the exact same to Prospero. Essentially, they both consume themselves in this process of accusations which ultimately hinders their ability to change for the better and grow as individuals.

J1: Also in my Analysis 2, where I analyze the Wolf in the Wolf’s Postscript. Although my position was quite interesting, however it seems that my argument is too opinion based which forces the reader to view the Wolf in my perspective only. I do not allow the reader to develop their own thoughts through my analysis.

Excerpt:  The irony is the fact that the Wolf hopes to use death as a way to teach children what not to do

Revision: The Wolf tries to teach children a lesson through his death, essentially becoming a martyr for a much greater cause. Although the Wolf finds his actions justified, which some argue to be quite reasonable, however the Wolf seems to miss a much bigger picture and that is he is now exposing children to death. Granted the Wolf may call it to be necessary, however death can be very impactful to a child and such an impact cannot be guaranteed positive.

[batthemlasheslovelymanda-blog]

Analysis Review

C1: Idea not yet grounded in evidence (analysis2)

excerpt: The creature thinks that if he was made by the hand of God instead of Victor he would not be "deprived of the delights" that come from being human. The evidence that there is a God is the clear isolation he feels from humans.

Revision: The differences in experience that the monster has in comparison to the other characters shows the differences in their "Gods", while being a creation of Victor brings him isolation, the other characters are not isolated in the extreme way the creature is. 

G1: generalization (analysis 1)

excerpt: He chooses revenge with the murder of the young boy to show he is not weak and does not need to take the rejection of humanity and his creator that he labels as his enemy.

Revision: The creature in his anger abandons his restraint to try and be accepted by humanity and attacks the boy to hurt Victor.

[annjanlee-blog]

Analysis Review

C3 – Confusing idea, whetherdue to syntax, logic, or underdevelopment.

Excerpt – “As there exists no information regarding what actually happened, audience members can see that Caliban can be good-natured as well and Prospero even cruel too.”

Revision – Because Shakespeare does not offer any information about what happened between Prospero and Caliban in the past, audiences cannot simply assume Caliban as a monster because of his apparent hostility and Prospero as more human because of his apparent righteousness. Rather, audiences should see past their judgments on what Shakespeare or the characters make of each other, and that Caliban could be good-natured and Prospero cruel even.

Y2 – Quotations that have potential but aren’t yet analyzed.

Excerpt – “Prospero refers to Caliban as a “slave, whom stripes may move” and recalls how he “lodged” Caliban, giving him “human care” (Act I, Scene II). The way Prospero associates Caliban with whips and the care he provided Caliban implies how Prospero views him as an inferior monster, but also how readers can also perceive him to be animalistic.”

Revision – Prospero, at one point, recalls the “human care” that he provided Caliban, his “slave, whom stripes may move.” Prospero’s treatment of Caliban as a slave indicates his superiority, but his reference to the word “human” suggests that he perceives Caliban as something non-human, what audiences might also consider monster-like, which implies that Caliban’s character really amounts from what others think about him.

[kuljinderkaur-blog-blog]

Analysis Review

J1 :Victor is a monster not only because he is irresponsible, but also because he is unable to give love to his creation. 

Revision: While Victor labels the creature as a monster because he thinks the creature is incapable of feeling empathy and love, Victor himself can be described as being a monster. Victor is more like a monster, because he being the parent of the creature is unable to feel any sympathy or love for the monster. 

I made this revision, because at first I was  claiming Victor is a monster without giving any definition of monster. Now, I describe him as a monster according to what he thinks a monster is.

C2: Ferdinand  believes that fate will balance the good and the bad. Prospero also believes in balance. 

Revision:    Ferdinand actually believes that fate will turn bad into good, so he has confidence in fate.  Prospero also has confidence and belief in balance, but his confidence has to do with his control over fate. 

I made this revision, so that I can go more in depth with the implications I made or make an analysis. Before, I don't make any connections. I just jump to other examples without fully explaining the implications.

Y3: This task is considered lowly, because it requires hard work. Prospero on purpose assigns his servant’s job to Ferdinand.

Revision: Prospero on purpose assigns his servant's "lowly job" to Ferdinand in order to test his love for Miranda.

At first the sentences seemed out of place, but now I connected them and thus made them more clear. 

[erinannelore-blog]

Analysis Review

Text: Analysis 2 Focus: Determining the difference between judgement (on my part) and fact, and writing the essay in such a way that focuses more on the text than personal biases against the characters Area 1: During this essay, I suggested that perhaps both Prospero and Antonio had character flaws that had affected their judgement, and that they were therefore unfit to be royal leaders.  “Given Prospero’s neglect and the selfishness of his brother’s actions, it can be argued that the actions of both make fit and unfit royalty.”  However, this could have been rephrased in such a way that more clearly reflected ideas drawn from observations rather than personal biases.  For instance, “Given Prospero’s neglect and the self-involved choices of his brother, it can be determined that the actions of both characters seem more self-directed than directed towards serving the people whom they wish to obtain power over.”  While this is a judgement on the nature of both characters, it would be supported by texts stated earlier in the essay, and is (although it sounds negative) a neutral judgement rather than one based on personal biases.  This addresses section C of the Pitfalls chart, which refers to the analysis’s relativity to the text. Area 2: I also made the mistake of judging the character Gonzalo as a purely good character while failing to consider any other argument to the contrary.  Moreover, I called him a ‘wise’ chancellor without having actually backed it up by text.  This was because I was basically judging Gonzalo’s character off of his description on Sparknotes. “The division between rightful power and granted power is further drawn through the character of Gonzalo, the wise chancellor.”  Rather than judging Gonzalo as the ‘good guy’ of the play, I should have looked deeper into his nature and used more contextual descriptions of his character. “The division between deserved power and granted power is further drawn through the character of Gonzalo, who cares for those characters whom he has no reason to believe can serve him in return,” might work better in this case.  The statement that, “[Gonzalo] cares for those characters whom he has no reason to believe can serve him in return,” can at least be backed up with textual evidence. Area 3: My final paragraph highlighted a third area of the Pitfall chart: transitions.  The transition into the last paragraph is extremely abrupt and awkward.  I’ve never been much good at conclusory paragraphs, so I just kinda stuck this one in here.  The first sentence of that paragraph goes, “Through the characters of this play, Shakespeare illustrates nobility pursuing power, and the binary which is thereby implied: selfish ruling and servitude.” This could have flowed better had it begun with something other than, “Through the characters of this play (...),” which doesn’t have much to do with the rest of the essay.  I would re-write this line as, “As a whole, this play’s characters each play specific roles in analyzing the traits and motives of royal figures.” This line leads more into a summary of the essay - how I’d meant to write the ending paragraph - rather than awkwardly rephrasing the thesis.

[myartisticbathtub-blog]

Analysis Review

Target Area: (analysis 1) C1: Idea not yet grounded in evidence or analysis Original Excerpt: Ali allows readers to relate to the wolf to the point that they can empathize with him, even making it seem as though it is Little Red’s fault for her misfortune because she chooses to speak with him. The key word “mustn’t” implies that Little Red’s choice to speak with him was not a sound decision on her part, especially knowing that it is not something she should do. Revision: Using the key word, “mustn’t,” the Wolf implies that Little Red’s misfortune occurred because of her decision to speak with him because he believes that, for her sake, she should not have talked to anyone she does not know. Reflection: My intention was on bridging the two sentences (one which is has an idea and the other which contains the evidence). I think my revision gets rid of the loophole of me making the assumption that she knows what a “stranger” is and the blame she gets for possibly not knowing that she shouldn’t talk to strangers.

Target Area: (analysis 3) J1: Positions expressed independent of analysis, such as moral, ethical, or artistic positions or personal opinions Original Excerpt: Although the quality may not be as good, open-access journals do provide a large quantity for those who are willing to sift through to find priceless information. In my opinion, knowledge is not something to be withheld, and if there’s anything that’s beneficial to the community, it should be freely open to those who seek it. Revision: Although the quality may not be as good, open-access journals provide a large quantity of knowledge for those are willing to seek it. They don’t allow for the withholding of information which is something that many people may agree is a right because they may believe that universal knowledge is beneficial to the community. Reflection: By getting rid of “in my opinion,” and instead saying how “many [other] people may agree,” my position is still there without making it a personal opinion based on my morals.

Target Area: (analysis 4) A2: Claim, speculation, or interpretation presented as a fact or rule Original Excerpt: This means that the white Americans’ lack of desire to recognize the struggles of blacks ironically further inhibits their ability to form solutions to the increasingly dire circumstances within their own country, and encourages readers to consider the idea that in order to grow as a nation, there must be a push for the social, economic, and political advancement of minorities. Revision: Perhaps this suggests that the white Americans’ lack of awareness of the struggles of black Americans ironically further inhibits their ability to form solutions to the circumstances within their own country, and may thus encourages readers to consider the idea that in order to grow as a nation, there must be a push for the social, economic, and political advancement of minorities. Reflection: Even though we followed a template for this analysis, I think that by putting “perhaps this suggests” in the beginning turns the analysis into less of a fact, and more into an implied opinion. Also, it wasn’t really the white Americans’ “lack of desire to recognize” the blacks’ struggles but rather their “lack of awareness” due to the fact that there are so many things to focus on to maintain a country that that’s the reason the minorities may never have gotten much attention.

[davidxma-blog]

Analysis Review

CC1: Idea not yet grounded in evidence or analysis

Original: The quote, “I did it for posterity, for kindergarten teachers and a clear moral: Little girls shouldn’t wander off” (stanza I, 2-5), brings a whole new perspective to the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Instead of being the “big bad wolf”, the wolf presents himself as a storyteller teaching a lesson that the little red riding hood should have obeyed her parents rather than talking to strangers. 

Revision: The quote, “I did it for posterity, for kindergarten teachers and a clear moral: Little girls shouldn’t wander off” (stanza I, 2-5), brings a whole new perspective to the story of Little Red Riding Hood. The word choice by the wolf, "posterity", "teachers" and "moral", all can be categorized under a common theme: education, which can be attributed to the drive underlying his actions.

Reflection: My second sentence in the original was essentially a summary of the text, without really drawing from the quote I wrote specifically. For my revision, I tried to single out certain words from the quote itself to explain the wolf's actions instead of just summarizing what the quote means. 

A2: Claim, speculation, or interpretation presented as a fact or rule.

Original:  He recognizes the “racial experiment” proposed to him but the fact that he smiled when thinking about the being a savior to his country, even in such dire and serious situation, means that the President, above all, is fixated on having the fame and being responsible for turning his country around financially with racial issues taking a secondary role. 

Revision: He recognizes the "racial experiment" proposed to him, but even in such a dire and serious situation, the President still smiled when the Vice President mentioned the idea of his term being dubbed "America's Golden Age". Whereas Bell did not indicate any emotion of relief about the racial issue, this small showing of emotion shows at the idea of his success represents another perspective on the trade: that the President could be more focused on his own success and fame rather than racial issues.

Reflection: In my original, I immediately made an assumption that just because he smiled, the would mean he was "fixated" on another motive, which may or may not be true. However, I presented it as a fact. In my revision, I provided extra evidence to reason my analysis and chose words to make this analysis less of an either/or, but more of an "and". 

[melissaashleybrooks]

Analyses Revision

Target Area: Judgment Quote: "..in dignity, and for the liberal art Without a parallel. Those being all my study, The government I cast upon my brother And to my state grew stranger, being transported And rapt in secret studies (i,II,91-95)"

Original Text: Prospero is not in the wrong to say these things, but he talks about himself as a good person, one who does things out of love, and one who for the bettering of himself gave himself solitude to gain knowledge and practice his magic. All of the things he talks about he centers around himself. He seemed self-centered and entitled through the words that he used to talk about himself and other people.

Revision: Prospero “casts” the government onto his brother, reinforcing the idea that his studies were his primary focus. Thus, the excerpt implies that Prospero, whose sole focus was on his own studies, is selfish in nature because he puts his duty as a leader second to enriching himself.

Reflection: Still wondering if it is ok to use “selfish” even if the text shows him in that light at some points.

Target Area:  C2 Idea without evidence

Quote: "And I loved thee, And showed thee all the qualities o’th’ise…. For I am all the subjects you have, Which first was mine own king; and here you sty me..(I,ii,400-410)"

Original Text:  Caliban refers to him as “mine own king”- for once he can be viewed as something more than a monster. One who lived on his own and grew to know the island very well- where to find food, water,shelter, etc. It shows how knowledgeable Caliban is- something usually not associated with a monster.

Revision:  Caliban says “I loved thee” and shows Prospero “all the qualities o’th’ise” which shows that Caliban is capable of human qualities, as represented in the text, as being one that is capable of love. For example, Prospero shows love towards Miranda, and Miranda and Ferdinand show love for each other.