Poetry is easy; it's the parent-teacher conferences that are hard.
Perceiving Functional Axis: Si/Ne
Alicia is nothing if not dutiful: she gives up her successful law career to take care of her children; she stands by Peter through his scandal; after he goes to prison, she immediately gets a job to support her family. As a lawyer, Alicia is careful and meticulous. She focuses on observable details, highly skilled at catching even the smallest of inconsistencies — like the plastic bag that blows across the parking lot every night. As a wife in Highland Park, Alicia had a set routine every day that she rarely diverged from. And as a lawyer, she looks for that same routine, normality, and constancy in her turbulent life. It’s why when Will asks her to leave her husband, she says to him, “Give me a plan.”
Judging Functional Axis: Fe/Ti
Warm, empathetic, and understanding, the partners at Lockhart and Gardner often pull Alicia into their meetings to comfort their clients and emotionally relate to them. Eli, too, often wields her as a weapon in Peter’s campaign, because Alicia is skilled at transforming herself into what the people want her to be. She is the wronged wife, the hardworking mother — she’s St. Alicia. As a result, she is more likeable than Peter — and every other candidate in Cook County. As she grows, Alicia learns to use her abilities for herself, and leverage situations to her benefit (she steals clients from her firm; she uses Will’s memories of their affair against him in court; she uses her marriage as a political weapon). She is exceptional at leaving her feelings out of her decision-making when she needs to, focusing on the facts instead, and working strategically to get what she wants.
Excerpted from ”The Dynamic Enneagram” by Tom Condon
Copyright 2009, 2013 by Thomas Condon
Self Preservation Ones
• Talented at getting things done and attending to practical detail.
• Ultra-reliable; do what they say they will on time.
• Tend towards worry and negative anticipation about material well being.
• Can worry about money; “penny-wise and pound- foolish.”
• A petty, finicky quality; may magnify small tasks into large problems.
• Prone to a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
• Distorted sense of responsibility; feel like they have to make the sun come up in the morning.
• Can seem like anxious Sixes but they lack a Six’s underlying core of helpless fear.Ones don’t doubt their capacity to take action.
• Could believe that everything has to be just right to avert disaster.
• May have a sense of being undeserving or inadequate; compensate with worry.
• If something goes wrong it will painfully confirm their lack of worth.
Intimate Ones
• Able to bring out the best in people.
• Personable, with good social skills.
• Motivated by a desire to improve for a mate.
• Can feel like relationships are exercises in mutual improvement.
• More vain, especially with a Two wing; aware of how they look.
• Idealize their beloved and have high expectations in close relationships.
• Grow up in atmospheres of criticism and high standards.
• Sensitive to the possibility of being rejected by intimates.
• If a beloved is even slightly critical the One hears the criticism as though through a megaphone.
• Distinct capacity for possessive jealousy.
• May have conflicts around sexuality; might feel inhibited and yet be attracted to wild sin.
Social Ones
• Genuinely self-sacrificing, can work tirelessly for the good of others and enjoy putting their ideals into action.
• Forgive the world for being flawed but still try to improve it.
• Believe they are representatives of a larger social order or tradition.
• Preoccupied with rules and how they apply to (other) people’s behavior.
• Can apply the same rigid standards to each new situation; unconsciously ask themselves, “What is the rule?” rather than “What is necessary or sensible?”
• Can become preachy, won’t change their mind and won’t change the subject.
• Escape themselves by focusing on things that are essentially none of their business i.e. What others are doing wrong, issues of public morality.
• Especially prone to black and white thinking; can cling to wrong-headed certainty to avoid the unknown.
• Can be hypocritical; “Do as I say not as I do.”
• May resist modernity and fail “on principle” to adapt to new trends or realities.
• Consider being rigid, inflexible and closed a virtue, proof that they are living by an infallible moral or religious code.
• Can value structures, systems, and rules; can be impersonal and dictatorial in positions of power.
• Most schools of religious and political fundamentalism are ruled by Social Oneness.
One with a Nine Wing
• Brings Ones a tolerant, receptive, mellow quality.
• Objective and balanced; moderate in their evaluations.
• Good at making difficult or unpopular decisions based solely on the facts.
• A cooler quality to the emotions; Ones with a Two wing burn hotter.
• A dryness of spirit, tending towards emotional constriction.
• Modest and unpretentious in their personal demeanor.
• Often appear a little colorless, prefer functional clothing that is possibly drab.
• Practicality is highly valued, nothing is ostentatious.
• Have an aura of Nine-like calm although eruptions of temper are possible.
• They tend to be slow burns, get angry gradually.
• Have a detached quality and can be mistaken for Fives.
• Austere, resistant to modernism. Think of the Luddites or Amish.
• Can take stubborn inflexible positions that are pointless or malformed.
• May have perfectionistic expectations that are not humanly possible to meet.
• They can hold simplistic opinions that are superficially logical but ultimately heartless.
One with a Two Wing
• This wing brings more interpersonal warmth and awareness of emotions.
• Generally more passionate and intense.
• More interpersonal; temper their high standards with humanistic sympathy.
• Able to empathize with the motives underneath behavior rather than simply judging surfaces.
• Sacrifice time and energy for good works that help people.
• May elect themselves to play parental or big sister/big brother supervisory roles towards others.
• Can be bossy, self-righteous, severe and eruptive; could give scolding lectures or display a touchy emotionalism.
• Hot shots; can be haughty or even overtly arrogant; may overrate themselves
• Hypocrisy and moral vanity are more likely.
• Convinced their motives are pure their pride can override their principles.
• Overlook or rationalize the inevitable inconsistencies in their own behavior.
• Can have more trouble admitting mistakes due to Twoish pride.
• “Do as I say, not as Ido” attitudes are possible.
• Can also be dependent in relationships.
One’s Connection to Seven
• This connection brings Ones qualities like playfulness, flexibility and good cheer.• Helps them loosen the rules, enjoy life and see what’s going right.
• They embrace paradox and see multiple options and choices.
• Sensuality can emerge along with an improved sense of humor.
• May have more of a positive motivation strategy, motivating themselves through a system of rewards. Use carrots rather than the stick of judgment.
• Focus on the inherent opportunities in new situations; More likely to ask, “What do I want?” or “How can I make the most of this?”
• This connection also brings Ones an exploratory sense of adventure and a wide range of interests.
• May fight their Sevenish feelings, especially their “illicit” impulses; squelch them in the service of being good.
• See their own Sevenish qualities in others; indict the others for being libertine and irresponsible.
• Tendencies to addiction; can live secret lives or episodically escape, breaking completely free of the rules to have illicit adventures.
• Can be narcissistic, hypocritical and undependable.
• Slippery about facing the consequences of their actions.
• May start things they don’t finish.
• Might demand good behavior from others and blame them for failings the One shares.
• Can be more intellectual, theoretical and scatterbrained.
One’s Connection to Four
• Their Four streak gets them into their feelings and inner life.
• They discover how they really feel in contrast to how they “should” feel.
• The connection enhances a One’s creative, artistic imagination.
• They are attracted to art and nature, the aesthetic and the spiritual.
• Ones are prone to melancholy, it is a portal feeling; they pass through it on their way to other feelings.
• Dissatisfied with reality; could feel sadly alone in a world that doesn’t appreciate their efforts to reform it, surrounded by incompetents.
• May compare the present with a romanticized version of the past.
• Can be self-pitying like an unhealthy Four, bemoaning their lot in life and implicitly asking others to support or rescue them.
• Could yearn to live in a finer, more ideal world, a quality of wistful nostalgia.
• Have sentimental streaks and can occasionally be maudlin.
• Can idealize their parents and romanticize their early family life in a way that blinds them to the family’s darker undertones and less healthy patterns.
• Can over-react emotionally; may tend towards morose depression.
• Self-critical and depressive; they can harbor an inner sense of defect; turn their high standards against themselves.
• They may remorsefully vow to suppress their flaws, which then sets up the next episode of “bad” behavior.
• A few are morbidly interested in death and disease.
• A self-indulgent Fourish sense of being exempt from normal consequence.
• May project and then indicating their own sensitivities in others.
• Can become anti-subjective and anti-intuitive to defensively protect the primacy of reason.
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Ones want everything in their life to be orderly and correct. Their need for perfection puts them in an active state, as they strive to achieve perfection and try to make everything in their life “the way it should be”. Unfortunately, Ones have probably the most unachievable goal of all types as having zero issues in every field of your life is quite impossible. This unfortunate desire makes Ones unaccepting of the world around them. As their health level drops things become more difficult for them, and for the people around them.
An average One is unhappy with the truth and they think that it’s their duty to control or change the way things work. They strive for perfection in their personality, and as this need grows, they become more and more detail-oriented, uptight, systematic and meticulous. They correct the people around them and try to force them to fit into their own high standards. They constantly criticize people, and they criticize themselves in their own head even more. Therefore they take their own feelings and instincts under control, believing that showing these is “wrong”. This makes them frustrated towards others because they are doing everything they can to be their best self and achieve perfection whereas some people aren’t even trying. Their repressed emotions turn into anger, but Ones don’t think of themselves as an angry person, they think that they are just trying to make everything better. Their anger is because of their dissatisfaction of how they are and how the truth is. Nothing is ever good enough for them, they start seeing everything around them as mistakes which should be corrected. They can’t take criticism because they already justified their own actions in their heads.
Unhealthy Ones think that they have the right to punish people who are “wrong” because that’s how everything can made be “right”. While they appear cold-hearted, they are also dissatisfied with themselves. They scrutiny themselves and see every little “wrong” thing they ever did. In their minds, they will never be good enough which makes them think that they should punish themselves too. Nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts are possible.
I’m an INTJ 1w2 sp/so. I’ve read tons of shit about how being an sx blind is basically being a monstruous, incapable-of-loving, horrible being that will manipulate you 24/7 and can’t tell if they like you more than a stranger because we treat everyone with the same social charming yet apathetic cues. And hey, you people aren’t that far from the truth, but let me explain it to you.
Here’s some of my personal reflections:
It’s not the same to be an e1 sx blind than a e3 sx blind or a e4 sx blind. Your main type and the types concerning your tritype can make you more manipulative or more empathetic, and the list of synonyms go on. As a 135, I try to behave ethically and push me to empathize despite having a very calculating, cold and manipulative 3 in my tritype. That is, despite having my vices, I want to improve and connect, although these two natures clash.
Yes, I feel disconnected from people. Sometimes I cannot feel for anyone, product of too much emotional rationalization. Until I channelize every motivation of my core type, enneatype 1, and its very socially concerned wing, e2. After all, we are all in this together.
Despite feeling disconnected from people, I am always thinking about ways to improve society. My secondary so drives me to pursue this kind of ideas. I am an education and ethics enthusiast and I will always strive for the better in those mass-oriented concerns.
I will not manipulate you 24/7. Chances are, if I manipulate people, I do it in very specific situations that require social strategy (many sp/so are social climbers). I want to achieve my goals, and manipulation, although it gets in trouble with e1′s ethical structure a lot, is a means to an end. I’m a strategist, not Mother Theresa.
Manipulation is often directed to high-in-the-hierarchy people, not friends nor family.
I can love, as any other human being. I can love with fervor, I know I am capable of giving my heart out. It’s just I prefer to wait. I’m a career-first kind of person, to a point I may consider repressing every single love-related emotion to achieve my goals in a pragmatic way. I prefer to thoroughly analyze potential candidates, and see if it would be a benefitial relationship for both parts.
Deep inside, we need that hug, those warm encouraging words, a loving significant other, etc. But we won’t actively admit it (what I said before is a lie).
Yes, I may treat people with social charm but still doing it while being too distant. I tend to have a business kind of approach, although, again, w2 tries really hard to connect. That doesn’t mean we dislike you or anything, it’s just we lack other people’s passion to connect deeply. Tell a lemon to be a watermelon. A nurse to be a CEO. See?
Personally, I make some exceptions when treating certain people. I display affection by acts of service (classic INTJ) and sometimes verbally, but I very well distinguish in emotional depth between colleagues/classmates/strangers and friends/family, etc. I’m not that emotionally stupid.
About not caring about anyone... Mmh. It is true, but not 100% true. Again, I’m not a 5 or a 3- I’m a 1 and being that apathetic would be unethical. But yes, I have to agree that my capability of caring for people is... Not the best. Unless we are really close, or you connect somehow with my concerns as a 1 (to help the least fortunate, for example).
I have been told I look empty. We sx blinds tame the fire, but we can be very passionate people (are you laughing? I know...). Speak to me about music and you’ll see my eyes spark. It’s just, on a daily basis, we are neutral, we aren’t willing to navigate the dangerous seas of passion, because we can lose many things if we do. Like... Sanity. Success. You know, important stuff.
We can look robotic, psychopathic, whatever the shit you like to believe. We are systematic, mechanical, yes; but psychopathic? Really? An sx blind can be diagnosed with ASPD, but we aren’t all inherently psychopaths.
Personally, I am not that proud of being sx blind. Why? Because even though I’m highly aware of its advantages, I dislike not connecting with people nor giving any clues of internal experience. It actually interferes with things I love, like music, where I’ve been told I don’t express anything, and that by being so perfectionistic (e1), I spoil music’s ability to connect emotionally with people.
Yes, I am terribly awkward at maintaining relationships. I reiterate, as a 1w2, I strive to connect somehow. Important: It’s not that I don’t want to connect, it’s just I am aware of the fact that today’s modern times have spontainety as its motor; as well as the fact that as an e1 I am very critical of people and read them in such a way I become suspicious of their motives.
To end this with something postive:
We can be great advocates. Leaders. Educators.
We are relentless. You’ll see us at the very top, just give us some time.
Our cognitive empathy won’t give you any shit- instead, we’ll try to solve your problems. Or at least, listen to you without self-reflecting that much, sx-style.
We can lead great social networks, and serve as a pillar of rooted wisdom.
Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working.
Judging Functional Axis: Te/Fi
All of the Roses want to get out of Schitt’s Creek, but John’s the only one who actually works toward it. As soon as he gets to Schitt’s Creek, he sets his plan in motion: he tries to find a buyer. He is logical and blunt in his assessment of the facts (Roland is useless; the town sign is disturbing.) John, above all, is a doer. He tries to get the door fixed, the drip repaired; he sits in Bob’s Garage trying to come up with a business idea; he takes charge of the motel and makes changes to make it more commercial. Out of all of the Roses, he is the only one who actually knows how the world works (he tells David to get a job if he wants the face cream from France.) He shoulders all the responsibility of the family and never complains once. When Moira leaves, he ignores all his emotions and pours all his energy into the motel to make himself feel better.
Perceiving Functional Axis: Si/Ne
Nobody can have a single conversation with John without him bringing up his old business. His business acumen is completely experience-based. He constantly references how he did things at Rose Video and tries to apply those same principles in the present. He’s stable and reliable, a pillar of support. John greatly values his family. He is especially cognizant of how he took his family for granted and is cautious about not repeating those mistakes again. He approaches business decisions practically, always committed to everything he does. John has no problem seeing the potential in an idea but still remains rooted in the reality of what it actually is. He comes up with the idea of a bagel business on the fly, but knows it won’t work; he sees Rosebud Motel for what it is but envisions what it could be, expanding the chain to fulfill its potential.
I’m planning to start a channel on YouTube, uploading videos to talk and discuss about MBTI, Enneagram, being an INTJ female in Argentina and enneatype 1, etc. Would anyone be interested in it?
