#entjxistp

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D (ISTP) and M (ENTJ) are on FaceTime.

D: Anyway, who should hang up first? You or me?

M: Eh, you're the man of the relationship. Do hard things.

D: Hard things? Why would you think hanging up on you is hard?

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Phone Call from the Party Squad

D (ISTP) and M (ENTJ) are hanging out at M's apartment on the couch when D gets a phone call from their mutual ENFJ friend.

D: Hello?

ENFJ: *garbled noise*

D: I...can't hear you.

D: *pulls the phone away from his ear quickly* *looks at M with a serious expression*

D: I have a really bad feeling about this. Why would the ENFJ be calling???

M: *shrugs*

D: *puts the phone on speaker*

D: Hello???

ENFJ: *more garbled noise, sounding like a party*

ESFP mutual friend: *garbled conversation*

ENFP mutual friend: *garbled conversation*

M: What...ARE they doing?

D: Probably...sounds like they're gathered to watch [a football game].

M: IS THAT ESFP???

ESFP mutual friend: HEYYY, M!

M: Is that ENFP???

ENFP mutual friend: M!!!

ENFJ, in the background through the phone: Wait, which channel is it on?!

ENFP mutual friend: CAN WE LISTEN TO THE GAME THROUGH THE RADIO???

D: *facepalms*

D: All right, I'm hanging up, guys. Have fun?

ENFJ, ENFP, ESFP: *no response, just more garbled noise*

D: *facepalms again*

M: *cracking up*

D: Okay, bye.

D: *hangs up*

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Thinker Sarcasm

M and D, and an ISFP x ESTJ couple, are drinking boba tea together.

D: I'm so sorry for my sarcasm. It's a really bad habit, and I need to stop. I'm trying to stop. Sort of. Trying.

M: Hey, don't worry! You're fine! Has he said anything offensive?

ISFP: No, it's okay!

ESTJ, at the same time: Every. single. word.

ISFP: *frantically covers ESTJ's mouth*

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Hot pot :)

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ENTJxISTP relationship

ISTP: flirts by letting ENTJ win in verbal banter

ENTJ: flirts by brutally attempting to roast ISTP

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Knives

M (ENTJ): Btdubs

M: This is totally unrelated

M: but I got a, like, $150+ chef's knife for Christmas.

M: I AM VERY EXCITED.

M: IT'S SO SHARP

M: AND IT CUTS THROUGH CARROTS LIKE BUTTER

M: I'm super happy haha

ISTP: lol 'grats

ISTP: though...

ISTP: I just stare menacingly at food

ISTP: and it cuts itself

ISTP: XP

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D (ISTP): My family brought B (our cat) inside since it's so cold outside. I think K (our dog) is depressed at the lack of attention.

M (ENTJ): HAHA, poor K. XP My offer still stands; you can ship her to me, and I will heap love on her.

D: Hehe, but then WE'D be depressed. XP

M: This is an unhealthy relationship no matter how you look at it. Just give her to me. I promise it'll be better for you. XP

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M's ISTP friend had been feeling under the weather recently.

M: Are you feeling better health-wise?

ISTP: Yeah, better in some ways. Worse in others, though.

M: That doesn't bode well... You good?

ISTP: Yeah, nothing too bad. Felt really out of it at worked, surprised I didn't pass out.

M: YOU WERE WORKING? That sucks so much ugh. Sorry...

ISTP: lol you make it sound so terrible.

M, to self: Right, right, feeling like you're gonna pass out doesn't sound too bad at all, DUHHH.