#epic!odysseus

[sysiheart]

Odysseus playing a guitar ANGRILY at his wife

Penelope playing a violin EVEN MORE ANGRILY at her husband

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Yea so Ody is finally home and he’s with his wife and son. It’s all cool and fun. But hold on. Can you imagine how HORRIFYING Odysseus and his family must be to other Royals now?

Here is a king that fought monsters, witches, slaughtered most of the male Nobles in his kingdom. FOUGHT POSEIDON AND MADE HIM BEG FOR MERCY!

And worst of all, he is crazy smart. So negotiating or trying to make deals with Odysseus must be the most horrifying thing in existence at the time. You can’t threaten him, you can’t negotiate a better position than him, you can only just sit there and smile as you pray you don’t accidentally offend him.

Oh and that’s not all, If Penelope also dislikes you, you’re f***ed. Because Odysseus fought a war for 10 years over an oath. Imagine what he would do if someone tried something with his wife… OH WAIT, we don’t have to. He SLAUGHTERED them! And she might not even need him to.

She is from Sparta and by Odysseus own words JUST AS SMART AS HIM. The main reason she didn’t go out and fight those nobles/kick them out is because of the laws of hospitality (which are enforced by Zeus). But with her god piercer husband, she doesn’t need to be so polite anymore. And she held the kingdom together for 20 years! She knows how to handle business. So yea, don’t mess with her either.

And his kid? He’s a warrior of the mind now! Who has the favor of ATHENA! WHO in a very short time learned how to fight. Going from losing a fist fight, to fighting dozens of men who only overwhelmed him because he got TIRED of kicking their asses! He has ATHENA on his side as his best friend. Dont even try

Point is The Ithaca royal family is a f***ing nightmare to deal with now.

[sunnidawn]

Drooly ahh new born but they still love him

[sprnklersplashes]

after browsing some comments, I think a funnier turn the ithaca saga could've taken is the suitors beat the living shit out of telemachus and then drown him in the ocean, and when they're taunting odysseus about it he just looks at the ocean, raises his eyebrow and posiden spits up a very much alive and in tact but also incredibly confused telemachus.

the waves sound suspiciously like someone saying "nope" over and over again.

[iolesbookshelf]

Odysseus: and what did we learn today, class?

Crew: ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves.

Odysseus: that’s right

Crew: You killed some of our comrades and you’re a danger to us too. So we must be ruthless and kill you to protect ourselves

Odysseus: no NOT like that WAIT no!!

[desos-records]

just now realizing that in Warrior of the Mind when Odysseus and Athena are asking for each other's names, Odysseus correctly identifies her as Athena and says all this complementary stuff, but never actually tells her his name. oh, my man of many turns, you were right: selfish and prideful and vain, vain above all

[a-v-j]

POLITEEEEEES

I could never draw polites good like this again tbh 🥲

[haley-harrison]

Epic modern AU - part 3:

Odysseus (texting): send dudes

Penelope: you mean nudes?

Odysseus: no, dudes. I'm in a fight, I need backup