Something incredible happened. Bee, who is usually pretty conservative about imbibing, decided she wanted to get REALLY SHIT-FACED. In all the years I've known her, she is a slow and steady drinker, it's impossible to get her seriously drunk. Heavily buzzed, yes, a little wobbly in the knees, maybe. But never like super smashed or anything.
But there was some kinda wild streak that got in her last night...some crazed urging from a long-lost whim of Dionysus or some bullshit…Because a decision was made.
Bee likes this Jim Beam Honey Bourbon Whiskey I got her a few months back. So she drank it with the intention of getting WAY more drunk then she ever had before. I was not feeling the same wicked vibe so I decided to just roll with it sober and take videos of the inevitable hilarity.
Enter Stage 1:
Having A Good Time! So far just…a bit of a sassy streak from the whiskey. Bee is laughing and enjoying herself…so am I, she’s pretty funny.
Enter Stage 2:
I stupidly thought it would be funny to put on the 2008 movie Speed Racer….which is like a psychedelic drug trip on its OWN. Add Bee’s rapidly increasing whiskey rage and you have a somewhat dangerous combination.
Enter Stage 3:
Bee is not doing too hot by this point and I discover unhappily that she already hanging over. Drinking is over and she’s getting sick. Thirty minutes later she pukes her guts out and spends the next 3 hours rocking gently, leaning on me and unable to move without puking. I rubbed her back and held onto her while she blathered on the whole time and got really melancholic and self-deprecating. Poor thing.
After this she went right back to being slaphappy, hyperactive and hilarious! Is she human?? I have no idea. I don’t have enough experience with alcohol to make an educated analysis of her. Dionysus’ madness claimed her spirit but…seems to have only made her stronger!
I put her to bed and went to sleep myself. Now, normal Bee faces a new day, bleary-eyed and somewhat queasy, but not really regretful. After all, what’s better than getting completely blasted in your own home where you’re safe and sound?
Her final thoughts on this matter: “I sure did that.”
