It’s kind of sweet watching Tommy take care of the ascending God. The way he smiles down at the little glowing ball between his hands, seconds away from hugging it as tightly as he can. When Gman had confirmed that, yes, Darnold’s going to be coming back, Gordon had felt a relief heavy enough that he almost collapsed. But that was probably nothing compared to what Tommy felt.
Because of course Tommy would end up dating a future God. That’s just the kind of energy he attracts, apparently.
Gordon isn’t entirely sure how they’re going to explain this one to Joshua, but they’ll figure something out.
The two of them (three if you count Darnold) are sitting together in the garden, Gordon listening as Tommy explains the process of ascension for mortals. He’s slowly realized that he should have learned this a long while ago, all things considered.
“So, I looked like this?” Gordon points at the small orb, which almost seems slumped against Tommy’s hand.
“Mhm!” Tommy nods. “But not this red. You were more of a yellow orange, because that’s your- your magic color.”
“For how long?”
Tommy shifts the ball into one of his hands and taps his chin, thinking a little bit harder. “It should have been about- about a week, but for you, it was more than three.”
“Huh?” Gordon tilts his head. “Why did I take longer?”
Tommy laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and refusing to meet Gordon’s eyes. “Well…”
“TOMMY!”
Their conversation is interrupted by Benrey’s entrance to the garden, twirling a baseball bat in his hands. He glares at the orange glowing orb in Tommy’s hands.
Tommy gasps, springing to his feet and holding the ball close to his chest. “Benrey, no!”
“Hey, Benrey,” Gordon waves from his nice spot on the grass. “Where’s Joshua?”
Benrey switches to a sweet smile as he talks to Gordon. “He’s with the grandads,” he responds, before once again his face shifts to the stern expression. He points a finger at Tommy, almost menacingly. “Give me Darnold.”
“No! I’m not letting you hit this one with a- with a baseball bat!”
Something about the phrasing is strange to Gordon. “Wait. This one?”
Tommy winces for a moment, but is quickly startled by Benrey rushing forward, bat raised and ready to strike. In an instant, he teleports behind Benrey to the entrance of the garden, fleeing with Darnold in hand.
Benrey looks between the entrance and Gordon. “Uh, bye,” he waves, before running out after Tommy.
For a second, Gordon sits there, confused. And then his brain puts a few things together, and he realizes something.
“Benrey, you motherfucker!” Gordon stands, bolting out of the garden after him.
For the next five years, Gordon doesn’t see much of Benrey. Which is weird, since they live in such a confined space. The only reason Gordon can think of for this turn of events is that, for some reason, Benrey has only realized now that they should be avoiding him.
Whenever they pass each other, though, Benrey is quick to retreat. During the monthly Skeleton strategy meetings, they’ve been unnaturally quiet, pointedly looking away from Gordon. They don’t even come to classes anymore, though that may just be because they’re becoming rare. It’s almost getting to be offensive at this point. After a century of not caring, you suddenly decide you don’t want to be cursing someone with your presence?
There’s something not right about that, but Gordon can’t figure out what. Maybe it’s the slightly more hollow look to their eyes that every so often, he sees a glint of emotion he can’t make out. Guilt? Contempt? Regret?
Benrey has always been a tough nut to crack.
◇☆◇
A loud knock from the front door jolts Gordon awake. At first, he sits up in bed, convinced it was just the remnants of yet another nightmare. But as his brain starts to kick back into gear, the knocking begins again, more forceful than before.
The first rays of daylight are starting to peek above the horizon, and Gordon knows for a fact that no matter who’s at the door, they won’t understand that it doesn’t mean they’re allowed to wake him up. Still, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he trudges down the stairs. Cutting off a third round of knocking, he opens the door to find Benrey standing there, their shoulders slumped and a wrapped gift in their hands.
Gordon’s annoyance briefly turns to surprise, but it returns soon enough. “Benrey? What the hell are you doing here?”
They begin to sputter. “Um, I- I have something to tell you,” they finally manage to say. “But I’m really sucks with words, so. Please listen?”
Gordon’s hand grips a little bit tighter to the edge of the door. He almost considers slamming it in their face and going back to bed. But something about the pleading look in Benrey’s eyes, how tightly they’re clutching that package… it stops him.
He sighs. “Alright. Go ahead.”
Benrey swallows. “A while ago, I tried to apologize to you, but it was… it was really bad. Because I didn’t know what I did wrong, and I think I only hurt you more. Which isn’t what saying sorry is supposed to do.” They take a deep breath and look Gordon right in the eyes before confessing, “I’m sorry I got you killed.”
They fidget with their hands, clearly wanting to say more. “Okay,” Gordon prompts them. “Go on?”
“I was good once! I was nice to people, I didn’t let bad things happen. But then I-” They bite their knuckle lightly, cutting off whatever they were going to say next. “That’s not an excuse. I stopped seeing mortals as people. I thought they all hated me because I was bad, so I didn’t want to try to be not bad again. And I hurt you, and a lot of other people, and that was really wrong of me.”
Gordon’s jaw drops. He’s too busy boggling at the actual, genuine apology in front of him to stop Benrey.
They take another shaky breath. “You didn’t deserve that. You were gonna be a great person, better than me.”
Fuck, Benrey’s crying now. Gordon reaches out a hand, but they brush it away by shoving the package forward. “This is for you! Tommy said I should learn about mortals, so I’ve been reading lots of these biographies.” They sniffle. “And when I saw this one I knew I had to read it. I wanted to understand real bad. And now I’m giving it to you, so you can know this stuff too.”
Now that he’s holding the gift, Gordon can see that the wrapping job is kind of shit. The paper is bunched up in some places, and he can clearly see the edges of book pages through a few holes. Well… it’s the thought that counts.
“Benrey, what is this?” Gordon asks.
“Don’t-” Benrey wipes their eyes, their voice a bit more even. “You don’t ask. You’re supposed to open it.”
One last time, Gordon glances between Benrey and the gift in his hands. Then, with an unsure anticipation, he rips it open.
The fact that it’s a book isn’t surprising. It’s worn, though Gordon’s not sure if that’s from Benrey’s use or if they just got it that way. But such a consideration is banished from his mind when he reads the title and realizes what it is he’s holding.
“Is this my brother’s biography?”
Benrey nods, pointing at a line of text near the bottom of the cover. “It’s, uh, got help from his son.” They pause for a moment, before adding. “Your nephew. So I thought it would be good.”
They keep speaking, but honestly, Gordon doesn’t hear them. Right now, he feels like he’s holding the key to the universe. In some other world, where he’d never died, where he and John had met again… he would have known all this already. He presses his face into one of his hands, trying his best to still his breathing and push back the tears.
“Oh, shit,” Benrey realizes. “I didn’t- No, you weren’t supposed to cry! I didn’t mean to-”
They’re cut off by Gordon pulling them into a hug, leaning his forehead down into their shoulder. “Thank you, Benrey,” he manages to sob. “Thank you so much.”
Benrey doesn’t respond. But silently, they reach around and hug Gordon back.
Gordon wakes up to a shifting in the mattress next to him, a pair of arms tightening around him, and a head nestling under his chin. With a content sigh, he runs a hand through Benrey’s hair, just enjoying the feeling of laying next to his partner.
"Good morning," Benrey mumbles, snuggling in closer.
The sound of their voice immediately brings a smile to Gordon's face. "Morning." Blinking his eyes open, he notices the first rays of daylight filtering their way into their bedroom. “We should get up soon,” he remarks.
In response, Benrey only wraps their arms further around Gordon.
“Come on, Benrey,” Gordon scolds them, but he makes no move to push them away. “We’re going to get a late start.”
Reluctantly, Benrey pulls away from Gordon, sitting up. “Do you want to go to Gamestop today?” they ask as he twists around to grab his glasses from the nightstand.
“Gamestop?” Gordon raises an eyebrow, looking towards Benrey with his now-clear vision. “Didn’t we go last week? What do you need already?”
Benrey shrugs. “We can visit my friend Josh.”
The friend Josh. Gordon’s almost one-hundred percent sure Benrey made up Josh as a joke, considering that while he supposedly worked at every Gamestop they’ve been too, he had never actually been on shift during their all too frequent visits. Also, Benrey claims to go see him all the time, but Gordon knows for a fact they barely leave the house all day.
“Is it just that you want to head down after we’re done?” Gordon clarifies, and he can tell from the way Benrey perks up that he’s right. “Because there’s way more stuff to do on Earth than just go to Gamestop, you know.”
Slowly, Tommy had made it his mission to begin reintegrating the other Gods into human culture. He claims it’s important to their roles as deities to understand the life of a modern mortal, but Gordon suspects that he just wants to be able to carry a conversation about his favorite TV shows with them. But strangely enough, both Benrey and Gordon have taken to these new things called “video games.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, we could…” Gordon pauses for a moment. He’s only watched, like, three episodes of TV with Tommy, and he’s really struggling to remember any of it. What the fuck do people do, again? “Eat… somewhere?”
Benrey chuckles as they slide off the bed. “Feetman asking me out to dinner. First date.”
“Wh-” Gordon sputters. “Benrey, we’ve been on a ton of dates!”
“Taking me to a fancy restaurant!” They dramatically drape a hand over their forehead. “Might as well just pop the question here!”
Gordon loves Benrey’s stupid smile, even if they’re currently using it to mock him.
◇☆◇
By the time they pass the third McDonald’s, Benrey has worn down Gordon’s resolve. They enter the clown’s eatery, and Benrey’s eyes immediately light up at the decor inside. Stupid looking seats, something resembling a statue of Ronald McDonald himself! How could they not be enamored?
While neither of them have ever had fast food before, Gordon’s first bite of a burger tells him everything he needs to know about chain restaurants as a whole.
“Well, it’s,” Gordon struggles. “It’s not the best. But also I want to eat it forever?”
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Benrey responds from the other side of the booth. “This is gross and amazing.”
Gordon makes a face. “Don’t call the food gross as we’re eating it, man.”
“You call me gross all the time, and you’re dating me,” Benrey counters, digging through their pocket.
“Because you do gross things.” Gordon begins counting on his fingers as he speaks. “You don’t clean up your soda when you spill it, you sometimes don’t shower for weeks, you like to get your grubby Dorito dust-covered hands all over the clean laundry-”
Benrey finds what they were looking for: a small black box, which they slide over to Gordon’s side of the table.
“You-” Gordon stops himself, looking down at the box. There’s no fucking way it’s what he thinks it is, right? “Benrey. What the fuck is this?”
They fold their hands in front of themself, obviously nervous. “It’s, um. For you.”
“Are you-”
“Look,” Benrey pops open the box, revealing a bright and shiny ring inside. “I want to marry you.”
Gordon brings a hand to his face, his eyes welling up with tears. “You’re… you’re seriously proposing to me in the fucking McDonald’s?!”
“Yeah.” Benrey nods, biting their lip. “I love you too much. Can’t wait any longer.”
“What do you-” Gordon starts, but truly, he doesn’t want to get off track right now. He looks back down at the engagement ring, and holy fuck, never in his life did he think he would get something THAT nice. The way it sparkles in the shitty McDonald’s fluorescent lighting almost takes his breath away. Benrey nervously wrings their hands together.
“Benrey,” Gordon smiles. “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Benrey pumps their fists, whispering “Yes!” to themself.
Gordon holds out his left hand. “Alright, settle down. Put the ring on.” Though they take the ring into their hand, Benrey suddenly freezes.
“I… which one?”
“The fourth one, Benrey,” Gordon sighs. “It’s called the ring finger for a reason.”
But Gordon’s slight disappointment in his boyfriend—his fiancé, now—subsides the moment he sees the ring on his finger. And looking back over at Benrey, who looks so happy they’re about to cry, he can’t help but feel as though he’s the luckiest man alive.
Tommy had to have been fucking with Gordon when he said this weird machine in front of him was a CD player. Slamming it down on the table in front of him and saying, “Now you can- you can figure out it’s not magic!” was definitely a joke of some kind. Because there’s no way this thing can actually work without magic!
At first, Gordon tries putting one of the CDs Tommy gave him on top of the player, but after a few minutes of staring blankly, nothing happens. He repeated the process with the CD under the player, but still, no music. Then he held it pressed against the front, the sides, and the back, all of which went about as well as his other attempts.
The only explanation was that Tommy lied, because how the fuck else are you supposed to use a CD player?
Gordon is sitting on his front steps, fiddling with the player, when Benrey finds him.
“Hey,” they wave. “What’re you doing out here so late?”
“I think Tommy got sick of the CD player debate, because he gave me this,” Gordon points at the machine in front of him. “I think it’s busted, though. I can’t figure out how to get it to work.”
Four full years have yet to kill Gordon’s feelings for Benrey, shockingly. If anything, they only seem to have intensified, which makes their interactions hell for Gordon to claw his way through. Because, while Benrey has flirted with him before, they aren’t exactly known for speaking what they think.
“Let me see,” Benrey scooches onto the steps next to him, and Gordon has to ignore how much that makes his heart race.
They begin poking at the machine and Gordon’s about to yell at Benrey not to break it, but then…
Pop!
The lid of the player opens.
Gordon didn’t even realize there was a lid.
“Fuck,” he says.
Benrey cackles and Gordon feels his face go red, both from embarrassment and the fact that he just heard his favorite sound in the world.
“I didn’t- Shit,” Gordon shoves the CDs towards Benrey. “You figured it out, you get to decide what music we listen to.”
“Oh fuck yeah.” Benrey begins reading the titles written in messy handwriting. “I’ve never heard of any of these.”
There’s an excitement visible on Benrey’s face, evident from the way their mouth is curled into a smile, their eyes squished with excitement. As they flip through the CDs, Gordon can’t help but think about how easy it would be to just say something! Tell Benrey how he feels! Get it off his chest!
But as Benrey holds up their choice, something in Gordon’s heart catches. The words get buried deep down.
“This thing is French, dude! We gotta listen to it!” Benrey places the CD in the player, and Gordon is just barely able to read the title before they slam the lid shut.
Edith Piaf - La Vie en Rose
Nothing happens.
“Uh, I think you did it wrong-,” Gordon starts.
“No, I- Gimme!” Benrey snatches the player out of Gordon’s hands and begins hitting buttons. He attempts to snatch the player back, but Benrey just holds it away from him.
Gordon shouts, “Benrey! Stop! You’re going to break it!”
“No way! I’m gonna make it music, hang on!” Benrey tries to push Gordon away.
With a click, the music starts to play, brass instruments that Gordon can’t quite identify. And instantly, he feels himself relax, drawing his arms back. Benrey places the CD player down between them.
For a moment, as the vocals kick in, they are silent. Gordon doesn’t understand a single word, but from Benrey’s expression, they definitely do.
“It’s uh,” Benrey struggles. “It’s not magic. I don’t feel any.”
Gordon squints. Sure enough, there’s nothing magical about this. “Fuck, Tommy was right.”
The two of them meet eyes before bursting out into laughter. Gordon lays back on the steps, bringing a hand to his forehead and just letting himself have a joyful moment. Fuck, they’re going to have to apologize to Tommy now, aren’t they?
“We’re a couple of assholes,” Benrey snorts, leaning against the wall of Gordon’s home.
“Yeah,” Gordon sighs as he comes down from his giggling fit. “But we’re assholes together.”
Benrey pauses for a second, and Gordon’s afraid he may have said the wrong thing. And then they smile, and it truly is the most wonderful thing he’s seen them do. “Together,” they echo.
Gordon is surprised to feel Benrey take his hand into their own. “I wanna… wanna tell you something? So please listen.”
He doesn't register Benrey’s words, not completely. Gordon is too focused on the fact that every inch of his hand that Benrey holds—their palms pressed together, the little spaces between his fingers, the little circles Benrey keeps rubbing on the back—all of it is on fire. Burning with such intensity that Gordon thinks he may become ashes.
"When I look at you, I feel bad things sometimes," Benrey admits. "Because I know you're not supposed to be here, at least, not back then." They swallow, shaking their head. "You were supposed to live."
"Benrey, you know I forgave-"
But Benrey cuts him off once again. "But a lot of the time, I look at you and I feel happy things." Their nice little smile returns, Gordon's heart thumping in his chest. "You're a fun guy. You make me feel all fuzzy and great. I think that's love."
Gordon blinks.
Oh.
Fuck.
They just
He sits up in a flash, his grip on Benrey's hand deathly tight. Almost fittingly, the song they're listening to swells.
"Did you just say you're in love with me?"
Benrey's eyes are wide, obviously rattled. Silently, biting their lip, they nod.
Gordon's heart soars. He glances down at their interlocked hands, looks back up at Benrey, and says, "I'm in love with you, too."
Benrey gasps, and it's so soft and real that Gordon can only think of one thing to say.
"I want to kiss you."
Benrey's expression turns to elation, and they nod once again, this time with more excitement. So Gordon leans in, and they meet him halfway.
Kissing Benrey is nothing like Gordon expected. Their free hand reaches up to cup his face, and both of them are smiling into each other's lips. There's a buzzing feeling in his chest, but now, Gordon doesn't have to fight against it.
Gordon and Coomer are by the Viewing Pool, in the middle of one of their weekly coffee meetings when Tommy returns from Earth. He’s waving a newspaper in one of his hands, as if he were a paperboy, with an excited grin across his face.
“Mr. Freeman! Mr. Coomer! You- you guys won’t believe this!” He throws the newspaper down on the picnic blanket between the two of them. Coomer places his coffee down and picks it up. “I remember these guys praying to me and I- and I thought they would need a lot of help! But they did it! They found it!”
“Found what?” Gordon asks.
Coomer clears his throat, and begins to read. “A team of anteologists from across the world, known for their breakthroughs in the study of precursor civilizations, have made headway in their field by being the first to uncover ruins of the city known as Mesa- Ah!” He cuts himself off, eyes lighting up. “Mesa! That’s where Bubby and I are from! What a lovely town that was...”
“Oh! It’s your home?” Tommy takes a seat next to Coomer. “Maybe if- if it opens to the public, we can visit sometime!”
Gordon takes the paper from Coomer and begins reading on his own. To be honest, he wasn’t familiar with quite a few of the words he heard.
“Well, Bubby and I haven’t lived there since we were in our thirties…” Coomer thinks for a moment. “But it is where we met, so perhaps a trip down would be worth it!”
Gordon squints at the article. “Uh, guys? What’s a precursor civilization?”
Tommy stares blankly at him, while Coomer shakes his head. “Goodness, are they teaching children anything at all down there?”
“Wh- hey! I am not representative of all mortal education!” Gordon counters. “Look, I know schools in frontier towns weren’t that great, but they taught me what I needed!”
Tommy interjects, “Not- not history.”
“Maybe they would have! I don’t know,” Gordon sighs, his head falling to rest on his upright knee. “I had to drop out when I was eleven because of family. The town doctor slipped me books when he could, but… I kinda wish I stayed.”
Coomer places a finger on his chin. “Perhaps we could put on a school for you, Gordon. We could catch you up on everything we think you should have learned about!” He laughs to himself. “We haven’t had a school since Tommy was a child.”
Tommy flaps his hands a little bit. “Oh! Yes! That’d be really- really fun!” Wow, Tommy, a God whose domain partially involves knowledge, wanting to teach people? Who would have thought?
But, thinking about it, a few lessons wouldn’t be a bad idea. Gordon would be lying if he said he hasn’t bullshitted his way through a few conversations in the past, and some part of him does ache to return to a learning environment.
“What do you say, Gordon?” Coomer jolts him from his thoughts.
“Yes.” He doesn’t need to think twice about it. “I think I’d like that a lot.”
◇☆◇
They don’t arrange an actual classroom, which is fine. In fact, Gordon’s grateful for it, going all out with desks and a chalkboard would have been extremely patronizing. Instead, they sit around one of the few nice common areas, like the garden. Gordon will listen to Coomer or Tommy ramble, taking notes if he needs to, Bubby’s mostly there to loudly proclaim when someone is wrong, and Benrey…
“I have a question,” Gordon asks on their first day.
“Go ahead, Gordon!” Coomer encourages him.
Gordon points at Benrey. “What’s he doing here?”
For a moment, Coomer seems to struggle to find an answer. “I did warn him that he might not like today’s subject matter,” he admits. “But Benrey has every right to be present for this history lesson, even if he did live through it.”
“Today, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy redirects the conversation. “Since you asked, we’re- we’re going to talk about precursor civilizations. Mr. Coomer’s going to tell you about what they were like, and I’m- I’m going to tell you a history of recent discoveries!”
Coomer’s lecture is pretty interesting, considering it’s based more on his memory than any actual research. He stumbles a few times, which Bubby is quick to pick up on, but for the most part, life back then seemed… normal?
Gordon notices that sometimes, whenever Coomer mentions an invention of some kind, Tommy will remark that it’s still used on Earth. Which doesn’t make sense, because Gordon doesn’t remember ever listening to a CD player, or even hearing about one before?
“I don’t get it,” Gordon interrupts Coomer and Bubby’s tangent about how much a different city’s soccer team sucked. “If these civilizations were so advanced that we’re only now recreating what they had, then… what happened?”
Coomer and Bubby go silent, contrasting the fact that Tommy is looking at them with a hope that can only be described as worn down. And Gordon realizes this is almost like a routine.
Benrey doesn’t answer either. He silently draws his knees to his chest, attempting to hide his face behind them. But Gordon can still see his eyes, distant and glassy.
Gordon will never admit it, but he feels a twinge of pity for Benrey. Makes him want to reach out and comfort him, and he has to remind himself that Benrey doesn’t deserve it.
Coomer breaks the tension. “Tommy, why don’t you tell us about the researchers? I’m curious.”
Tommy sighs, and even his dejection looks old. Truthfully, Gordon doesn’t hear much of what he says, because whatever the hell just happened weighs heavily on his mind. Just the way that Coomer ignored his question, Benrey’s obvious fear…
“But- But this is interesting, Gordon!” Tommy saying his name brings him back to the present. “This guy has the same last name as you.”
“Really?” Freeman wasn’t that common of a name, he thought. He could only think of a few other people who had it, and all of them were his family.
Tommy nods, enthusiastic. “I was looking at the- at the dates, and anteology didn’t really take off until a few years after you. Uh. Came here.” Well, nice of him to avoid saying he died. “So it makes sense you didn’t know about it. But it’s all thanks to this guy, John Freeman!”
Gordon feels his polite smile drop in an instant.
“Did you… did you just say John?”
“Yeah! He’s- uh,” Tommy puts the puzzle pieces together in real time. “He… oh shit. You- you had family, didn’t you?”
Fuck, how old was John when Gordon left home? Ten? Could it really be him?
"Do you have a picture?" Gordon asks, and he knows if it is it's going to hurt him so bad. But he has to know if it's John, see if he grew up.
Tommy turns to the stack of textbooks he brought with him. "Oh, I think- in here," he mumbles as he flips through the pages of one. "Right! Here!" He slides the book over to Gordon.
The picture is tucked neatly into the corner, and there's no doubt anymore. That's Gordon's brother, he'd recognize that mess of dark hair anywhere. Their chins, their mother had always said they had the same chin.
Alongside the picture is a brief description of the life of John Freeman. Most of it is about his academic career, but there are few sentences dedicated to his early life.
When Freeman was six, his mother passed away from pneumonia. His sister, only eleven, dropped out of school to support John as he continued his education.
"Is that- is that him, Mr. Freeman?" Tommy speaks up.
Fuck, Gordon’s eyes are getting watery. "Yeah, that's… my little brother. That's John." He pushes some hair out of his face, fully crying now. "They um, they got some things wrong."
It's been over one hundred years since Gordon last saw his brother. There's no way he's still alive. Gordon died, and John lived. And now John is dead and Gordon is…
Here.
Gordon feels a pair of arms wrap around, then another, and finally a third pair. Tommy, Coomer, and even Bubby are there, and they have them, and they're his family.
And on the fringes, Gordon spots Benrey, who freezes when he's spotted. The expression on his face is unreadable.
