"I will always be here for you. Fuck the haters."
"You reek of edge lord and it's a magnetic force that's drawing me in :)"
These were some of my favorite notes from the envelope system camp had. At gay camp we had envelops with our names on them. You could leave nice notes for others to look at after they leave camp. You might wonder why I'm sharing this with you.
It's because of my parents.
After my parents picked me up from camp, they had the normal questions. "How was it? Did you have a good time?". I start talking about the friends I made and how nice everyone was and how I got a queer platonic partner. They interrupt with "So what did you take away from the camp? What were your favorite classes?". This was a leadership camp, and they expected me to talk about what I learned, which was the purpose of the camp. Thing is, I didn't think about that at all. What I thought about was the friends I made and the things I learned that weren't on the schedule. "How was X seminar? Did you like it? Will forming a GSTA be your takeaway?".
Truth is, I don't remember the classes that well. What I do remember is how one of my new friends are charcoal from the fire pit in the first day and then we started playing with charcoal and were banned from the fire pit for a few days. I remember how the counselors told us that if we were having sensory or anxiety issues we could step out, how they had fidget toys if we needed them, how we called one counselor Witch Mom, and she did tarot readings and makeup and made sure we took care of ourselves. I remember my roommate waking me up at four in the morning by singing Sweet Caroline, and how he told me he and a friend walked around campus at 5 am. I remember how all the kids knew that the birds work for the bourgeoisie. I remember how we could joke and talk freely, and swear if we wanted to. Some kids got sick from too much ice cream. I remember how on the days I used neopronouns, someone said "We love and respect neopronouns in this house", and how people would tell me I was valid. I remember how you could ask for a hug if you needed one, how we set guidelines for the community so no one was hurt. I remember people complimenting my clothes, and I remember complimenting other's clothes. I remember how so many people talked about self care. I remember how everyone sang gay songs at the campfire, how everyone was supportive, how everyone was truly happy. I remember how at the last circle almost everyone said that we were loved, valid, important, and worth it. I remember how there were two other genderfluid kids and even more outside of the gender binary and how for the first time I didn't feel alone. I remember how there was a sense of community. How there was support everywhere. And my parents are asking me about the seminars.
This was the first time I felt I wasn't alone, and the first time I heard that I was loved and really, truly, believed it. It was the first time I had ever heard the phrases "You are important", "You are worth it", "You are valid", or "Your pronouns are valid", and it was something I needed. Thank you.
Mom, dad, I was so excited to share this with you. You weren't interested. On paper, the purpose of the camp was leadership and stuff. In reality, it was friends and love and acceptance.
The camp I am talking about is the New Leaders Project by EqualityMaine. It is amazing.
TL;DR: I was excited to share the friends I made at gay camp with my parents but they just wanted to know about the schedule and I'm ranting. Go check out EqualityMaine on Facebook.
