What Riding Trainers Say VS What They Think
Trainer Says: Ok, that was good.
Trainer Thinks: That was absolutely terrible.
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Trainer Says: (to beginner w no experience) Sure, you can untack him.
Trainer Thinks: God help this horse.
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Trainer Says: Yeah, he won’t bite.
Trainer Thinks: I will pray for you.
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Trainer Says: I'll go get the saddle.
Trainer Thinks: And down a bottle of vodka.
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Trainer Says: That was amazing!
Trainer Thinks: Wow, I now have a little faith in you, look at that! I never thought I’d see the day!
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Trainer Says: (to a beginner who fell off) Oh! Are you okay? No, no, it’s fine, don’t cry!
Trainer Thinks: Jesus Christ, if this child doesn’t stop crying in the next ten minutes I’m out.
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Trainer Says: Okay, keep your heels down. Head up.
Trainer Thinks: Really, how is it possible to have such bad eq?
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Trainer Says: (to rider who literally just got up five minutes ago and drove like they were in a car chase to the show) You look great! Now get out there and kick some ass!
Trainer Thinks: You look like Gollum! Now get out there and don’t die!
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Trainer Says: She’ll clear it nicely, don’t worry!
Trainer Thinks: Once you get bucked off at least forty times.
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Trainer Says: Oh, of course not! I love all my riders!
Trainer Thinks: I hate five specific people but I’m not gonna say anything because I love my job.
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Trainer Says: (to rider complaining about horse after being thrown off) oh, come on, he didn’t mean to! He’s a good boy.
Trainer Thinks: I don’t like you so I trained him to do that. He’s a very good boy.
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Trainer Says: I hate this horse!
Trainer Thinks: Actually I value this horse with my life if anyone were to hurt him I would have their head on a pike in my living room.
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Trainer Says: (to other trainer friends who don’t like the horse in the ring) Pfft, yeah, he’s not strong enough.
Trainer Thinks: I’m buying him and never telling you.
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Trainer Says: I’m gonna bring the jump up.
Trainer Thinks: Have fun trying to not die!
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Trainer Says: Why are your reins so long?
Trainer Thinks: I could attach another horse onto them!
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Trainer Says: (when it starts lashing raining so they can’t ride) I’m fine! It’s okay!
Trainer Thinks: I’m actually dying. It’s not okay!
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Trainer Says: (to rider who’s rising too high in the trot) Yeah, that’s perfect!
Trainer Thinks: Why the fuck are you bouncing like a kangaroo? What are you?
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Trainer Says: It’s okay, Tia, everyone falls off.
Trainer Thinks: This is hilarious, I’m posting this on every social media I have. “YO YAAA’LL LMAOOOO GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED MY RIDER FELL OFF AND I CAN’T LAUGH SO I’M POSTING HERE!” Aaaand send! Haha. Oh shit, what if Tia’s parents see this? I’m fucking screwed!DELETE!
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Trainer Says: Okay, come back around and do it again. You missed jump three.
Trainer Thinks: How the fuck? It was right in front of your eyes, woman!
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Trainer Says: I love my horses.
Trainer Thinks: Yeah, I love my horses. Even though they can be demons when they want to.They're my babies and I love them.