#equius.pdf

[nekropsii]

Do you have any thoughts on Equius

Equius is a fucked up kid who has done a lot wrong, but he is still a kid. He reads as a startlingly real portrayal of a pubescent autistic boy with an unhealthy and shaky grasp of his budding, overwhelming sexuality, with a concerning amount of influence from the internet. He is the result of adults failing him, and exposing him to hardcore fetish porn at an age too early. This is a real kind of guy that exists. A very common one, who I have met, like, at least 40 of.

Like Eridan, he feels like a kid stuck in a pipeline — except instead of the alt-right pipeline, it’s fetishism and hypersexuality. He feels like a pretty solid example of how getting involved in NSFW spaces online as a child can both deeply fuck up your sexuality and completely destroy your perception of what consent is, and what is and is not okay. He doesn’t have a grasp on boundaries whatsoever, and while this manifests in ways that are quite honestly horrifying and uncomfortable — like constantly projecting his Caste-Play BDSM fetishes onto nonconsenting, unsuspecting individuals, and… The things he did to Aradia — I cannot help but view him as an autistic boy having a rough time of puberty who got groomed through the internet over-exposing him to pornography at an early age. He’s deeply sympathetic to me from that angle. Again, I have met this kid. Homestuck is fantastic at presenting characters that are exact archetypes of real people you have known, be it personally or not. People you would have either been close friends with in middle school, or terrorized by in a random chat room on the internet. Maybe they were even you! There’s a complete nonzero chance someone is reading this who has played the role of Equius in their youth, who is totally fine and healthy now. And if that’s true, and this describes you… I’m proud of your growth!

Back to Analysis- His ardent Hemoloyalty is fascinating, also. I’ve written about this before, but there’s something compelling and very realistic about how his bigotry comes from a place of deep insecurity, rather than pride. I find bigotry coming from insecurity to be more common than it coming from overt pride. Many fictional bigots have such a genuine ego to them, a fine layer of paint labeled Badassery, when for the most part real life bigots are total losers with nothing better to do than worry about… Where someone was born, or how much melanin they have, or what’s in their pants, or whatever.

I get why people don’t tend to be fond of him, but the disquieting parts of his character are both very deliberate choices and also shockingly… Earnest, in a weird, Hussian fashion. I’ve never quite seen a character with his traits get portrayed before. He’s easy to work with, analytically speaking, you just have to be willing to stick your hands in the uncomfortable muck that is messy teenage sexuality. Many aren’t willing to, which is fair! But many also mislabel his uncomfortable traits as not intentionally uncomfortable, or simply a product of Hussie being weird and wrong and having bad opinions. This… Just blatantly isn’t the case. Sometimes fiction isn’t comfortable on purpose. Big whoop.

I think Equius could’ve been quite a fine person, had he been given the room to grow up. He’s like Jake to me in the sense that he’s one of the only characters I genuinely wouldn’t mind seeing expanded upon more, provided he be taken seriously, and not completely sanded down.

Alas.

[nekropsii]

Random question but since you're one of the few people who's right about the Alpha trolls:

Which beta troll is most like Damara

Which beta troll would get along with Damara the best?

(Need this for a thing I'm writing)

Kinda hard to think of who she’s most similar to. That depends on the metric you’re looking for.

My first thought was Equius, due to them both having rather unhealthy relationships with their sexualities and boundaries, of which are self defense/coping mechanisms, in a sense. The main difference is the reasoning why they’re like that, and the level of which they’re deliberate about it.

For Damara, it’s a very active choice she makes, and the result of her getting completely broken and betrayed by those around her. For Equius, it’s the result of getting exposed to pornography far too early, and not quite understanding the social rules of sexuality yet. Her toying with what I call Casteplay is, to me, a method Equius uses to cope with an inherent feeling of disconnect with the Hemospectrum, the only thing she feels gives her any sense of structure or purpose in this world.

The thing about Damara that one has to keep in mind is that she’s actually really sweet to anyone that isn’t the other Alpha Trolls. We do see her interact with some of the Beta Kids privately, and she’s an absolute darling, and speaks to them entirely in English. Her extreme, overbearing sexuality and even the language barrier is completely artificial - it’s a weapon she uses to keep everyone else back so she won’t get hurt again.

Trying to find out who Damara would be closest to might be a matter of sussing out who would best help her talk about and ease out of her pain. It might be emotionally turbulent, but I feel like really venting about everything honestly and being taken seriously and finally having a support network would work wonders for her.

My personal bet is Sollux, maybe. He has just the right level and type of listening skills, empathy, wits, and open pessimism that I think she’d really connect to. Also, she’s a nerd ass, so she naturally gravitates to other nerd asses.

That’s just my take, though.

[nekropsii]

your equius analysis is much needed. it's dark out there in the trenches, i just saw someone on twitter call her a rapist unironically.

what's the etymology behind the name "ephona"?

I've recently learned that that's not an unheard of take. I've seen that, apparently, people will get hit with anons spam-repeating that accusation in all caps in very big blocks of text. Very disconcerting stuff, even for me. It's true that some serious violations of autonomy vis-à-vis Aradiabot were committed - fun fact, that whole ordeal was actually Vriska's idea - but calling Equius a rapist just... isn't true. That did not happen in the source material.

I... Don't really like how flippantly people will throw around such strong sex crime accusations. It happens a lot in fandom, for reasons ranging from "Character is Autistic-Coded", to "Character flirted with someone who wasn't particularly interested", to "Character committed an unrelated act of Violation of Personal Autonomy". It's like how the label of "Pedophile" seems to get thrown around for fun. Weirds me out. It's really dangerous. We've all seen how readily people will weaponize such accusations against minority groups, whether they proclaim themselves allies or not. It's best not to treat such things so lightly.

Ephona Zahhak as a name for transfem!Equius was @acanthous-affability's idea. It's based on Epona, a Gallo-Roman Goddess of Fertility, most known for being the Protector of Horses. It also reminds me of the funny little Legend of Zelda horse of the same name, which is a great bonus.

[nekropsii]

what do you see in equius ?? genuine question i don't mean to sound rude but to me she's just really offputting. she gives me such creep vibes that i can't seem to get over and every time i read a page with her it just gets worse..... like when i first read nep & eq's chats i was sitting there wondering if this was outright abuse or at least bullying of some kind??? it felt like it idk.......

but honestly i do wanna see an equius liker's opinion on him because i can't understand it like at all and i'm probably just missing something that all the equius likers saw and i didnt LMAO

Well, considering I’m an Alpha Trolls Enthusiast and have been for, like, a decade, as well as having Horror as a Special Interest since age… What, 3? I’d say I personally have a pretty strong stomach for Weird and Offputting in fiction, lol. Stronger than most. Equius isn’t a very palatable character at all, I’ll be the first to admit that - a lot of the characters I enjoy the most in Homestuck aren’t very palatable… But I find ‘em real interesting, personally. The fact that they aren’t palatable adds to the intrigue for me, and poor execution tends to be a total weakness of mine. Again, Alpha Trolls Enthusiast for a decade straight.

I have a post here that talks a bit about my reading of Equius, I’d recommend giving it a read. I see Eridan and Equius as being very similar characters - not necessarily due to their shared hemoloyalty, but because they’re both teens falling down online pipelines. They’re very prevalent Kinds Of Guy that no one wants to talk about.

But people talk about Eridan plenty even to this day - he was even a fandom favorite for a while, being the fandom’s first Prettyboy Sad Gay Anime Prince long before Dirk… So he doesn’t reel in as much interest for me as the chronically overlooked Equius.

If there’s anything to know about me, it’s that I love a good underdog.

Equius-Likers, from my experience, are very aware of his issues. It’s part of the draw. Enjoyment of him tends to be an analytical fixation. I haven’t met a single Equius-Liker that hasn’t had some very complex thoughts on him. They’re just kinda quiet about it. Fitting.

Unfortunately, I’m Aranea But Real, so. No quietness here.

Your response to Equius is valid. It’s also intended, I feel. To specifically address the bits about concerns of his relationship with Nepeta not being healthy… I mean, it’s not abusive, but it’s definitely more complicated than fan art would lead you to believe, as always. “Complicated” is to be expected from a Moirallegiance - remember what they exist for?

Nepeta is very much so in control of the things going on, and their relationship is pretty equal, all things considered, so I wouldn’t be worrying too much about that. She very distinctly does not lack agency here - Nepeta is the one who has a leash on Equius, not the other way around. Equius is mean, because that’s the way she is to… Everyone, more or less, but she’s not of any danger to Nepeta. They have a fine Moirallegiance. 1,000% more functional than whatever the fuck Karkat and Gamzee had going on.

Anyway. I think Equius is neat, and has both missed and oft overlooked potential. One of the very few characters I’d be 100% down to have seen more content of in the comic.

Once again, check out this post. I still think it’s decent. Maybe you will, too.

[nekropsii]

opinions on equius? he's my favorite character and you respond to these well lol

(probably asked already but fuck it)

I've answered something similar to this before, but not exactly. Maybe this will do something for you? It's about the most contentious parts of his character- being his Hemoloyalty in conjunction with his fetishism regarding what I can only really call "Casteplay".

It's often the first thing people go to when discussing Equius's character, so I feel like hearing someone not immediately condemn a 13 year old for being a little weird might just be comforting, lol. Thanks for the ask!

[nekropsii]

thoughts on equius and his compliance to alternias system?

Inherently linked to his deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Equius, as a character, is intrinsically linked to the idea of Teenage Insecurity- in himself, in his abilities, in his place in the world, and where life will take him. He’s uncertain of a lot of things, and is gripping onto the only steadfast stability he can find: His place on the Hemospectrum.

He’s 13-years-old, and doesn’t know any better yet- moreover, he doesn’t know any way in which he can actually stand out amongst his peers or have any control in his life outside of the fact that he was born quite fortunately higher on the Hemospectrum than most others were. It’s very fear-based, I believe, and I think that’s also why and how it’s turned to a point of Fetishism for him. You’d be quite surprised how many fetishes are derived from Stress and Fear.

I believe he would have changed and grown out of his staunch Hemoloyalty if he was ever given the chance to. Being separated from that one systemic cultural artifact that was the sole root of his sense of control would have been very scary for him, and adjusting would have been rough, but I think he’d genuinely mature out of that mindset if he had the time and space to.

[nekropsii]

im tired of ppl talking abt how much depth nepeta has and then never going into that. ots always "yeah she isnt uwu she kills people haha!!" and not "nepeta inherently lives in a society where if she does not comply to the romantic expectations she will be literally killed, with her closest relationship being equius who is very careful to remind her of the power bloodcolor holds. therefore her attraction to karkat is actually an extremely layered and complex part of her multifaceted character that is often overlooked" and thats not even getting into how ppls misunderstanding of meowrails works as a character assassination of the both of them.

not saying they cant exist outside of eachother, what i /am/ saying is that if you mischaracterize their relationship with eachother you are exponentially more likely to mischaracterize the two on their own as well.

i could go on, but i dont want to completely flood your inbox.

Absolutely true, you get it!! Nepeta has real, genuine depth to her character, and I love her.

In order to truly understand Nepeta, you have to understand Equius, and what Nepeta’s dynamic with him is. Same goes for the inverse. It’s not at all a stretch to say that one’s closest relationship can help define who they are- especially when what we’re talking about is, you know, a fictional character. That’s just how writing works!

As you said, they can exist outside of one another, but you really do have to understand their dynamic, even if you’re just writing how they function as people on their own. It’s integral to who they are as people. They really do balance each other out nicely.

It’s just such a shame that so many people do just fundamentally misunderstand them!! They’re interesting characters, really. Yet so often, they’re overlooked and misinterpreted…

[nekropsii]

you mentioned in your post about the knight of rage that equius was the passive leader of the troll session being the heir of void, do you mind going more into that? I'm just having trouble understanding how that was the case

That’s the point! Equius is an Heir of Void. His scurrying around is a very quiet thing, but if you look hard enough, you can actually see him in the backgrounds of random panels, just… Checking in. :)

Now, I’m not an expert on the Beta Trolls by any means, but I believe that the Beta Troll session would not have survived as long as it did without Equius blacking cameras and information out. He was kind of like a mediator and counterbalance to Vriska’s obnoxious Light-y bullshit.

I wish he would have survived longer- his function as a character is very interesting, but the Voidbound are typically slowburn background-type characters you don’t pay much mind to until their efforts culminate into something big. We never got that amount of time for Equius!