#er angst

[raraeavesmoriendi]

so I watched The Pitt and then realized that when I was watching ER with my mom in sixth grade, I came in right about the Luka and Abby years and missed a lot of Carter's arc

and I was like "oh cool let me go back and see baby!Noah Wyle" bc I am the kind of person where I would cut out my own kidney and hand it to Robby if he asked me to in a slightly gentle tone of voice (and also I would fight bears for all the students and the female staff, but that's a different post)

anyway now I'm five seasons in and I Love Everyone

today I was just thinking about Robby's flashbacks to having to take Adamson off life support during COVID, and how that's heartbreaking in and of itself and no wonder that poor man has PTSD

and then my brain whispered "what if it was Benton and Carter"

and I almost doubled over from the sheer amount of psychic pain I caused myself, like the air literally left my lungs

and then, late to the party probably, I happened to go on the Pitt imdb page to even look up who played Adamson, and I happened across this under trivia:

and I just.

it could have been Carter and Benton

(I don't remember how Eriq La Salle's tenure ended on ER yet, so maybe not really but ykwim)

but like. I feel the gutting of Robby and Adamson's loss so much more intensely now. what if it was Carter and Benton, or Ross, or hell even Weaver, you know?

having known someone for so long, having them be such a part of your world that you can count on them like the sun rising, and having to make the difficult choice to lose them so you can try to save a child? something you know they would tell you is the right thing to do, but you can't bring yourself to let them go, not really?

and I know that when I get through ER eventually and go back for my Pitt refresh before season 2, it's going to run me through like a knife.

[darrenandaaron]

The Wisdom to Know the Difference by zade (wordcount: 10,529)

“I’m not sure what happened,” Grantaire admits to Combeferre. His arm is in a cast, and he can feel the tight stretch on stitches on his forehead, but the most pertinent problem really is the panic growing in his belly. His drawing arm is in a cast. The arm he uses to make art, the only part of him that really truly needs to be functional for him to have the future he wants, and it’s in a cast, and he has no idea what he did.

Combeferre’s face turns concerned. “Your head wound didn’t look bad enough for a concussion…” He pauses, eyebrows near touching in thought. He grabs Grantaire’s chart off the bed and flips through it. The tension leaves his eyebrows and they instead skyrocket towards his hairline. “Your blood alcohol level was extremely high, Grantaire. Do you remember drinking?” -- For The March Hair, based on a heart wrenching picture

[darrenandaaron]

One Night Only by pyrrhlc (wordcount: 7,758)

The most disappointing thing about being a blind man in a rock band is that Grantaire has no idea how badass they look. Éponine assures him that they look very badass.

Rock Band AU.

[darrenandaaron]

Evergreen by lyres (wordcount: 160,415)

“Hey, you weren't saving this one, were you?” Grantaire says, pointing vaguely to his seat and turning towards his left-hand neighbour. The neighbour looks at him, and Grantaire's breath hitches in his throat. Oh, no. Holy shit.

(Slightly coming-of-age-y college AU that will likely involve R walking into the wrong class in his first week, les Amis as editors of the student paper, an eventual nightly arrest, and a trip to Paris)

[darrenandaaron]

Liberté, Egalité, Fraternity by callervera (wordcount: 126,689)

A Fraternity House AU When faced with the choice between living in an overpriced fleabag motel and a free fraternity house, Enjolras would absolutely choose the motel. In his opinion, frats are filled with boorish, sexist, drunken idiots. Unfortunately, the rest of his friends feel differently and les Amis take over a fraternity, Alpha Beta Chi, in order to help Marius Pontmercy make it through his pledge year. Enjolras is distracted from his intense hatred of the Greek system by a certain dark-haired artist who kinda comes along with the house.

[darrenandaaron]

Tagged by Salomonderiel (wordcount: 155,786)

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads.

And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels.

The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time.

And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

[darrenandaaron]

Forget Me Not by Opium_du_Peuple (wordcount: 103,488)

Enjolras loses four years worth of memories after a nasty car accident. Though he still remembers who Combeferre and Courfeyrac are, he also finds himself with a herd of friends he doesn't remember meeting. Friends who are exactly what his blank mind needs to recollect his missing memories.

or : the amnesia fic no one asked for.