#er thoughts

[dreamerdrop]

It really is terribly hard for me to get over Carter having Benton's appendix in a jar on his mantle, and being so enamoured by his newest most prized possession that he has photos of it, as well as Benton's unconcious body during it's acquisition, which he shows off gleefully to his coworkers, in earshot of Benton.

All of which, somehow, does not result in Benton getting a restraining order against Carter.

[er-the-surgeon]

Zheng Yi Sao, I just want you to know that I would never abandon you and I can file so good and I’ve never broken an abacus and I would leave your lil ships where they are and ma’am I am just so good at towels so if you ever, like, need anything or whatever I can totally do it

[wavy-er]

PARKS & REC SPECIAL WAS SO COOL! Honestly didn’t expect all that! They got everyone! I knew I’d love it but that was beyond anything I wanted. Literally started crying when they sang 5000 Candles in the Wind! Super impressed by it!

[dreamerdrop]

It is very funny to me that John Carter ER did not immediately clock Peter “Mama’s Boy” Benton as having a soft spot for him when Benton’s mother came in with an injured ankle and Benton very insistently put Carter in charge of looking after her.

Carter walking away genuinely thinking Benton is just off-loading him because he doesn’t wanna deal with Carter up in the OR with him, like. Carter. No one is this dense. Come on, man. Please.

[dreamerdrop]

I know I’ve said it before, but I just really, really, REALLY love that Kerry Weaver and Jeanie Boulet have a platonic break-up arc in which they both mutually think they have betrayed each other, and then they just… never resolve that. They never actually clear up what happened.

But then they don’t need to. They both, quietly, mutually, just assume the other had her reasons for what happend, and then they fall back into their friendship. Because they still love and care about each other too much to just let that closeness go.

And the way they love each other and trust each other and support each other afterwards means so, so, so much because they’ve both made a deliberate choice to keep each other around, despite it all.

I love them. I love how much they love each other. I love how much they insist on continuing to love each other, no matter what. They are just so important to each other, augh.

[dreamerdrop]

the thing i still really like about kem and carter’s relationship is that, like…

it’s two people going 0 to 100 way too fast in a relationship because they’re both caught up in the whirlwind fantasy of a happy family, and when it comes crashing down, it crashes hard— and where kem wants to move on with her life and leave the grief behind, carter wants to keep trying and salvage something between them out of the wreckage.

for kem, it’s like lingering near anything that reminds her of the grief is too painful. for carter, letting go of anything that reminds him of what could have been is where it hurts the most. i’d bet money that carter still has that unfinished nursery, covered in paint swatches, completely untouched since that day.

kem wants to forget it ever happened. carter wants to cling to the memory. polar opposite coping mechanisms in the wake of the same tragedy. doomed? yes. compelling? for me, absolutely.

[dreamerdrop]

We don’t get all that much information about Cleo Finch, but I feel like we do get roughly enough to understand her in some respects, anyway.

Like, I think we get the outline of how she might have felt as a child even if it is never outright stated, y’know?

She clearly has a chip on her shoulder about being half-white. It’s very specific that her issue is not with with being half-Black. She objects to the racism she experiences as a result, but it’s very blatant that she has no shame or insecurity about being Black— she has issues with her proximity to whiteness, and implies she’s generally uncomfortable around non-Black people specifically.

She only ever mentions her mother and shows discomfort about the lack of Black people in the hospital. She makes a few comments suggesting she has strong opinions on parents she sees as unprepared for raising children with atypical problems, or who don’t pay enough attention to how their child is actually feeling.

Her speciality in paediatrics in itself, and the way she instantly switches from her usual stoic expression to a sweet smile whenever she talks to a child also feels… I mean, it feels related, if nothing else.

It’s probably not a stretch to assume her mother wasn’t great at considering that Cleo was still, well… Black. It’s easy to imagine Cleo feeling frustrated that her mother didn’t understand and didn’t take her issues or concerns seriously enough.

Maybe even making Cleo feel irrational or paranoid whenever she did try to vent, or complain, or look for reassurance or comfort…

I don’t know. The image I have of Cleo’s mother is of a white woman who looked at her obviously mixed daughter and said things like “not everyone is racist, honey, they’re just kids saying stuff to get under your skin, you’re being too sensitive,” even if Cleo had just come home from school crying because kids had been sticking things in her hair and calling her slurs.

Cleo often feels very defensive, and what we know about her really does not suggest to me that she had a childhood where her emotions and concerns were particularly validated or supported.

[er-the-surgeon]

The fact that the writers could have so easily made Hobie and Miles rivals in a love triangle with Gwen, but instead made them bros with Miles talking about how cool Hobie is and Hobie joining the Miles Defense Squad fills my heart with joy