A little poem I wrote--
TW: depression, undertones of death and suicide, mentions of struggle with mental and physical health.
Please look past if you're struggling with the things mentioned above.
As I look up, the surface blinds me, Eyes heavy, tired and full of empty; Sorrow swivels its yarn around me, Binding my frame so tight I barely breathe.
Longing had made it's home so quietly, In my heart, that beats habitually.
Waves crashing against the shore, The warning signs of history; The sound that dies eventually Keeps me underneath, so I could see You, them, and everyone who told me— "Love comes easily."
Rather be the man I was destined to be, Than the one succumbing to destiny.
Limbs devoid of any strength; Must I pull with whatever remains of me? And if I do so, may I ask what and who for? As for me, I see myself reaching above barely, And do I even want to? Just stop by one last time to ask me nicely.
Thoughts floating around me so fiercely, Isn't it great, to know so much, yet go on mindlessly?
You must know flawless power, The happiness and content you must harbor, In your life, knowing what it's for; When you close your eyes before you sleep I bet it makes you think you'll want to be here forever, above of me.
Had I not lived long enough for your arrogance to see? Had I not given you all the lack of insolence you demanded of me?
Fear drives what doesn't shake, And that who does, feels the ground beneath, Trembling soul of one's lost sight, May never return, for it's own might, As for life, it is and had always been a blinding light.
End of the tunnel, what everyone believes, But you know me; know my insurgency.
You tell me to live, to go on with life, As you have known all my wrongs and rights; But living is so tough, my darling And death looks my way, but doesn't quite ever hug my being, Oh tell me how to pray, so I could finally escape.
Pray what I don't understand— I refuse to; You will never be what my soul seeks.
I cannot make you understand, Most certainly cannot make you see, This torture that I've been going through, All this suffering making it's home inside of me, Rotten flesh and melting bones; blood gone cold in the frame that won't hold.
World might stop spinning, they believe in your wrath. I will go against, say it's delusion and dismay.
Nature and nurture, both come equally flawed, No mind, no matter, no hope in heart, I come as I go— unwanted and in denial; Breathing is a curse, waking up for nothing is just as vile In the end, I tell you to look away; no love lost, between you and me.
You shall apologize, for what you did to me, You shall cry, for a child's innocence was lost so carelessly.
