he is your apprentice, your student, your padawan... and he’s blinding beautiful. both literally—he is very handsome—and figuratively. he shines in the force. like a star going supernova. he blinds most jedi, but not you. you love him for how scorching his light is.
he is your former padawan, you brother-in-arms, your fellow general, and your jedi mission partner... and you are an even greater team than you have ever been. he has grown into himself and his confidence. his swagger, which used to inspire irritation, is now charming. attractive, even. it suits him. you hate yourself for swooning exactly the same way the holonet does.
he is a jedi knight independent of you, and yet not separate. the two of you still orbit each other, like his apprenticeship never ended. like you were made to be partners. the force quite simply sings between you, even more loudly than ever before.
he is a married man, and soon to be a father. and there is no place in either of your lives for you to love him like this. to feel this low curl of jealousy when he holds her. when they hold each other. it is for the best that you never told him. it cannot, could never have been. but your heart pangs anyway, every time you watch him with her. you have no one to blame but yourself for your heartbreak.
he is your enemy, a murderer, a sith, a terrible creature of rage, a betrayer of all you hold dear... and yet you still love him. you still recognise him, cloaked in darkness, he is still blinding within the force. you still search his face, begging those eyes to turn blue once more. he chokes her into unconsciousness, and then he tries to do the same to you. a twisted, unvoiced confession of what you've always known. you think, perhaps if he'd known neither of you would be standing here, blade to blade. you tell him, at the end of things.
because there is nothing left to lose. not him certainly. he's already lost.