Holly is laying in a pool of vomit and what she’s trying not to think of as sewage when she decides that this is it; rock bottom. Somewhere in the back of her head, the thought floats in that she should be worried about someone finding her, but she’s pretty sure she maced some random guy that followed her already, and that kind of thing tends to spread.
The club music is still pounding, loud in her over-sensitive ears, even in the alleyway behind it. She isn’t sure what she took this time, something one of her friends handed her. It wiped her mind blissfully clean for a moment, free from all guilt and worry and little voices that never stopped, in the back of her head. The ones that asked when she was coming home, and why she’d left, and she rolls her head to the side with a groan. She can feel tears start to stream, but she knows it’s just the drugs. As much as she wants to quit right now, she knows it won’t hold. Making promises will only make her feel worse next time.
She opens her eyes again when something blocks out the neon lights that were shining through her eyelids. A man, tall and dark in a black suit that definitely didn’t fit the alleyway or the club. “Are you God?” She whispers, blaming the drugs. He smiles, and she stares at his teeth. They’re too sharp. “No, love. I’m Death.”
Her real rock bottom comes a month later though, with a mouthful of blood and her sire laughing behind her. Her world has been blood dens and parties for the past month, and she is immortal, and famous, and beautiful, and it’s all terrible. She still hates herself, and she knows none of the people she’s surrounded by actually care. It’s terrible.
The blood is fresh, but it tastes rotten, and the drugs stopped affecting her a week ago. Her sire explained that she would adapt to them more quickly, or something. She had stopped listening after two sentences, already working on trying out everything new.
She sinks to the floor, wiping at her chin with the back of her hand as she stares dully at the body in front of her. She misses home. She misses Kel. She misses her girls. She even misses Ella. She can’t go back though. She just can’t, and she crumples further to the floor, tears flowing.
