"Tell me what you want for Christmas" time is upon us, to the consternation of many an anticapitalist, environmentalist, and anticonsumerist champion.
Here are some of my approaches for practicing my values while being realistic that "I don't need anything" won't work:
Share (a few) things you DON'T want: when I lived in an apartment I said please no candles, and last year I had too many socks and asked family to avoid socks for me. It's simple and it prevents you getting a 17th mug!
Ask for experiences: depending on the person and their comfort with this type of request, you can go very broad ("I want you to give me an experience!") or very narrow ("I'd love it if you could babysit so I could go to the fiber festival on January 13th.")
Ask for homemade: not everyone can or wants to make things for their loved ones, but including a general mention that you would love something made by a friend can open up cool possibilities! You can also suggest replacing a gift exchange with a cookie exchange or similar; that worked in my family!
Ask for consumables: I find it's helpful to list categories (soap, spices, hair care, wine) and either exclude "tricky" categories or share your limitations simply (slave-free chocolate).
Ask for secondhand: I have a wishlist on thriftbooks.com I can share, and I frequently ask for something specifically secondhand, usually mentioning if I saw it on eBay or Poshmark or whatever.
Ask for small or ethical businesses: again, depending on the person, this can be as specific as sending a wishlist (e.g. bookshop.org) or as broad as "I would love something from a local small business."
Keep a list all year of stuff you want: this is great because it's a good outlet for consumption urges anyways, and every once in a while I'll revisit the list to discover that I really don't want the thing anymore. But if I do and we're nearing a gift season, I share it!
Don't feel obligated to keep gifts you don't want.
It can be easy to get a little miserly if the people in your life approach the holidays in a way that feels very transactional or shallow, but please do remember that gift-giving is an ancient and essential human bonding ritual. Black Friday deals and fast fashion make me rage, but the friend who gave me seeds from her garden and the ones who made my children blankets are forever cherished.
We all deserve to move toward a world where gifts serve relationships instead of filling landfills and the pockets of the rich. Try to get creative about what that looks like for you and your communities.