got so focused on how much Fog applied to oleander that I just got surprise clubbed over the head at Oh No That Applies To Me. specifically my difficulty keeping friends. I have a history of people silently leaving without explaining, or telling me what I did, and in general I struggle to maintain friendships. A lot of it is the autism I think, but not exclusively. I feel like in most (not all, but a lot) of my irl relationships I tend to reach out more, to try more. It’s one of the reasons I say i’m stray dog coded.
the “everyone I care for is an inconsistent variable” part is especially emotional for me. I never understand what I did wrong, why I wasn’t likable enough, why almost everyone drifted away or cut me off quietly or just stopped responding without ever telling me why.











