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got so focused on how much Fog applied to oleander that I just got surprise clubbed over the head at Oh No That Applies To Me. specifically my difficulty keeping friends. I have a history of people silently leaving without explaining, or telling me what I did, and in general I struggle to maintain friendships. A lot of it is the autism I think, but not exclusively. I feel like in most (not all, but a lot) of my irl relationships I tend to reach out more, to try more. It’s one of the reasons I say i’m stray dog coded.

the “everyone I care for is an inconsistent variable” part is especially emotional for me. I never understand what I did wrong, why I wasn’t likable enough, why almost everyone drifted away or cut me off quietly or just stopped responding without ever telling me why.

Body update: it turns out that after about a year (ish) of trying to eat more healthily and avoiding fast food, my body cannot handle some of the meals I used to enjoy anymore

I had a burger last week at DND and was sick, and I thought it was bc the burger particularly greasy, but then when I ordered from my usual place today (less horrendously greasy but still, you know, a fast food burger) I actually kinda stopped enjoying it three bites in and had to put in some effort to finish it x)

Oh well

#In other news: couldn't do 2x20mn of walking yesterday cause I had to drive to the post office #and driving a motobike is demanding on the knees #but I did one turn today and everything seems fine #gonna do another set later and see how it goes #and if we can keep that up until next week I'll try and see if we can up it to 1x30mn and 1x20mn #The goal being to be able to walk for at least 40mn at a time before I try going to the gym again #at which point I'll use the running machines to try and walk on a gradually increasing incline #... at this point it might actually be a good idea to see a physio #but I don't like the one I visited before -_-#Edit: other posotive effect of better food and regular exercise: I lost about 4kg since dec. 2022 and am now back around 95 #which is much more comfortable for me than where I was before #would I complain about going down to 90kg? no #but I'm 34 and planning on having a baby soon so that doesn't sound likely #especially bc like #diets are a myth #and if my body's ideal weight were 100kg that's where I'd be regardless of diet #so we'll see how that goes #I'm fine with where I'm at rn #Sparkle life #Home stuff

i like komi cant communicate so far but god damn i just hate that weird trope where everyone treats the main character like shit everyones like calling todano trash and ??? like in sailor moon how everyone bullies usagi because shes just . existing like holy hell it infuriates me

#especially bc like #they never do anything to warrant that

I feel so uncomfortable with conventions, especially with the druck cast... a lot of them are much younger than the other actors, and... I just don't want them to be exposed to that? In a way, I just want to see the characters, not the actors. I've always been very wary of celebrity culture :/

yeah hard same i don’t really like them in general but i’m even more protective over the druck cast since they’re young i just ... don’t like it lmao #rip

#especially bc like #convention content gets so obsessed over by fandom #often way more than actual show canon #and i'd much rather people analyse show content to death than do that with a single quote an actor said when they were put on the spot u fe #ugh #whoever agreed to go: ur on my shitlist for the next 24 hours lmao #anonymous #ask

*Pokes me head out of hiatus land*

Unpopular opinion but fanon hades and fanon persephone are boring and overrated. Fight me on this, I dare you.

#ooc #i don't even care anymore #I hate what the fandom did to them #they're so boring and it irritates #especially bc like #god forbid you follow the CANON myth #hades kidnapped persephone #they have cheated on each other #stop painting them as the perfect couple #they're not #ans stop turning them into boring 2d characters so you can put them on a pedestal while shitting on the rest of the gods

Do you have a particular example ? I swear this also happened to me this week and then I get frustrated with myself about how much I care lol.

.............tbh i do not have an example that i am willing to use to out myself as Unhinged about objectively unimportant things lmao. but i relate 1000000% like!!!! why does it even matter. tbh i think it really bothers me most whenever it's a situation where it feels like that person is going around repeating something that is not even true and then OTHER people are going to possibly just never know otherwise!!!!! which sucks obviously but like. combatting that would be an uphill battle especially when a) it's genuinely such a trivial thing in the first place b) Internet Large and c) idk probably 99.999999% of these people don't even care that much lmao. but it just annoys me despite all logic

#there is one specific person who does this ALL THE TIME in a way that just truly baffles me #especially bc like #okay on one (1) specific topic i personally have like.......blatantly demonstrated to her that she is wrong lol #like. this is not a matter of opinion ur just objectively wrong. w irrefutable evidence.#and this was a friendly and seemingly normal exchange after which u would think well :-) glad we straightened that out.#but even AFTER this she has still gone around repeating the same incorrect (mis)information as if nothing ever happened #it is so bizarre to me bc it rlly comes off like ???????#someone knowingly choosing to spread rumors that arent even like????? to their advantage?????#like truly WHAT is ur angle.............#why would u do this.#she does this same thing w multiple different tangentially related topics but she kind of keeps to a theme #but anyway i have been trying to figure out what her deal is for like. literal years #NOT that this is the only time this sort of thing comes up for me lmao sadly......this is just the best i can do for an example #wow i love unhinged and vague ranting #anon

Feels weird to stare down the barrel of a trump presidency now, livinv 3 hours away from the american border and having people i love dearly living down there

#feels worse #especially bc like #we know how it went last tine

S2 Masha: dripless, their only swag was that they could read tarot cards

S3 Masha: DRIPFULL, WITH THE NONBINEY SWAG

#i genuinely did not care abt masha at all until s3 dropped #especially bc like #they look like they aged three years between seasons #and they glowed up so fucking hard bc of it #toh #toh masha

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