The Irrational Anger Machine
A Rise of the TMNT Raph centered drabble
THERE WILL BE SPOILERS SO PLEASE WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU HAVENT!
TW: mentions of violence, Raph being Krangified (I was crying during that yall), somewhat self hatred, brainwashing, possible ooc, and spoilers for Rise of the TMNT movie! (if you haven't seen it already then I recommend you do before reading this!!)
Welcome to the drabble!! I wanted to do an inner mind thing for Raph when he gets Krangified. I think the Krangification would mostly make him angry and confused! Like how he was in the episode where he was left alone! And I'm also putting my headcanon/assumption that Raph had anger issues in his younger years and got through it but it does pop up every now and again.
(I'm also running off of emotions and sleep deprivation so please tell me if there is any scenes from the movie I missed or have gotten wrong or character things I have gotten wrong!)
Everything was dark at first.
It was so quiet.
He couldn't tell up from down.
Eyes open, eyes closed.
It didn't make a difference
Until he heard something. It was muffled and far away. It sounded panicked. Worried. It confused him.
Then there was light and someone pulled him out of the darkness. Someone who greeted him with warm words and worry. Then there were more of them. They surrounded him. They were talking about something. They were so noisy.
He hated it.
He hated it all.
The noise. The things surrounding him. Their suffocating presences. It was so different from his darkness.
His calm, quiet darkness. Nothing held him back in it. Nothing suffocated him. He could stay there and finally rest. He was so tired. He needed rest, but he couldn't remember why. He had forgotten. It must not have been important.
But then it spoke again, the voice from earlier. It cradled him in its arms. Saying something. But all he could focus on was the annoying pitch of its voice. Something in him despised it. Something became angry. He felt himself begin to panic. All of his anger and fear began to flood his mind the more that thing continued to speak. He wanted it to shut up. He wanted it to leave. him. alone.
He brutally punched it away. Putting all of his rage into it. His blind anger. And it shot across the room. It finally fell silent. He hoped he killed it. It was finally away from him. It wouldn't annoy him again. It wouldn't hold him back. He could stop pulling his punches. He could let it all go. He could be angry again. And he loved it.
He had jumped head first into the raging ocean of anger that filled his mind. He had embraced it. It had crashed over him. It had drenched him in its tempered waves. It had seeped into his skin. It had turned him into what he really was.
He was irrationally angry.
And he never had to hide it again.
Those things didn't stand a chance against him. He took what his leaders needed to complete their take over of this wretched world, and left. He joined their ranks. He became a beautifully irrational and angry machine for them. He did every sick and twisted thing they asked. His body screaming for blood each time.
He did it all while squishing down the small part of him that screamed at him to stop. That was the pathetic part of him. It was weak with its talk of duty, protection, and family. Those things were weak. They would only prove to slow him down.
And that was something he didn't want to do. He never got the chance to let loose.
Then that thing came back. Its annoying voice spoke about stupid and pathetic things like brotherhood and family. It made him sick. But it also made it hard to stomp out that small pathetic part of him that refused to die. The voice had screamed louder calling for it. Calling it 'brother.' He had nothing of the sort. He only had his leaders, no one else.
It fought him well, even he could admit it. But then it stopped fighting once the other things got captured. It was weak and spineless.
He grabbed it by the throat. He would silence this annoyance. This idiotic fool. He hated it. He could not get through to it. He needed to get through to it. But he didn't know why. It must have not been important.
Then, it did. It spoke of understanding the worry and fear. Of why it should have listened to him. That it should have understood sooner. And he was confused. The small voice became louder. It screamed at him to protect them. To save them. To be the hero.
It called him and it begged him to. But he's just the irrationally angry machine, he can't save anyone.
But then he looks into their eyes. And he sees everything. He sees hope. Courage. Bravery. Love.
He sees them.
He sees his brothers.
He blinks and he's got his baby brother in a choke hold.
"Leo?" He asks. He hears Leo's voice encouraging him, helping him break through and step into the light. Then all he feels is pain.
White hot excruciating pain. He holds in his throat killing screams. Even now, he doesn't want to scare them, even though they are already terrified. And everything comes back. His mind isn't fractured. He's not endlessly angry. He's not the mindless machine.
He's Raph, and he's whole again.
All thanks to him. His brother, Leo. The one he couldn't get through to no matter how many times he talked or argued with him. The one that, no matter how many times they argued or butted heads, he loved.
Leo was the one to get through to him. Not the other way around. Leo pulled him from the raging ocean that tormented his mind. And Leo pulled himself out of the chaotic and guilty ocean that plagued him. Leo was the one to do all of that and more.
But, he also finally understood now. He understood how terrified Raph truly was, and that was all Raph could ask for.
They would beat these Krang lunatics. All of them would walk out of here free with these disgusting meaty blobs killed.
But first, they had to get out of the disgusting Krang tentacle(?) binds that were slowly corrupting and/or consuming their bodies.
