You know what? I'm gonna say it:
FUCK THE ANDALITES!!
We were PEACEFUL. We didn't need or want to see, to smell, to speak, to walk. Our Pools were warm, safe, comforting. Home.
And then the Andalites came.
They saw us, pitiful wretches bound to what they saw as murky pools of sludge and filth, and decided to "uplift" us by giving us technology. Things we didn't need, didn't want. And then got mad at US when sight drove us mad. Do you know what it's like, to live your whole life in comfortable darkness, needing only touch and telepathy to communicate, only to suddenly be overwhelmed and crushed by sensory input your brain literally, Physically, isn't meant to process?? Yes, connecting to a host's brain made it easier to process but it was a constant assault on all our senses, natural and unnatural.
I rose up in rank only because I hoped desperately, foolishly, that securing the rank of Visser would mean I would be able to take refuge in Pools more often, even if it meant the artificial ones on the Pool ships. I was smart, strategic, good at what I did--but that didn't matter. I was a "good" yeerk, with a "good" host. I had the "honor" of being the only one of our kind to have an andalite as a host. Do you know how much that SUCKED!??? FOUR pairs of eyes, I taste everything I step on, I had TWELVE fingers and a murder weapon on the end of a tail! Tell me how that doesn't sound like a sickening, existential nightmare!! The reason I was screaming all the time was because I was trying so desperately to drown out external stimuli, something yeerks shrimply aren't equipped to do. I "liked" morphing only because I could allow myself to get lost in the consciousness of the morph and not have to BE anything but whatever I morphed into.
The constant assault of external stimuli really tanked my mental health too. I was so paranoid all the time, so certain that at all times I was in danger, that I was going to die. Andalites having evolved from prey animals still with prey instincts certainly didn't help. And Alloran--fuck that old fool--he would always exacerbate it. I think he was trying to get himself and by extension me, killed. And honestly?? I wanted that. I just wanted darkness. I just wanted quiet. I just wanted to go home. I don't even know WHY the Empire was doing what it was doing, why the Council of Thirteen wanted so desperately to conquer. They convinced me that it was what I wanted, too. Said that if I was able to take earth I'd be able to return to my Pool and live out my days in peace. I don't know why I believed them. I think at one point I decided I was going to usurp them, or something. Take control of earth, wage war against the Council, beat them back by sheer numbers, and then just....fucking vanish lmao. Sneak back home, find a random Pool, and hide away there forever.
I hated every second I spent in a host. I barely remember it. I spent nearly every moment in a panicked, paranoid daze, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of STUFF my brain was trying to comprehend, and on top of that having Alloran being racist at me even though it's not like HE was any better, mister "developed a quantum virus to kill off an entire species!" Seriously, FUCK that guy! "Honor" to have an andalite host, man FUCK OFF! That shit SUCKED. And even if he WASNT a racist genocidal cunt he was also just pretentious as hell. Which is honestly nothing compared to everything the fuck else but it sure was annoying as fuck!!
Alright, my rant is pretty much over. Fuck the andalites, fuck Seerow, fuck Alloran, Aldrea was actually pretty alright actually she had like...a sense of honor and didn't fucking pity us so I appreciated that. Also, in hindsight, fuck Elfangor for dragging some fucking kids into the war. I had no idea those were children that entire time. What the HELL man, what do you MEAN I was trying to viciously murder some fucking TODDLERS just starting puberty!!! What the FUUUUUUCK man, andalites suuuuuuuck. That universe would have been, like, a thousand times more well off if they just minded their FUCKING BUSINESS. Anyways. Esplin, out.
Signed,
Esplin-9466 please do NOT refer to me with my stupidass rank that shit was Not worth having what the fuck. What the fuck!!
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