#espurr-ing

[dtlk]

how similar are your introjects to their sources, generally? ours tend to be pretty far removed (or not recognizable as their source at all), but i tend to see people online that are exactly The Character with exomemories etc, so im curious where you guys fall

there is a slight wrench thrown into this question because so many of our alters are vocaloids which do not have a canon. LOL

that being said generally speaking we tend to be pretty far removed. i mean i'm a liko introject and i don't think liko talks or acts like this. i will say that some of our older alters from when i was a teen are more likely to behave somewhat more like their source (or at least the fanon we liked for the vocaloids) just because they split during a time where we thought the DID was a religious thing and that our alters were actually past life selves possessing me or whatever. none of us believe that anymore, obviously, but yknow you live multiple years acting one way, it just keeps going. i still wouldn't call them particularly 1 to 1 however

as for pseudomemories (sorry that's my preferred term) we used to have them a lot back during The Religious Era but now we almost have none of them. i think hime and mikoto loosely hold onto theirs from back in the day but there's a layer of awareness of them being metaphorical and not real and the traumatic happenings in those pseudomemories don't affect them like trauma anymore. it's kind of just, a metaphorical structure to view themselves through? idk how to explain it

i do believe that at least some people with DID must have alters that are consistently very close to their source but tbh sometimes i worry when i see people (especially teens) still acting overtly like that online, not bc i'm thinking "ew fakers" (i never think that about anyone, it's not productive) but moreso because from personal experience i think a lot of that usually ends up being from a social pressure to behave correctly for others to be accepted and like. i promise to anyone reading this it's okay to have introjects that don't resemble their source at all. or who change over time and resemble source less and less. it's also fine if they resemble source a lot! and it's okay to have pseudo/exomemories or whatever! but like. there is no one way to be. do what comes natural for You

[digitaldreams0801]

DID magic girl 👀?

yep! i talked about it a little bit here, but tldr: i am working on a magical girl series about someone with DID! a seemingly normal young woman finds out that she has alters and not only that but her main alter is actually a magical girl who has been saving the city from an unknown danger. so the story is about them developing their relationship with one another and then working together to save the world and each other. it's still a work in progress, but i have been working on it on the down low for a while. current title for the series is "Help! My Alter is a Magical Girl!" and i'm hoping to release the first part of the trilogy in the back half of 2027 (though this is subject to change, and i am still working on it obviously). when it does come out, it'll be over on my page for my self-published author stuff @crescentzephyr, and i'll also obviously announce it here. so yeah! details pending, but hopefully that'll be a thing before the end of next year!

[kafus]

you mentioned in a previous ask that kiki and ayano’s identities have changed over time (different “versions” of them i think?) and im wondering how you cope with that? while some of our alters are pretty static or only change during big restructuring phases, some (including myself) seem to be constantly shifting and changing, and it can make it difficult and frustrating to get to “know” those parts at all. its made me hesitant to do things like represent us in art because an accurate depiction one day might be completely wrong the next day

i wish i had a good answer for this but idk it just kinda doesn't bother me. i mean okay when i have major host changes the dissociation and all that bothers me, but being aware that i am inconsistent as a person in terms of my social identity doesn't bother me

i think there's a really unhealthy expectation brought on by internet/media portrayals of DID where alters should be really clear cut people that have strong immutable characteristics like singlets do and the sooner we all realize that's full of bullshit the better. i mean sure, some people do have alters that present that way, but that doesn't mean everyone does or should, plus there is a discussion to be had about how much of that is people forcing themselves to present as more distinct than they actually are because of this social expectation. and i say this as someone with some very distinct and elaborated alters. but i digress

my point is like, if you or others are constantly shifting and changing, that's fine. whoever you are that day is still you, even if it's different from yesterday. not being more static is fine, actually. this also applies to representing yourselves in art (which is something i've also struggled with in similar fashion before), if you feel like you are constantly shifting and changing, then art of you constantly shifting and changing is an accurate depiction of you, and that's fine!! perhaps there is even something artistic there in its own right!!

idk tldr be free, dealing with the dissociation as it comes sucks of course and having a stable identity is nice for some reasons but if that's not you right now or ever that's fine. take it as it comes. you are who you are. or something

[ex-riddlecats]

your list of cartoons that pissed you off as a child is so interesting to me bc i also refused to watch most of those shows but it’s bc they inspired a paralyzing fear in me for reasons i will likely never understand

i understand. its because spongebob is scary

[sycamorality]

i know people say this all the time but im constantly impressed by just how annoying people are on your posts and in your inbox. is it the minecraft that makes people turn their brains off on your blog????

oh this was a thing far before i got into mcsr and started posting mc stuff here. people are just always stupid. i'm sure i could dig up other stupid asks i've been sent. one time someone tried to drag me into a stupid drama situation to get me to talk about it "because you're a popular rain world artist so you should bring awareness to it!"

[dtlk]

do you guys tend to have one person fronting at a time, or do you front in groups?

we have a pretty even mix between fronting solo and cofronting in pairs (and often the same pairs because a lot of our alters are “paired” together), but any more than 2 alters at a time is pretty unusual/chaotic. i’m a bit of an edge case because i’m host and can cofront with pretty much anyone but cofronting with sakiko or ayano is most common for me

this has a funny effect sometimes ie. when eruna and yukari cofront because our voices can be so different. eruna will say one thing and then yukari speaks right afterwards and our voice drops multiple octaves in an instant lol

[dtlk]

your cpk posting convinced me and all i can say is oh my god. i get it. i love these girls so much

YESSSSSS WE GOT EM /silly

i'm glad you enjoyed it :D

[dtlk]

OK I DID SOME DIGGING and found the oooold art of my zorua system oc plus my original rambles about them. this is subject to change obviously but the basic story is that there was a group of wealthy people who really wanted to make pokemon/human hybrids to keep as exotic/luxury pets. they tried a few different ways to do it using zorua because of its shapeshifting abilities, which is how they got the zorua system. they essentially took a young zorua and trained it to present as a human child. their system has four primary alters (though theres definitely more): shadow is the host, he usually looks like a 6 year old boy but occasionally gets zorua traits when hes stressed. he’s mostly nonspeaking, and has limited trauma memories. zorua is a regular zorua, it cant shift its body much at all and has some memories of being a pet, so its very physically defensive and tends to bite. lily of the valley (or just lily) often presents as shadow, but she has the most control of their shapeshifting. she’s the most obviously traumatized of them and holds a lot of their trauma, and shes prone to hallucinations, lashing out at people, and self harm. the last one isnt in the picture but its zeke (Z.K.), an introject of one of the other kids in the experiments that shadow had a hero worship complex about. zeke is a little bit older, and he’s the only one that knows about and can communicate with the rest of the system. he’s usually trying to keep everyone else “in line” by imposing strict rules and punishments on them (he definitely has OCD as well). after shadow escapes he gets taken in by a family with a kid his age who finds him in the wild, and they dont know he’s a zorua until much later. he forms a close bond with his older adoptive sibling grey, who’s a 20 year old elite trainer that just returned home from her journey!

zeke is also the other oc i have, though she transitions post-escape and goes by izzy! unlike shadow, she was a human child that was experimented on to see if they could transform her into a zorua by surgically replacing parts of her body with zorua parts. they were only partially successful- she ends up with one zorua ear, a tail, and some fur/markings. she also had a failed surgery on one eye that resulted in complete loss of the eye and a lot of visible scarring. aside from that her surgeries were generally considered successful, and the main problem was that she became “feral” as the scientists described her. she was aggressive and difficult to work with largely because of pain and trauma. eventually the scientists decide she won’t be able to be a pet and theyre losing money, so they sell her to someone who wants to turn her into an idol. she becomes popular because of her zorua traits, eventually collaborating with an idol group that ends up freeing her from her abusive manager (and helping her transition!)

oh that got SO long oh my god. anyways im definitely going to do better drawings of them all and flesh them out more but theyre very dear to me!

omfg i have to draw zeke and vee as friends they'd be such good friends LOL

THIS CONCEPT IS SO COOL!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! ROARS

this all does beg the question of what their end goal was had the experiments succeeded though. like the zorua that was trained to present as a human child, was the idea that it could be a pet but also serve the owner doing tasks around the home? :0 when they genetically modified zeke, was it with the intention that she could be a more intelligent zorua?

god i so love zeke, being able to reclaim her life and her identity and even successfully transition via the love and care of her idol friends in defiance of yet another abuser is sooo. IT'S SOO... I LOVE IT SM. and a trainer bonding with a pokemon that presents as a sort of human sometimes is so fascinating and i want to know more. literally they're so cool thank u for showing me and telling me more details