content: rated g, sally/esther/bridget, post season 2 finale, lots of conversations about Feelings and lots of gay bullshit
masterpost
A disembodied voice booms, making Sally jump. “Welcome to the Dating Game!” The announcement is quickly followed by uproarious applause.
The what? Sally thinks. And why does that voice sound like Wyatt’s? Looking around, she realizes she’s sitting on a brightly colored stage, facing a live studio audience. To her left, Bridget smiles and waves at the crowd. To her right, there is a small table littered with index cards, and on the other side of it, Esther. Also, Jack Wyatt is there. And he happens to be sporting a truly hideous white suit and holding a long, thin mic.
Sally attempts to telepathically message Esther as quickly and as loudly as she can: MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME ESTHER; PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING, but Esther is oblivious to her call for help, and waves at the audience too.
“Fuck it,” Sally mumbles, and hams it up for the crowd. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here, but she might as well enjoy herself.
part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops
all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post.
click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!
point-of-exile, CO
modern day, 20[fuck]
bill donovan is the principal of the only high school around for miles
june and helen are dating each other as well as their boyfriends, they and quentin and anthony have a poly arrangement that they're all really happy with
also, sally and anthony are really Not dating, but also they're not exactly Not Dating, either. mostly, they're best friends.
everyone at school is slightly bemused by the gang because so many of them are dating each other (in both assorted pairs AND poly chains) and those that aren't are often so close that it's hard to tell anyway
theatre kids: why the fuck is the science department queerer than we are
height order from shortest to tallest: esther, sally, jack, bridget, penny, quentin, helen, anthony, june
sally skipped a grade and is the same age as the juniors
esther and bridget are out to everyone in the science kid gang and esther’s sort of out at school
sally's completely out to the gang and most of school by senior year. she’s ace as hell and definitely some kind of aromantic
sally had a really awkward coming out that probably involved terrible puns
june and quentin are both bi and out (june is out to everyone except her parents)
quentin is a demiguy and mostly goes by he/him but sometimes uses they and ze
jack is trans
helen is trans (and loosely bi, if she had to pick a label for that aspect of her identity)
anthony’s pan
penny is demiromantic and demisexual
helen and june are the mom and dad friends
bridget actually calls them mom and dad
the three of them go get sandwiches at the coffee shop where penny works
and the four of them have a “our dates are nerds and we’re suffering” bond
they call themselves “the girlfriend gang”
everyone agrees the following is true:
helen: god
june: the devil
bridget: an angel
penny: a demigod
helen for student body president
anthony works part time at the post office. he gets very bored. sometimes the gang goes to bother him and he makes faces at them through the slots when they open the mailboxes
june works in retail, even though her parents are kind of rich. they wanted her to get the life experience. if you’ve ever worked retail you understand why she’s always angry
bridget volunteers at the library
she’s friends with all of the old lady librarians
they give her advice when she wants to plan cute dates with esther
and they all share book recommendations
and geek out while they shelve
sally works at the ice cream shop
always gets in trouble for trying to identify the flavor formulas
gives everyone discounts
most likely to get in trouble for her hair being uncontainable
lots more under the readmore!
fitness pacer test
esther gets out of it by faking an injury
bridget does the minimum +2 laps bc she's extra
june and quentin KICK ASS bc theyre on track and go running together
sally is sprawled across the finish line
anthony cuts in line for chicken nuggets
it's like the vine, he's like
so i’m sitting there
bbq sauce on my tiddies
sally’s on the floor, dying laughing
sally wears a onesie on pj day
senior prank, somehow engineered to mess with JUST THE JUNIORS
petra does backflips at pep rallies
quentin actually pays attention in class
bridget talks A LOT in english (to the point where she’s now trying not to talk for fear of taking over the conversation) and a little in history and that’s it
esther participates a lot in almost every class but she’s frankly frightening in the sciences
jack has trouble staying focused but he’s doing his best, usually he’s okay if he brings something to fidget with
anthony is A GOOF
however, he does get suspended
for cleaning principal donovan's clock if you catch my drift
he punched him. i mean he punched him.
in the throat.
he's grounded too and everyone can't write or text or communicate with him, so they refer to this period as his time in The Punishment Cube
sally finds a way to chat tho
because she's sally
donovan quits after this.
he cannot fucking handle these weirdos.
bye bitch
sally’s only talkative in her special interest classes, otherwise she’s pretty quiet
ESTHER AND JACK BEING OBNOXIOUS IN SCIENCE CLASSES TOGETHER
they squabble constantly
the teachers spend a whole month figuring out how to make sure they don’t have classes together (oh, god, not Them)
but esther’s in the wrong math, has to get her schedule changed, ends up in ap physics 2 with jack
magic SCHOOL BUS
the gang meets up every now and then for magic school bus marathons
with breaks for watching cosmos or bill nye
anthony tried to play the theme on the tuba once
it went very badly
cards club
esther’s the president
jack’s the only other member
they meet once a week and just play dilemma together
if you get jack and esther to work together it’s fucking eerie
they don’t need to ask each other for stuff they just know what the other one needs
the only thing more terrifying than the two of them going after each other is the two of them going after someone else
maggie the mouse girl let all of the lab rats out
somehow helen is in band, orchestra, and choir
she plays clarinet and string bass mostly, but it doesn’t take her long to pick up something new
one year they all did their arts cred at the same time
bridget on bassoon, and she’s damn good
sally was in percussion and had way too much fun with the cymbals
anthony should have been in percussion but he played TUBA
quentin did cello
june and esther play viola, they have an ongoing rivalry for the first chair (esther’s losing!)
carmen is absolutely the principal first violin and she’s a freshman and everyone is just resigned to the fact that she’s better than all of them
sally and anthony share an “i went to smart kid camp” shirt
it’s huge on sally, who is a twig. she wears it cinched with a hair tie
part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops
all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today as well all three aforementioned dorks are neurodivergent folks writing about neurodivergent folks.
click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!
ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.
attention: all contents incredibly neurodivergent
everyone shares those fidget cubes
collectively they have like five
in so many colors
esther also designs a giant version that’s like. the size of a KEYBOARD and with lots more options and Bigger
jack builds it
they call it the stimboard deluxe
anthony has nintendo
sally brings him all her childhood games and watches him hyperfocus
sally and anthony were the first autistic friend each other had and they love sharing weird stuff from their childhoods that nobody else liked
they have a lot of overlap of interests and they spent so long without anyone like them who really got them
and they both feel so safe and loved not only with each other but with the whole gang because everyone’s neurodiv af even if they’re not sure in exactly what way
anthony brings notes everywhere
scribble scribble
Doing The Right Thing, Doing Science For Good is sort of his ruling philosophy
a lot of times it’s really easy to lead him down the wrong path if he thinks it’s Science For Good
he has some problems with gullibility
the pressure stimming is too real
PRESSURE! STIM! HUGS!
Big Coats or Lab Coats
fiddling with his glasses
he’s bad at artistic/creative things and just doesn’t get it. he can follow a pattern tho,
polish patterns work for him, especially with tape. he likes taking care of his nails because he’s v tactile, he likes the smooth feeling of the polish and likes tapping his nails
he either gets really anxious or angry about Bad things
breakdowns, breaking things, and weirdly quick recoveries
he could hug people for hours
he usually does if he’s had a panic attack, but other than that acts like he’s fine
canon says sally eats weird and has a disturbing appetite so like,
sally separating EVERY SINGLE FOOD by group and flavor and texture and then like putting one piece of one in her mouth at a time and keeps TALKING CAUSE SHE’S A DORK
other options:
SHREDS EVERYTHING AND EATS IT WITH A STRAW
eats only EXACTLY one quarter of anything at a time and forgets the rest
uses her hands for THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT
burnt things
she love the Cronch
puts things together that should not even touch
jack cries the day he sees her dip pickles in whipped cream and shove a fistful of blue cheese blissfully into her mouth immediately after that
stims by tinkering and uses voice recordings for vocal stims, plays with her hair and bites her nails, spinning, dancing, tapping tools
hands on everything
the dancing is so bad and uses her full body (it’s actually so cute)
is a bad driver bc she either hyperfocuses on the road or she starts TALKING and gets lost in anything BUT driving
sally wears her lab coat everywhere
she plays with the seams, runs the fabric between her fingers, tugs on the corners of it to create pressure on her shoulders
sometimes she spins in a circle just to let the fabric flap behind her like a cape
tags on clothing are EVIL
she takes them out with a seam ripper till there’s no traces
sallys clothes are always a little large and odd bc if they’re not comfy she Dies
no really she’ll end up in a ball somewhere crying because of sensory grossness
she has serious sensory processing issues
sometimes it’s really a Drag but she loves fiddling with things so much and it feels so good and she wouldn’t give it up for the world
she has a watch that sometimes she’ll make clicking noises along with the tick tick tick tick
lots more under the readmore!
sally is the queen of weighted blankets
she always has one readily accessible in case she needs to wrap up in it
the gang Knows this and they’re always asking her to borrow one
like one time esther texts sally like “help me im having sensory issues and i need hugs”
and sally turns up with not one but TWO heavy blankets
(she may have fallen over once or twice trying to carry both of them)
(just these two lil scurrying feet on skinny legs goin patpatpatpat supporting this huge bundle of extra-weighted bedding floating down the hall)
she wraps esther in them and then squeezes her, too
for good measure, sally gets up on her tippie toes and rests her chin on esther’s head
esther, muffled: “i am a burrito now”
sally: “a precious tiny gay burrito”
or, estherrito
bridget puts her in her phone contacts as ‘ettie burrito’
and sally in turn puts her in hers as ‘questherdilla’
also oh my god when will she Stop doing fingerguns with accompanying tongue clicks
sally talks to herself
she has a little wee tape recorder named Diane because Diane
its covered in stickers
she likes to record what she’s doing to organize herself and calm down
and she’ll replay them to process things
sometimes her friends will leave happy messages on there for her
or helen will sing her a little ditty
helen is the world’s best audio stim
her voice is just really soothing
she’ll sing absently and everyone just operates more smoothly for that minute
she likes singing for herself too
humming and tapping her instrument is a soothing habit
helen is very audio/vocal
she likes to play the same song over and over again
bridget has some issues with self image
she also has obsessive tendencies, sometimes related to organization and labeling things
but also related to literature and only being able to talk about whatever she’s into
sometimes it’s easier to quote things from her favorite books instead of replying in her own words
she doesn’t like things that are uneven or unbalanced
objects OR concepts that are unfair or unequal
(except her hair. her hair is badass and she’s okay with that kind of disunity)
esther’s adhd and her big stims are
high heel clicks on the floor when she walks
fancy & feminine clothes that make her feel secure
the ritual of putting on her makeup
pencils (tapping or twirling)
HER RINGS, she has three and she spins spins spins
she likes to rub the shaved side of bridget’s head
and run her fingers through the hair on the other side
she ALWAYS has her father’s old deck of cards with her, she’s shuffled them so many times they’re completely worn down, and no one is allowed to touch them but her
they’re very soft, she has a new pack as well for crisper sound/feeling and everyday use
sometimes she uses card games as lens to make sense of the world
she has a rough time with communication and a rough time with empathy but she’s trying to work on both of those
both come easier with people she’s close to and bridget is helping her some too
it’s easy for her to hyperfocus in class and doing homework, so it took them a while to diagnose her
out of all of them, esther is the best at reminding people to be organized and do self-care (tho she doesn’t always take care of herself)
she spends a lot of her time in her own head, she really values alone time, and she needs to recharge after she spends time around people
even people she loves
jack’s also adhd, had been diagnosed for a while and has almost all of the opposite symptoms as esther (which is another one of the reasons it took them so long to figure out esther)
jack always works better after he moves, if he runs a little or bounces a ball around or is shaking his legs, rocking on his heels
he makes lots of rolling rrr sounds and blows his lips when he’s frustrated
the pencil chewing ended in splinters and the pen chewing ended in ink all over so now he has a little necklace with a chewable shark
the sharks name is Fredrico
his binder is actually kinda helpful because it’s pressure
he screws and unscrews things a lot
actually taking apart and putting back together all machinery is a Big Thing
june is dyslexic
she has cute tinted glasses to help her with studying
sometimes helen reads stuff out loud for her, she doesn’t mind but june hates to ask
for her birthday quentin bought her a five sided highlighter to color code different things
she has some emotional processing issues
it’s easier to feel angry than anything else
& her methods of dealing with anger aren’t super healthy either
quentin is the only one who actually can manage himself
Quentin is a Hydrated Boy
(he has great skin)
quentin always comes across as super chill but that’s actually because he has hella anxiety and works really hard to manage it
penny is autistic and if june and helen are the dad and mom friends and esther is the gay cousin
then sally and anthony are the autistic aunt and uncle who adopt penny as their niece
they can spot one of their own from a mile off and just decided We Gonna Take Her Under Our Big Fluffy Damn Wings
penny is the Flappiest Autistic
big happy arm flaps, upset little hand flaps, her fast excited flaps are literally the best and most joyous thing
she’s always been kinda embarrassed and insecure about it but jack is so supportive
he’s only a moderate flapper but he often flaps with her when she does it
and he calls her his butterfly
this melts her heart and makes her feel happy and not weird and when this happens she is prone to flapping even harder
she calls him her moth
they’re precious fluttery darlings
sometimes when they both get going, sally joins in too and they all spin around the room fluttering in a big flappy tornado
content: rated g, sally/esther/bridget, post season 2 finale, lots of conversations about Feelings and lots of gay bullshit
masterpost
When Esther wakes up, Bridget and Sally are sitting in chairs on either side of her bed. She’s not sure how she got to her bed, exactly, but this is not an arrangement she’d ever complain about. She blinks, befuddled. Bridget takes her hand and squeezes it and Sally leans in close.
Esther stares at them both for a moment before saying, “Hey...am I...in heaven?”
Bridget chuckles and shakes her head. “Last I checked, we’re still stuck in the same old reality we’ve been in. But you never know with your line of work.”
“If heaven is where Whickman is, maybe I’ll just volunteer for hell,” Sally drawls, and Bridget rolls her eyes.
This isn’t helping Esther at all. Neither of them have given her a suitable explanation. Also, she’s still a bit too tired to manage the onslaught of emotion she’s hit with, this infuriating combination of old and new loves together. So what she ends up asking, instead one of the thousands of potentially more important questions, is “Will someone tell me how the heck you two know each other?”
(last chapter! thanks for reading along everybody!)
fandom: ars paradoxica
content: rated g, sally/esther/bridget, post season 2 finale, lots of conversations about Feelings and lots of gay bullshit
masterpost
Esther’s feet feel like bricks, heavy and unwieldy. Her head is still pounding, and she’s dizzy with exhaustion from walking all over Point-of-Exile all day, but she’s got Bridget’s arm around her waist. That makes it more than worthwhile. She’s worried she’s leaning on her too much, but Bridget seems to be handling her okay, and Esther’s pretty sure her arms are much more toned than they once were. Maybe it’s from all the books she’s carried around. Esther finds this painfully attractive. As they approach the house, Esther stops, and tilts her chin up to kiss Bridget’s cheek.
Bridget at least has the decency to blush before demanding Esther hand over her keys, which… she does not have. She is, after all, still in her pajamas. Blushing herself, Esther knocks on the door.
Sally answers, the phone at her ear, its cord pulled tight from the holder in the kitchen. She looks at them, blinks, whispers, “Uh, gottagobye!” and runs back to hang up the phone. Bridget’s closed the door behind them by the time Sally returns, looking like she’s trying very hard to be cool by walking slowly.
“Hey!” Sally says with forced nonchalance. “How, uh, how are you guys?”
