Sometimes it’s ’I have always been this way hahaha yeah always one of the dudes’
’I consciously stop myself when I am experiencing happiness and I close my eyes. I beam some of that happiness back in time to that 15 or 12 or 17 year old self that only knew the word girl. And I tell her that yeah she’s gonna be okay, and I know that in my past when I didn’t know what kept me going that possibly, it was this future bit of happiness in the midst of all the confusion.’
And yeah in those moments it’s ‘she / her’ in the past tense and I’m protective of her past tense like a little sister I’ve been trauma bonded with. I would never let anything bad happen to her. I’d fight for her. She’s going through some shit in the past but I’m not now so of course I’m going to help her out if I can.
and it’s just like that sometimes.
Protect and love yourself because maybe that energy you’re sending back is the thing that kept you going in the past. Probably not really. But you’re here now. Who knows how. So. Why not right?
This post brought to you by Estlin drank and now they started thinking about how they used to sneak out just to drive off and park and look at the stars in the middle of nowhere and picture themselves as an ant compared to the vastness of space as a coping mechanism in order to survive sometimes. Yeah.
