Merrill merely introduced herself before leading the way. Both Orana and the armoured human stayed close beside her. I could hear them all speaking to one another but none of the conversation was directed my way.
I was surprisingly alright with that.
Abelas kept as close to me as they were to Merrill but he said nothing. I deliberately hung back so that I could at least try to talk to him.
“Abelas?” I questioned in ancient elvhen, keeping my voice low. “Care to explain how that happened?”
The fact that he had somehow managed to fall into a simple bandit's trap actually confused the ever loving fade out of me. He had led Mythal's sentinels and then assisted Solas in whatever capacity. A simple trap should not have held him.
“I was distracted.” He answered but did not meet my eyes when I looked at him.
“Distracted?” I almost laughed at that answer.
“I do not wish to discuss it.” His tone was like a scolded child's.
I just stared at him before pinching the bridge of my nose at the absurdity of this situation.
“And exactly how did you get caught?” I asked, unable to keep the irritation out of my voice. “Or better yet, who are our captives?”
“I have not seen anyone above.” Abelas completely ignored my first question.
Sighing, I turned back to the door to look it over but there was no signs of a keyhole on this side of the door. There were the same intricate looking carvings but nothing to hint at a complicated locking system.
“It is no use, ma tarlan,” Abelas said as he walked back to the other side of the room. “There is no method of opening it from this side of the door.”
Chapter 37
Ethara wakes and goes in search of Abelas. She unwillingly makes a new friend.
I came awake just as easily as I had fallen asleep and I thought perhaps it had just been a Dreamer's trance but the stiffness of my legs made it obvious that I had slept in my riding clothes.
Sighing, I got to my feet from the small cot and did my best to stretch those aching muscles.
I had no idea how long I had slept as there were no windows in this room. I reasoned it was for defensive purposes but it still made the room far darker then I liked.
Veil fire came unbidden to my hand as I stood. It was a simple instinctive reaction to the dark.
I could see well enough without it but I could not help but want the light. Even if it was green and merely the memory of fire, it was comforting. Something that reminded me of days long ago with companions I had not really seen in thousands of years.
I walked to the door to find that Varric was not out in the main room either. I could hear people just beyond the door and extinguished the veil fire as I wandered over.
Life still continued on in the main area of the Keep. I did not recognize any one other then the markings of the city guard. Two happened to be standing just outside the doorway.
They were not the men who had been there earlier so I guessed that I had slept through a shift change.
Sorry about the delay, been playing Enderal and completely lost track of time.
The travel to Kirkwall went quicker then I thought.
Abelas rarely let me keep watch and my nights were filled with strange dreams. Solas visited almost every night but the dreams were weirder on the nights he did not arrive as if he was keeping the stranger parts of the fade at bay.
One particular dream had been about the hall where Radinan had held me captive or at least I believed it was that place. The ceiling was completely gone and there were always stars overhead as if I was looking into the night sky. The place was stripped clean of anything that hinted at people. No chairs, no tables, nothing.
The spirits were there, or at least it looked like them. They were in the guise of demons with the Desire demon always the one who came to talk to me. Each and every time, I woke up before anything could be said.
Both Abelas and Solas believed they were trying to tell me something but their grip on the fade was tenuous at best. They had been changed too much by stepping through the rift I made.
It was just another thing added to the long list of things I had to fix.
I was still thinking over it all when we arrived at the gates of Kirkwall.
I could barely remember what the city looked like but it was a lot less friendly looking then what I could remember. We could see the giant statues as we approached, rising into the sky like fearsome protectors. I had no idea why Varric wanted to live in a place like this but then, people called the strangest places home.
“I do not like this place.” Abelas voiced his concern in ancient Elvhen as we approached. He quickly went silent as we neared others walking on the road.
I nodded in agreement to him but said nothing as I led the way into the city proper. There were guards but no one stopped us from entering.
It was just as one would expect of a large city. People everywhere. Beggars, merchants, guards, and everything in between. It bustled with life and energy.
Occasionally, someone would glance towards Abelas but otherwise ignored me. His armour did stand out quite a bit compared to what everyone else was wearing. I realized I would have to find something less ancient Elvhen for him if he truly did want to attempt to fit in with the people when he needed to.
We stayed close as we went through the throngs of people and I tried to remember where Varric would be in all of this. It had been years since I had seen him last and I simply could not remember where he would be.
The press of people around me made it harder for me to think. Their voices rising in a cacophony of noise made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself but it was hard. I had not encountered this many people in years. There had been far less at Solas' keep and they had all parted for me to pass.
“We will need directions, I think.” I said over my shoulder to Abelas who nodded in agreement.
Forcing our way through the crowd, we managed to get off the main street. I realized then that Abelas was frowning at me.
“What is it?” I asked in ancient Elvhen.
“Rest here. I will find information.”
I scowled but he was quickly on his way back out into the group of people before I could say a word.
People still moved about the side street but it was a relief not to have someone jostling my horse every few seconds. I gently stroked the creature's neck and I was just glad the creature was far calmer in the crowd then I was. I did not even want to consider what it would be like to wander through here with a skittish horse.
I stopped petting the horse when I felt something beside me. It was almost like a sudden increase in heat next to me but it also flickered, like a candle.
“I told Varric you are here.” Cole's voice came from between the horse and the wall.
He looked almost human as he stood there. That big hat shadowing his face as he kept to the shadows.
“Cole!” I said with a smile before sliding off the horse to give the spirit a hug which he awkwardly returned. “It is good to see you, Cole.”
He felt as real as any other person but I knew better.
“You are tired.” Cole said with a tilt of his head.
“It's nothing.” I shook my head and tried to alleviate his concerns. “Just...”
“Not used to the people.” Cole finished for me. “Big. So many people. Hard to think.”
“Yes, well. I haven't really been in large crowds without something bad happening.”
“Nothing bad will happen. He will protect you.”
“I don't want people to protect me, Cole.” I wrinkled my nose.
“I know.” Cole bobbed his head. “You are strong, but he sees. He knows. Endless sleep, endless dreams.”
“Abelas won't let me do much on my own.” I said with a small laugh.
“Abelas...?” Cole cocked his head. “Oh yes. He sees too. Not as much but he sees.”
I blinked, realizing that the first he was not Abelas. I had the feeling that he was referring to Solas but I was not entirely sure about that.
“Cole?” I questioned.
“Ah, there you are.” A voice from down the side street had me glancing over the horse towards a group of town guards walking in my direction.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Cole had vanished once more. Sighing, I stepped from around the horse to get a better look at the people approaching.
The speaker was a woman with red hair and a uniform that clearly marked her as being the leader of the group of guards.
“My apologies, Lady Lavellan, we were only just made aware of your arrival.” Something about the way she carried herself almost reminded me of Cullen. Almost like she was being crushed by a sense of duty but yet loved every moment of it.
“Ethara is fine.” I responded, wrinkling up my nose.
“Ethara.” A small smile cracked the stern line of her face. “I am Guard Captain Aveline, Varric sent me to fetch you.”
“Oh... you're that Aveline.” I stared at her.
Strangely, the Tale of the Champion was one of the things that I could remember clearly. Perhaps because I had read it so many times. Seeing Aveline here was a bit surprising.
“I thought you left Kirkwall after the Chantry -” I continued.
“Don't believe everything you read in Varric's books.” Aveline said with a small laugh, cutting me off before I continued. “I remained in Kirkwall after Hawke and the others were forced to flee.”
“Well, pleasure to meet you, Miss Aveline.”
“If I'm to call you Ethara, you may call me Aveline.” She said with a small nod before gesturing to my horse. “If you'd mount back up, we'll lead you to the Keep.”
“Certainly but I need to wait for my companion to come back.” I responded as I climbed back into the saddle. “He went to ask about where Varric would be.”
Aveline flashed me a strange look, like she was about to question that but thought better of it. She nodded over towards two of the guards before speaking to me.
“What would he look like?”
I did my best to give a description of Abelas, from the horse to the armour. The guards quickly made themselves scarce as they followed her orders to seek him out.
“There, they will inform your friend where you can be found. Varric was fairly insistent that I get you up to the Keep as soon as possible.” Aveline motioned for me to follow.
I thought about it. About refusing and just waiting there for Abelas to return but there seemed to be a sincerity about the woman that made me want to go with her.
I also had the sneaking suspicion that Cole had informed Varric that I was drained.
I turned the horse in her direction and urged it forward. The guards all fell in step near the horse with Aveline walking just ahead of me.
She led us through the streets, keeping to the back ways instead of the main streets. I eyed her back suspiciously until we came out in front of a set of stairs leading up to a rather large building. There were more of those statues but it looked like they had gone through some effort to at least make it look friendlier.
“You'll need to leave your horse here, I'm afraid.” Aveline said as a guard stepped forward to take the reins of my horse. I must have looked startled as Aveline quickly spoke again. “Don't worry, nothing will happen to the horse and there are plenty of guards here. You'll be alright. Varric's offices will be up the stairs to the left once you enter the Keep.”
I shot her a questioning look before climbing off the horse.
She merely smiled and beckoned for me to continue on my way. I was not quick enough to ask as she had turned to speak to another nearby guard, clearly giving him instructions about my horse and general guard behaviour.
Sighing, I climbed up the stairs on my own and entered the building.
I remembered what Solas' Keep had been like, teeming full of elves, but this was completely different. It was full of people from all the races of Thedas. Elves, humans, dwarves, even a qunari or two. They were all chattering away at one another, some louder then others.
Guards stood along the walls and at the foot of the stairs.
It seems the city had done alright since the days of the Champion. I would never believe it if someone told me that the Qunari had ransacked the Keep. The damage was almost nonexistent at this point.
I straightened myself as I walked. My head held high like the Inquisitor I was supposed to be.
Thankfully, no one really cared about the lone elf walking up the stairs towards the Seneschal's office. I was only stopped by the guard standing at the door.
“State your business.” His tone was gruff and his gaze was harsh.
“I'm here to see Varric Tethras.”
“You and every other person.” His voice became downright dismissive.
“He's expecting me.” I said with a shrug. Caution had me keeping my name to myself, given that Cassandra was supposed to be impersonating the Inquisitor in the South.
He stared at me but did not move.
“Just go tell Varric that his expected guest is here.”
The guard next to him just rolled his eyes before stepping into the room. I had no idea whether he was irritated with me or his fellow guardsman.
I could not really see much through the small crack, nor could I really hear anything.
The other guard came out shortly before nodding to me.
“You can go in.” He said simply.
I stepped between them and through the door but I could hear the first guard complaining to the other. I tuned him out as I shut the door behind me.
I turned around and found myself caught in an almost rib crushing hug from Varric.
“It's damn good to see you.”
I returned the hug even as I felt a little teary eyed. I had only seen Solas, Cole and Bull since I returned from behind the veil. The full weight of that hitting me like a blow.
“Hey now!” Varric said, a small chuckle coming from the dwarf. “No crying. If you start, then I'll start and that will just be terrible.”
“It is good to see you, Varric.” I said, giving him another little squeeze before letting him go.
“Come on, sit down.” He stepped away and motioned towards the desk on the other side of the room.
The papers were piled high beside a quill that looked like it had been used quite often. Two chairs were situated around it, one clearly having been moved from the other side of the desk.
I quickly glanced around the room as I walked over. A window to let in light, a small fireplace, a lot of shelves full of books and parchments. It looked every inch the room of a Lord.
“I forgot that you had taken over Kirkwall.” I smiled as I sat in the chair.
“Yeah, Dorian told us about you being through time and stuck behind the veil.” He grimaced a little as he sank into the opposing chair. “That must have been hell of a thing. How did you manage to get out?”
“The Breach tore holes in the veil,” I answered, knowing that he meant my imprisonment in the fade. “It took a while before I was brave enough to try going near one of the little rifts but I managed to get through one. Remember that rift we closed that had no demons around it?”
“I thought that had been a little strange.” He chuckled. “That was you on your way out?”
“I didn't quite mean to but yes, that was me.”
“Took out a full rift worth of demons by yourself, getting quite powerful kiddo.”
“You do realize I'm now thousands of years older then you, right?” I could not help but smile at him.
Varric had always been one of those guys that you could not help but laugh and smile with. Sure, he was capable of some pretty large lies but he was not cruel or evil. Every lie he had said had always been for a good reason, or at least the ones I knew he had said.
“Let's not think too hard on that.” He shook his head with a grimace. “At least not until I'm good and drunk.”
“If we had the time to get you that drunk...” I laughed.
“Right, problems in Thedas.” That grimace deepened. “That's why you're here, isn't it? Dorian said something about the elves taking you to spend time in uthenera.”
“Yes,” I stopped laughing. “Apparently I overstepped my skills a little and needed to rest. Dorian managed to pass on the message that things were going badly but he was really, really out of it.”
“I imagine he's mentioned the war in Tevinter then?” Varric said with a quirk of his head. I nodded and so he continued. “We've had an influx of people fleeing the conflict, a lot more elves coming south then staying there.”
“I thought they had a community in the Arlathan Forest?”
“They do but the refugees coming south? Those are kids. Old people.” He sighed. “They wouldn't admit it but they're all the ones the others sent south to keep safe.”
I stared at him in surprise. This Myal in the north was sending away all those who could not defend themselves. That meant they had to be gearing themselves up for battle. There was no other reason why they would do such a thing.
“Do you know that for certain?” I found myself asking.
“Yes.” Varric nodded. “They won't talk to my people but they will talk to the Sabrae Clan.”
“The Sabrae Clan?” The name was familiar but I just could not place them.
“Dalish elves that live just outside Kirkwall. I can arrange for you to meet with their Keeper.” He paused for a moment, thinking about that. “Actually, I probably should do that anyway. She'll be pretty upset that I didn't bring you to visit her if you left without going.”
“You're on good terms with the Keeper of a Dalish clan?”
I was a little sceptical of that. Varric was a friendly man but the Dalish were not that keen on outsiders, especially ones that were not elves and generally not with the people ruling cities. Clan Lavellan had been different but that difference had cost them their lives.
“Of course. It's my old friend Merrill.” He said with a grin that reached ear to ear.
“That's the one from the book?” I asked although I was a little surprised. If I remembered the story right, she had attempted to make a deal with a demon which had ended badly. I really could not remember how terrible but just that it had been bad.
“Yes and I know what you're thinking.” His eyes twinkled. “After the destruction of the chantry, there was a lot of problems here in Kirkwall and with the elves. Merrill is the one who pulled them all together. Dalish and city elves. Things aren't the same here as they are elsewhere, elves aren't as hated because of the things her and Carver pulled off.”
“Her and Carver?”
“Ah yeah, left that out too.” A slightly sheepish look. I assumed it was just another thing he left out of the book as I had no idea about this Carver. “Carver Hawke has pretty much been by her side ever since they left Kirkwall. He's pretty accepted by the elves in the clan as well.”
I did not believe that. There was accepting that the Clan was more like Clan Lavellan and friendlier with outsiders but to have an actual human in the Clan and tied to the Keeper. That was just a little too unbelievable.
I suppose being related to the Champion of Kirkwall might have helped a little with it but it was still surprising.
“Trust me. It's the truth. Clan Sabrae has taken in a lot more then just Carver when it comes to humans.” He was back to smiling again. “They've even taken in some elf blooded kids. It's mostly elves there but they seemed to take after a particular elf that decided to save the world regardless of what everyone else thought of her.”
I felt a blush creeping all the way to the tips of my ears.
“You made an impact, even here. Especially since I was walking proof.” He shrugged before getting up. “After the Chantry, you doing all that was what people needed to realize that if we all don't work together, things were never going to change. Merrill started that change here by rounding up Clan Sabrae and anyone else who needed a home.”
“I definitely need to meet this Merrill then.” I nodded with a smile even though I sincerely hoped that he had not been promoting me as someone larger then life to them.
“You'll also be pleased to know that there are survivors of Clan Lavellan there as well.”
“Really?” That was a pleasant surprise. “I thought they were all up near... “ I paused, not quite remembering the name of the other city.
“Wycome.” Varric provided with a look of sympathy but it was clear that gave him an opening to something that was bothering him. “Look... I know it's not a question you've really been thinking about... but how much do you actually remember?”
“What? Why?”
“Dorian said that you were gone for thousands of years. I can hardly remember things from a few years ago if it's not written down.”
“I can remember enough.” I did not meet his eyes. “I remember the Inquisition, I remember my friends and most of the important stuff.”
“Ethara...”
“It's not a big deal, Varric.” I sighed. “I was only the Inquisitor for what...? Five years? Prior to that, I was just trained to be the next Keeper of Clan Lavellan. I ended up spending more time in Elvhenan then at either of those.”
“Still, it's not something to dismiss. Especially if you're going to be jumping head first back into politics like the others want.”
“So you know about what's happening with the Inquisition as well?”
“Of course. That and the shitstorm up north.”
“What can you tell me about the leader of the elves in the north?” I asked, only too happy to divert the conversation away from myself.
“Not much. She's a young elf, Dalish and she's promoting you as the goddess of the people. She's apparently capable as a leader as there aren't many complaints from the ones that do come south.”
“That doesn't help much.”
“Well, does it help in knowing that they're not actively searching for something in the forest?” He provided, watching me keenly as he spoke. “They did a few sweeps through a small area and then disappeared into the deeper parts. A few groups of them split off and that's about all we know. If there is something in there that they want, then they know where it is already.”
“That helps. Troubling but helpful.” I admitted.
“You know something?” He quirked an eyebrow as he asked.
“It really was the location of Arlathan.” Was all I said.
I honestly did not know what had happened to the city. I had spent my days with Mythal in her temple outside the city proper before venturing to the Alinuris. I just knew that was where it was.
I guessed Solas knew more about what happened with Arlathan but I did not want to bring that up with him.
“That's what most people assume.” Varric sighed. “There's something else you should be aware of.”
“What's that?”
“Remember those people that kidnapped you?”
“You mean Ellendra and her companions?”
I would always leave it at just that. The less people that knew, the better. Especially given that she had been part of a group of cultists led by my father.
That was a conversation I really did not want to have right now.
“Yeah.” Varric looked away from me as he spoke. “They've been popping up all over Thedas now. Not large numbers but enough that it's clear they're looking for something. My guess is that they're trying to find where you are... or Solas but I'm going with you as they had you prettied up when we got there.”
I frowned and looked down at the glove covering my crystalline hand.
“There are some here in Kirkwall.”
My frown deepened but I did not look up. I knew what Abelas had said earlier, that I was still too weak from what I had done. I was not sure if I would be able to stop the Cultists if they came after me while I was in this particular state.
“Damnit.” I muttered under my breath.
“We've managed to route them out but they come back every few months. Aveline caught one trying to sneak in here while I was out.” He half-laughed, half-snorted as he thought about it. “As if I would keep documents about where you were lying around.”
“That is going to make me getting back to Skyhold a lot more difficult.” I said.
“I'm thinking there might be a way around that.” Varric's voice went thoughtful for a moment.
I glanced over at him to see that he had that expression on his face like he was working things out.
“Merrill might have the answer, that's if Solas didn't completely lock down her eluvian.”
“Merrill has an eluvian?” I sucked in a breath of air, startled by that revelation. I had assumed that either Solas or Morrigan had control of the eluvians. “I thought you wrote that Hawke had destroyed it?”
“That's much better then she repaired it and it did nothing, right?” Varric said with a thin smile. “It's a long shot but if it actually does work, we might be able to get you back through there without having to cross through all of Thedas.”
“So, when do I get to meet this Merrill?” I asked.
“As soon as your chaperone shows up.” Varric said with a laugh. “Cole did say you weren't alone.”
“Oh right... Abelas.” I had not forgotten about him, I had just gotten so distracted with talking with Varric that I had forgotten he was not nearby.
“Not Solas?”
“No.” I answered, not quite looking at him.
“Well, not gonna pry into that one.” He shook his head before laughing again. “You're free to come and go as you please in Kirkwall, my home is your home for as long as you're here. When Abelas shows up, I'll have Aveline take you to meet Merrill.”
“Thanks Varric.” I said with a smile, truthfully meaning it.
We continued to talk for what seemed like hours. He reminded me of what things I had said or done as the Inquisitor and I told him what my life had been like since I disappeared. I did not get into too much detail about the time travel as he clearly said that whole thing gave him a 'headache'.
I began to feel a bit on edge as time wore on.
“I think I should have Aveline look for him.” Varric said, whether it was because he noticed my behaviour or he simply realized that it was far too long.
“Thank you.”
“You get some rest until then.” He said as he got up. One hand motioning to a set of doors leading further into the keep. His personal rooms, I guessed. “No arguing. Go lay down.”
I grumbled but I could not help but deny that I was feeling drained. I knew I could trust Varric and his friends to look for Abelas so I slipped into the other room and fell asleep the moment I laid my head down on the pillow.
DGSD Chapter 34: Reasons
Ethara and Abelas begin their journey to Kirkwall.
It ended up being more then a day before we set out for Kirkwall. Abelas refused to let me do much but then it seemed that he was not the only one with that intention.
It appeared that the temple housed more then just Abelas and myself. The same elf came every day, bringing me something to eat. They did not speak, just respectfully placed the food on a nearby table. I had not even noticed the first few times.
“They were once followers of Fen'Harel.” Abelas had explained when one of them had delivered new riding clothes for me.
Clothing that finely tailored and fitting perfectly – which was a little weird as it meant they had measured me while I slept and I was not completely sure I was alright with that. The clothing was closer to what I would have worn if I had been raised a city elf but there were a few pieces that almost looked like they might belong to a Keeper.
Waking up was like swimming through water full of seaweed that was trying to drag me back under. My limbs felt heavy like they were wrapped up in mud and plant life. Every breath felt sluggish.
I strained against my own body as I forced by way back to the waking world. Gradually, my senses came back to me and I realized I was in a temple.
The ceiling above me was arched and had a great many designs carved across them. Halla, harts, bears, things I had never even imagined possible. Vines grew along the carvings but it was almost like the vines were trying to enhance the images, almost looking like giant trees.
There were soft blankets and pillows piled around me, and I guessed I was in a bed of some sort. It was comfortable despite the aching of my body. I honestly felt like I had tried to take on a dragon on my own.
Ethara learns things have changed in the waking world, especially about her. Cole interrupts.
They say time flies when you're enjoying yourself and for us it was no different.
We had been travelling through the fade together, seeking out an elusive spirit that Faith had told us about that had been reclusive but curious about us. We were in the part of the fade that did not belong to a dreaming mind, a shifting sort of landscape that was as mutable as any dream. Solas had chosen to give it the form of a path as we walked, making it a little more exciting then just a shifting nothingness.
I knew he did it partially because that nothingness always unsettled me, reminding me of Sum'banal. The fade had reacted to my terror the first time and Solas instantly changed it to a glade and held me until I could explain what exactly bothered me about a nothingness like that.
We had been walking, side by side, when I felt a strange tug which stopped me in my tracks. It was nothing like the compulsion I had felt to obey him but there was an insistence to it.
It almost felt like a whisper but it was nothing like the whisper of Tu'Salhasis, this felt almost warm. If a whisper could even feel warm.
