UNPROMPTED ASKS / always accepting | @ethrite | a continuation of this ask.
trembling hands. cold as ice , suggesting warm heart , but even that has cooled over the years . they reach . snow cups her face within calloused palms , stares down with eyes so blue they could drown her . and he , he stares into green , inhuman and perfectly her .
his voice , low , choked . emotional , and afraid .
" you claim to be so smart , but'y'er kind of an idiot . "
it's meant to be kind of a tease, but his voice is thick with the vulnerability . the silence , however brief , suffocates .
" how long is it gonna take you t'realise that i'm going this for you ? not for serah , or the world . "
he is shaking. like earthquakes beneath his skin, or ice shattering beneath the weight. if she does not run, he might. that is their fatal flaw.
" for you , claire . all i--all i've wanted was t'keep you safe , 'cause i want to. need to. not for her, or 'cause you're incapable, but because i----you can take care of yourself, but y'don't have to , y'know . not anymore . "
he lets go now. drops his hands, drops his gaze. run, silly boy. it's all you're good at.
“ i jus'--can't stand watchin' you pretend you don't know that. "
The word hovers uselessly on her tongue. Thought, but never spoken. Desired, she believed, but not manifested ; even as it lingered between her teeth and struggled against the ivory. Were she as strong as she claimed she would have rebuked him entirely ; wrench her head back from his hold, tear herself from him, enact that distance so keenly broken whenever they were together ( how fucking dare he ! he knew better – they knew better the things they could come back from. not this. not this )
Instead, her brows knit tightly at his choked remark, daring not to bridge the emotion she picked between the tones – felt in the palm of his hands, skin pressed to skin – and attempted to ignore the quickening of her heart like a hummingbird in flight.
Don’t speak to her with such vulnerability, she knew naught what to do with it. Not even her sister, for all her empathy, could tease such from her. It remained entangled in her body like a snare, trapping, killing anything it touched. That primal thing inside of her could only scream he would be next.
𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥 ! 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋 ! 𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 !
CLAIRE. A name from another time. Literally, for all they had been through, and it was if her faux name ripped through her like a bolt from the heavens. Her eyes widened, subtle flickers drinking the contour of his face. Serah must have told him once, back when things were good and right and normal. Instead, his hands were on her face, her own pressed to his chest, and the sickening turn of her stomach reminded her how wrong it was that she might want to hear him say it again. But as fleeting as desire was, reality hit with the drop of his hand and the tiny step she took back.
Why should she suffer to live ; to sin so ? Serah should have been alive. Serah was the one who made him happy. She would love him wholly – completely. For FUCK sake, it was what she deserved, not her ! She had done nothing wrong !
“ I can’t know that. ” Ah, the opportunistic thief made off with her cruelty. What remained was viscous, a coagulation of trepidation, fear and fleeting determination. It rocked her to her core, that place in her chest she cut the innocence from. Yet, burn down a forest, the remaining seeds would still sprout.
“ You belong to Serah. Not me. Your place is with her. ” Her voice was deadpan, like she were reciting fact or scripture. It was one of the few things she had, less she lose the fight entirely. “ When this is over, you will go back to her, and you will be happy. You will. You will make her happy. I don’t need protection, because I can’t be yours to protect. ”
All they needed to do was walk away. Lie, pretend like none of this had happened.
“ What you feel – what this is ? “ She could not admit her own. Light had already tarnished Serah’s memory enough without putting a name to it. “ Swallow it. “
Please. The word left unsaid. Because, if he didn’t, she knew she could not.
A grit of her teeth. Her hands were balled too tightly at her sides. “ Otherwise we can’t go back. “