So, in my english class we are looking at creating a voice and we’re supposed to look at and analyse examples. Naturally I chose to look at an extract from Everything Turns to Gold by the incredible @darkleweather and @redwinterroses Behold:
Ch.27
“Do you not know when you’ve been defeated, Swamp King?” Exor bent forward, bringing his horned head on level with Jimmy’s. Molten-hot breath that reeked of decay washed over Jimmy’s face. “Do you not see when your demise is inevitable?”
“It’s not.”
Harsh light leaked between Exor's fangs. “Of course you refuse to lay down and die. I see other worlds in your eyes, mortal—you didn’t know when to give up then, either.”
The image of a crown dripping with blood flickered in Jimmy’s mind. A burning red banner. A desert rigged to blow. He jerked free of Exor’s grip.
“I’d do it again.”
“And what has it ever gained you but death and death and death again,” Exor scoffed. “Mortals. You never recognize when you’re beat.”
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing,” Jimmy said softly.
Analysis:
This section of dialogue has very clear voices; Jimmy and Exor are shown to have vastly different personalities through their speech. Jimmy speaks in short, simple statements, giving his sentences a stubborn and defensive air. The words are defiant, particularly in the context of being threatened, continuing to return to his hope of survival. Additional context about the lines “A burning red banner. A desert rigged to blow” (which is a reference to an exterior text) lends weight to Jimmy’s assertion that he is not giving up, as he did not give up then when the stakes were just as high.
Exor, on the other hand, has a very domineering and superior voice. This is created through their questions and statements which are intended to persuade Jimmy of his hopelessness, their constant reference to death, and their condescending use of the term “mortal”. The formatting of the dialogue also adds to the sense of voice; Exor’s words are bolded, making them more forceful and dominant.
The dialogue is balanced with active descriptions; there are not speech tags but it is clear who is speaking and how they are speaking it, as indicated by the voices and the logical back and forth flow of the conversation. The descriptions of the characters’ actions add to the dialogue, such as “molten-hot breath that reeked of decay” adding to the menace of Exor’s words.
- Thank you Red and Darkle for making such a lovely story!!
(and bonus other bit that i really loved but decided not to analyse)
