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#postal #postal dude #postal 2 #running with scissors #postal fanart #postal game #euughhhhh #I sure hope his ex wife isn’t in that trailer GULP

ah. my paycheck is gonna be $120. guess we arent making rent this month lol

#tongue #i might be able to get my dad to help but i feel bad asking #bc he has like medical expenses and stuff #euughhhhh #im so bad with comms lately but i may have to open them up again so i can like. eat #thanks covid

I feel paralyzed now… i feel like crying but im too worked up to actually cry, im so frustrated I feel like im losing my mind, idk what to do…

#callate guero #i really just need to get a good job and leave forever #like that’s it #i need to go #im losing myself staying here #sigh #getting out of bed is gonna be so hard today #euughhhhh #abuse tw #i wish they would just hit me so I knew what was happening was actually bad and not constantly feel like I’m overreacting #when I was little i would tell them to hit me cause I deserved it and eventually that lead them to stop hitting me #i was a smart kid for that #I think #sad what happened to young me I ache for them I wish I could hold them I’m sorry that happened to you buddy #anyways #vent

EUUUGHH

worst fucking jumpscare of my life. completely white spider on the back of my chair for god knows how long and. everything is evil now. my heart rate jumped to like 150 or so bpm once the spider went into defensive position at my presence.

my honest to god reaction to it was that of a cartoon character literally jumping out of their skin and leaving their eyes behind. i cowered and ran to the kitchen to fetch a spray soap bottle like the coward i am

however my cowardice is justified because THE SPIDERS CAN JUMP REALLY. REALLY FAR. and at least one person here went into anaphylactic shock from a bite from an unidentified one. euuhghhhghh

#salty don't look #EUUGHHHHH #EUUUAHHH #AHHHHHHHHHHHH #discussion of spider

Ate pizza

#euughhhhh #watching newest ep of Hell’s Kitchen

i don’t like nite owls costume tho in the movie. right off the bat. well technically i don’t like a lot of their costumes but his is the one that particularly makes me mad bc he’s a rlly dorky guy. and the fact that the suit was like,, made to b Cool i guess sorta ruins the vibe for me. he should look kind of silly

#captain’s log #also he’s not nearly fat enough #EUUGHHHHH

Nother day of that "not good enough" grind

#euughhhhh #cas vent arch #every day i just start feeling worse #sorry to be attention seeking on main but i can not take it anymore #i wish i was dead #ask to tag #thinking of disappearing off the internet for a while

hm. anyway

#i just got into FIT but ahmmm #its all so gross and modern looking #like the only appeal is that its in nyc #i dont even know that i wanna go to college anyway #euughhhhh #but i also 100% sshould not be making life changing decisions rn #in the pits of my delusion cycle rn :]

#euughhhhh

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