#evancest

[gorehouind]

happy pride :-)

[neglectedrainbow]

evan hansen supporting himself is so important.

[thatsubmissivesam]

Goodbye.

Samuel Dwight Jessica Evans,

Hi. I can't tell you how many times I wrote and re-wrote this letter when I got back to my room last night. I couldn't stop thinking about the things you said. Clearly, I didn't have any words for my feelings last night. I hope I made everything somewhat clear in that kiss. There is so much I need to get off of my chest, Sam. I need to do it now, or I really will die.

First things first. I love you. It's taken me too long to realize it but I love you as more than a brother. I'm in love with you, Sam Evans. I'm head over heels in stupid love with you. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. There is no hiding it, and I can't deny it any longer. But it doesn't take a genius to realize who in this world brings you the most happiness. I'll murder Reese Witherspoon before I deny you of that happiness. Harrison. That's who you belong with. Just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I don't understand that.

I want you to be happy. You can claim over and over how my absence will destroy you. How it will break your heart. Maybe it will. I feel like I'm being stabbed with every word of this letter because I can so vividly picture your face as you read it. Maybe you will have a hole that will need patching up. That's the thing about injuries. They always heal. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, Sam. I know my leaving you may seem detrimental and shattering right now, but it will get better. It always get's better.

You are stronger than you know. I can force myself to leave because I know that Harrison is capable of putting you back together. I know that he is capable of loving you through any pain that I cause. Sometimes, we have to hurt the people that we love to help them. This may seem painful right now, but you'll thank me for it later.

I'm in love with you, Sam. If I stick around, I'm only going to get more and more jealous and I'm only going to cause more and more problems. I can't do that anymore. I need to go my own way to save you. You can yell and scream about how wrong I am and how I'm doing nothing but hurting you, but that's just it. I'm hurting you. I can't do it anymore, so if I have to deliver one more painful blow to save your future happiness; so be it. 

So. This is goodbye. For good this time. I can't keep hurting you and I can't keep tearing you apart. It's like peeling off a band-aid. I know I'm going to cause you pain, so I might as well get it all over with in one blow rather than stretching it out over time. That way you can start getting better faster. You will be fine and you don't need me. This is it, Sam. It's been fun. I will never forget all those nights we spent laying in the corn-fields and looking up at the stars while we talked about our favorite movies as kids. Or how as we grew up together, I told you that I was gay in the same exact spot. I will never forget all the times you stood up for me in school. I will never forget all the times you let me sleep in your bed with you when I'd pretend to be scared, when really you were just more comfortable than a blanket. 

You're my BooBoo, Sam. My Obi Sam Kenobi. See? I told you I'd get that spelling right eventually. Better late than never, right? You're the Ken to my Barbie and you'll always be in my heart. No matter where I go or what I do, I'll be thinking about you and how much better off you are. I love you so fucking much Sammy. Don't ever forget that, and don't forget me. Just forget the pain that I've caused you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Good-bye, Sam. You're going to do great things someday. I know it. You'll always be my hero. In the words of one Elle Woods; "Keep it Positive." I love you. Good-bye.

~ Owen Dominic Elle Evans

[submissiveevans]

I'm Wide Awake || Evancest || F2F

Everything was an excessive blur of black and despair. How could this have happened? How could his life be completely turned on his head in a matter of moments? There was no disguising they painful, angst-filled truth. Samuel Dwight Evans had been kidnapped. It all happened so fast that he could hardly remember it precisely. All the blonde, nine-teen year old could remember was his mother telling him to take the trash out. It was strange of her to ask him to do this on a Sunday night, considering the fact that Tuesday nights were always trash nights, but Sam didn't think anything of it. He also didn't think much of all the hugs and kisses his mother and father had given him that day. His father had taken him out to breakfast that morning and his mother made his favorite meal for dinner. In an eerie way, it was almost like they knew he would be leaving them soon.

Sam remembered walking out with the light trash can and setting it at the end of the Evans' humble driveway. That's when everything changed. Suddenly, a man dressed in all black had the blonde boy in a choke hold while he pressed a chloroform rag to his plump lips. Sam's eyes closed and he had no idea how much time had passed in between the time that he opened them again. When his green eyes did in fact open, he found himself on the doorstep of an unbelievably large mansion. It was like a palace compared to the trailer that he lived in. In fact it was a palace compared to another palace. As Sam took in his surroundings, he realized that his ankles and wrists were tied together and he was gagged. He was stripped of all clothes except a pair of tight white briefs with the initials, 'A.E.' on them. He didn't realize it now, but those initials had also been tattooed into his wrist. There was an extravagant red bow tied around his middle.

He looked around wildly, screaming and struggling, trying anything he could to escape. It was futile the ropes that were binding him were unbreakable.Sam succumbed to his own weakness and lay still, a heaving, panting, terrified picture of submission.

[sexysammyevans]

Mine || Para

Sam couldn't remember the last time he he rushed off of a plane like that. You'd think there was a terrorist on board or something. He couldn't help it. After a whole week of being without his bother and having to be harassed by that scum bag, Xavier, he needed his brother more than ever. The two had talked about some things that Sam knew would have to be discussed, but that could wait. He just need to be in Ryan's arms at this point.

Sam walked out of the main terminal and into the lobby, wheeling his suit case behind him, as he looked around for his brother. Sam stopped against a wall and rubbed his brother's leather jacket that he was wearing, almost to make sure it was still on him. The only thing he had to remind himself that Ryan was a real person, because it honestly seemed like that wasn't the case, Ryan was just too perfect to be real. Sam looked around the airport, biting his lip. Where was he?

[sexysammyevans]

Text || Evancest

Sam: Uggggh I am so bored.

Sam: You have guns right? Please. Come shoot me.

[sexysammyevans]

F2F || Classy

Sam moved around restlessly through his star wars sheets on his squeen sized bed. he was shirtless and in his red briefs. He always wore those pajams when he was to hot to wear actual pants and it seemed like he'd been sweating ever since he met Ryan Bennett. Ryan... it was still weird to say that name. Whether Ryan was turning him on, or pissing him off, Sam was ina constant sweat of emotion. Tonight was the night that Ryan said he'd finally come over voluntarily and Sam simply couldn't sleep not knowing when he was arriving so he laid awake listening for the familiar growl of the blonde's motorcycle. Sam turned on his phone at read through their texts for the fiftieth time, sighing longingly.

[sexysammyevans]

Text || Evancest

Sam: I think my apartement is haunted...