I Want You
Y/n thinks that she's too ugly for love.
cw: insecurity, past bullying experience, reader has had several cosmetic surgeries
wc: 812
A/n: I missed you guys sm 🥹! I'm so sorry for not posting a fic in a while 😔. I am planning to post longer fics 🤞, but thank you so much for being patient with me 🫂.
"I like you, y/n." Chan confessed.
"I like you, y/n." A former schoolmate mocked. A gaggle of laughs followed.
The night breeze surrounded Chan and Y/n. They stood before a tree which was elevated by a cement ring. In the distance, the city crowd chattered. Nonetheless, y/n's ears drowned in the laughter of her past, rather than the sound of her present.
Y/n flinched.
"Don't say that. It's not funny." Y/n walked a few steps back before she looked down.
"I'm not trying to be funny." Chan looked at y/n head on. "Listen, if you don't like me…" his voice got quieter as he went on. "Just say so." The man's jaw clenched.
"I do like you." Y/n rubbed her thumbs together. "That's the problem." She looked Chan in the eye. "You're not supposed to like me." Y/n constricted her fists.
"What do you mean?" Chan stepped closer to y/n. "Do you have a partner?" His voice shook. "Are you my secret cousin or something?" His chuckle trembled.
"No! Oh god no! It's nothing like that! It's just…" Y/n could see Chan's breathing quicken. "I—I have to—to go to the bathroom." She was already dashing to the bathroom before the man could even say a word.
When y/n arrived in the bathroom, she looked into the mirror. In it, she saw a child with blemishes that people saw as sins. The woman reapplied her eyeliner. Of course, y/n's reflection imitated her movements. Her fingers quivered when she reapplied her eyeliner, the skin on her cheeks felt smooth but her reflection's skin was rougher; more textured.
Y/n's reflection had an underbite and a nose that was bigger and flatter than what most people wanted. She clutched her chest; when she breathed, a gush of tears followed.
Y/n's relentlessly buzzed.
Chan <3 : r u ok?
Chan <3 : y/n, r u going to come back?
Chan <3: I'm sorry but can u tell me if ur safe?
Chan <3: y/n?
Y/n looked at her phone before she closed her eyes and took three deep breaths. She dragged her feet as she exited the bathroom.
Chan gulped when he saw y/n. She motioned for him to sit on the rim surrounding the tree.
"I have to tell you something." Y/n opened Facebook and she went to her parent's account. She scrolled through it before showing it to Chan.
"These are my childhood pictures." Y/n handed the phone to Chan. His face was unreadable as he inspected the pictures. "You can probably tell that I have had a lot of surgeries. I didn't look the prettiest when I was younger and naturally, my schoolmates pointed it out every chance they get. Their favorite game was daring each other to say that they like me." She spook faster than her usual pace.
"Well, someone should've kicked their ass." Chan said through gritted teeth.
"Someone should've." Y/n nodded. "But that's hard to do when they're the teacher's favorites, you know?" She sighed before she looked at the moon.
"I'm sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves that." Chan overlapped his hand over y/n's.
Y/n's tears slowly descended down her cheeks.
For a moment, the night breeze and the distant crowd chatter were the only sounds.
"So.." Y/n spoke up.
"Now, do you understand?"
"Understand what? That people are assholes?"
"I feel like you already knew that so no. Do you understand why you can't like me?"
"Y/n." Chan cupped y/n's cheek and swiped her tear away. "I don't care about an asshole's opinion. I don't like you because you're pretty, although, that is a nice bonus. I like you because you're you." He gently said.
"But how? You meet pretty and interesting people everyday. Why would you choose me?" Y/n's voice broke as she looked Chan in the eye.
"Because whenever I'm with you, I know I can be myself. You have never judged me for having weird thoughts or interests. You have taught me that I shouldn't be afraid to know that I might be wrong. You have consistently encouraged me to fix my internal problems and to not take my frustrations out on people." Chan had a steady voice.
Y/n's breath hitched.
"You have singlehandedly taught me how to be a better person. The version that I show to you is my favorite version of myself." Chan's voice broke on the last word.
"It sounds like you actually love me more than like me." Y/n softly laughed.
"I do love you but I don't want you to scare you away." Chan admitted.
"Looks like we want the same things, huh?"
"Well, do you want this? Do you want me?"
Y/n answered with a kiss.
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