I Lost Myself ✮⋆˙
Edward Cullen x Masc! GN! Reader: Reverse Comfort
aka: a very angsty Edward and a reverse comfort reader.
heavily inspired by the p!atd cover of karma police :p
✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩
For a minute, a moment, a singular lonely second, Edward wishes he could love like his family.
It’s been tiring watching his siblings have mates just as their parents. Edward’s been alone for decades. Not many other vampires live around them, not nice ones anyway, and no clans really approve of cross-clan relationships.
Humans are his only option. But, there’s a problem with that. The Cullen’s were raised to co-exist with humans, but within the halls of the school, the Cullen’s purposefully outcast themselves. Well.. partially on purpose. Women of all grades and types thirst over Edward. But they aren’t enough.
He thought he found the perfect someone. Isabella Swan. She ended up cheating on him with Jacob Black, leaving Edward on his lonesome again.
Being the only lone vampire in a coven of love. It hurts. It hurts beyond belief.
Edward occasionally finds himself wallowing in his sorrow in the parking lot during lunch. He hides in the backseat of his volvo, listens to his classical music, and tries to cope.
One day, Edward decides to play his music a little louder than normal. This ended up being the best thing he could’ve done. A few moments after the dial is turned up, the sound of knuckles rapping against the window of the car snaps Edward out of his depressive state. He lunges to the front seat to turn down the music, and he lowers the window.
The person who stood infront of him wasn’t one he’d seen before. Ever. They wore a smock, covered in paint. Cream linen pants, with a matching top, a white tshirt underneath, white loafers and white crew socks.
They looked… fresh. Not like slang fresh, like… fresh laundry fresh. The smell of fresh, homegrown cilantro. Like when it just begins to rain in a flower field.
Like a breath of fresh air.
Their scent was mesmerizing to Edward, he’d never met a human with anything like it before.
The person stood before him shoots him a glare, “Keep your music down, Mozart. Some people are trying to work,” they scoff out, their voice dripping in disdain.
If Edward’s heart still pumped, it would be rattling against his ribcage.
Someone was treating him like a normal person. Not some ostracized freak.
Edward fumbles out a quick apology, admitting he didn’t think it was that loud.
The person before him cocks an eyebrow, their eyes flicking around the car’s interior.
“You’re out here… alone? Listening to classical music in your car. At-“ they look down to check their watch-“ 11:57 am?” They inquire, their voice cracking with laughter.
Edward’s face scrunches with displeasure,
“No- there’s more to it than that.” He grits, pulling his brows together.
The person lolls their head to the side, popping a hand on their hip.
“Oh yeah? What else could there be that could possibly make this any more embarrassing?”
Edward opens his mouth to speak, but snaps it shut. Nothing he wanted to say would make this any less… pathetic.
‘For gods sake.. I’m.. I’m sat here crying in my damn car, listening to- to MOZART. All because.. I’m a lonely sack of shit.’
“I’m a lonely sack of shit..” Edward huffs out under his breath, causing the person to choke back a laugh.
“Ain’t you one of the Cullen’s? How are you lonely? You have bitches flockin’ to you for breathing!” They chuckle, throwing the back of their hand over their mouth.
Edward grimaces, which the person catches. They immediately stop laughing, and stand up straight.
“I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ They start, worry lacing their features.
“No. You’re right.” Edward barks out, throwing his hands out in front of him.
“How is a son of one of the most known families in Forks, so damn lonely? Why doesn’t anyone stick around?” He continues, his voice cracking as he does.
The person flinches a bit, the anger in Edward’s tone evident and strong. They feel horrible, truly.
After a few minutes of coaxing, the person, now known as (Y/N), has joined Edward in the back seat of his car.
(Y/N) offered to put on some of their own music, to change up the vibe, and give Edward something new. They put on angsty dark wave music, something to really get Edward’s emotions out.
And it works. He’s able to vent to the song, and spills all the bottled feelings he’s kept harbored in his ancient mind.
He told facts about him from his life before becoming a vampire, but twister and misconstrued, to seem more modern.
(Y/N) was a damn good listener. They sat, and made no sound. They just listened. Nodding along to Edward’s stories, or making faces to react.
Edward was practically shaking with rage by the time he finished talking, his eyes slightly watery, and jaw strained from being tensed over and over.
(Y/N) raises a hand, pressing their warm skin into Edward’s own. The contrast of temperatures make both parties flinch slightly, but neither of them move away. The heat is incredibly soothing on Edward’s strained jaw, he lets it hang slack, fully relaxing the muscles.
After the anger dissipates from the crammed car, Edward and (Y/N) just… talk. They talk about everything. People in the school, teachers, what classes they take. They talk about Edward’s family, (Y/N) briefly mentions their father working as a chef at the local diner.
Soon, the pair depart to go to their classes. But this isn’t the last time they see one another, oh no.
They continue this routine for 2 weeks. Every day at lunch, Edward goes to his car with food from the cafeteria, (Y/N) supplies music via burned cd’s they make the night before.
The two become close and fast friends, and begin hanging out during school hours. Walking to and from class together, spending their study hall in the library together. They were inseparable.
Edward finally wasn’t alone.
But. All good things don’t last forever.
Bella is quick to notice the pairs closeness, and a deep, stabbing jealousy rages inside of her. She approaches (Y/N) one day, just after Edward leaves. Bella sprouts a parade of lies and twisted truths against Edward, making him out to be some villain.
(Y/N) is crushed, and chooses to distance themself from Edward. They feel awful, but if he’s really that bad of a person, they can’t risk it.
Edward. Loses it.
He doesn’t come to school for a week. He didn’t go on hunting trips with his family, he didn’t eat what they brought home for him. He didn’t talk to anyone.
He was truly alone again.
(Y/N), while walking from the vending machine back to class, over hears Bella snickering with her friends, about how she ‘ruined’ Edward’s life for leaving her.
(Y/N)’s brows knit together. Tightly.
‘No.. no there’s no way. She wouldn’t lie.. would she?..’
Their eye twitches, their hand wrapping tighter around their drink. They turn on their heels and dart down the hallway towards the parking lot. Just as the lunch bell rings, (Y/N)’s car flies out of the parking lot.
They pull up to the Cullen’s household, and beat furiously on the door.
A very confused Esme opens the door. She had no idea why a human was pounding on her door. Or even how they knew how to get here.
“I’m so sorry, I need to talk to Edward. Immediately.” They huff, clearly out of breath.
Esme just sighs, and leads them upstairs hurriedly. She directs them in the direction of Edward’s room, and shuffles back down the stairs.
(Y/N) slowly approaches the door, softly pushing on it. It sat slightly agape, and swung open easily.
Edward laid in a nest like bundle of blankets on his chaise lounge, his hair slick with sweat, and his skin even paler than normal. He looked.. ill.
His eyes light up slightly as they land on you, but they’re quick to darken.
“Why are you here. You hate me, remember?” He growls out, almost hissing.
(Y/N)’s face contorts. “I don’t hate you. It was Bella. She told me all these.. these rumors.. to try and get me to stop talking to you.” They explain, stuttering over their words at the state of their friend.
Edward’s face copies that of (Y/N)’s, bouncing together in disgust. But, his eyes soften.
“So.. so you don’t hate me?”
“I could never hate you, Edward. I was just.. too naïve to realize.”
Edward’s eyebrow cocks. “Realize what?”
“..How in love with you I was.”
✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩
i was working on this one and the draco malfoy one at literally the same exact time, so BOOM!! double post!!!
next post: ???
