seen from Malaysia
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seen from T1
seen from Yemen
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I have exactly $1,382.47 and if I spend any more or less I will be immediately executed by the sniper watching me from outside my window please for the love of God give me something to buy
I'm gonna spot you $1.03 so you can get this Amazing Weird Strange Demonic Wood Carving Wild Boar Satanic Monkey (plus shipping)
wrt my broader ideas of "taking SFW versions of ideas from weird NSFW fiction," I saw a game on Steam that's basically a shop management sim about a Succubus capturing adventurers to turn them into items to sell.
Naturally, I thought "That would be fucking horrifying in any other context!" Hell, even in that context it's unintentionally disturbing!
So, I thought, I might as well come up with hypothetical magic items from a non-horny version of that premise. Here's what I got:
-an armor made from a warrior. It looks like their muscles and bones were flipped inside out and then further grown into chitinous plates re-enforced by iron sinew. The organs are on the back,the grotesquely distended skull creating a bony covering with only enough bare muscle to open the mouth, so it can swallow nutrients.
-A staff made from a wizard, the body withered to stick-thinness, twisted around itself like a staff made from smoked meat. The head serves as the top, brain lolling with a transparent covering allowing it to grow unfettered, but a bony "bowl" around it protecting it from the elements. The head with intact vocal cords lolls below, wheezing and muttering and drooling, only speaking when its magic is called upon.
-An elf ranger transmogrified into a crossbow, flesh contorted akin to a meaty Targetmaster, the muscular bow-wielding arms as the arms of the bow, grotesquely distended kidneys functioning to produce poisoned arrows of calcified toxins. The head is intact at the trigger point, albeit with the eyes extended on stalks to the front to improve aim, but with a grotesquely stretched jaw that may be opened at will both the feed it more calcium and poison for its bolts and to wield it, pulling the tongue as the trigger.
-A dwarven fighter transformed into a shield. It is a seeming wall of hair, with a network of fleshy "mycelia" produced from its old body. It can bite through stone with the many jaws embedded in its body, though it is miserable all the time it does so. It hates being bathed
Do you think the evil violin whose owner can feed it with the blood of others for their own gain, and the evil dice whose owner can feed it with the bad luck of others for their own gain, are friends?
