I've been rethinking my approach to an evil version of John Egbert.
After the game, John starts sliding into a depression that seems endless, both as a result of what he's gone through and just because everyone he knows and loves has changed very fundamentally while it feels like he himself stayed the same. As a result of all the retcons and the changes people underwent that he missed out on, he earnestly feels like his connections with a lot of his old friends have been severed. They still care about him, but the dynamic is different. The old connection is gone. His friends have largely moved on. So, John stumbles across the idea that the happy ending they got wasn't happy enough. That if he does things right then he can go back and fix everything. Make it so that everyone makes it out alive.
So far, same as the original Evil John idea, right? Well, this time... it works. No strings attached. Everyone lives. Everyone is happy. John did it.
And that doesn't fix anything. In fact, it makes things even worse, because now John's friends are even more different from the way he remembers them and now he has even less grounds to connect to them on. Even John's own father, whom he personally managed to save, feels different. There lives don't line up with his. He can't connect to his loving father alive baking in the kitchen when John still remembers his corpse.
John doesn't consider that a major factor in this disconnect is his own struggle with depression and dissociation. The problem is internal and he keeps looking for external causes. As John continues to self isolate and push his friends away to continue his spiral, the more he seems to almost blame them for it. They aren't his real friends. They don't feel right. Act right. Remember right. It's not him it's them. After everything he did for them too.
John comes to the conclusion that the problem is rooted in his Retcon Powers. The Treasure... broke him free. He's outside it now. Outside fate and the narrative and everything. His friends aren't. And when he looks at them from that angle... it all makes sense. They're all so stilted, aren't they? Bound by cause and effect, tied to linear time. Only going forward, always forward in time, who does that? There are so many different directions you can move in. Have you ever tried to move up in time? What do you mean that doesn't make sense, Dave!?
Every time John tries to talk about this, his friends only get more concerned. Every time they try to reach out because of it, John shuns them harder because "I'm not the ine with the problem!" The disconnect widens until John stops thinking of them as people.
They're just characters, aren't they? John's the only one who escaped the story. As far as he's concerned, John Egbert is the only one who actually exists.
John's tired of writing a happy ending for characters. He's going to write a happy ending for himself. One where his friends never outgrew him, no one ever died. It never stopped being his birthday.
John uses the Treasure to break Time itself. Snapping the timeline in half like a kitkat right at the point his birthday ends. Now John's friends of the future, immediately aware that something has gone horribly wrong due to Aradia and Dave immediately sensing it, need to fix what happened so they don't stop existing, while John's friends of the past gradually start to realize something is wrong. They just... stop at a certain point in time and restart the day like nothing happened. Stop existing because there's no time present for them to exist in, then reset with varyingly vague memories of the experience. Not existing like that, even temporarily, is not a fun experience. It's eternity in there. Where The Stop happens.
John vicariously lives through his past self, keeping everything in line. No changes, stay on script. As the Past Friends become increasingly aware of their situation, they try to see how much they're allowed to change. They only know Future John as The Director, as they only ever see bits and pieces of him and he only interacts to "keep them on script". Disembodied arms moving everything in their rooms around as they sleep before the "scene" begins to keep everything in place.
Karkat knows he's written the "ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN" speech before countless times. But his body moves to type it anyways. He can't see them, but he knows The Arms are moving him around like a doll.
That's about all I've got right now! I call it 4/13stuck! Enjoy!
controlling like puppets on a string. untouchable from the very thing that causes him pain.
CG: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN
CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.
CG: IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.
CG: I HAVE WATCHED YOUR ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE UNFOLD.
CG: I HAVE OBSERVED YOU WHILE YOU WOULD QUAKE AND TREMBLE IN PERSONAL PRAYERS OF SHAME.
CG: WHILE YOU.....
CG: WHILE....
CG: FUCK.
CG: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TYPED THAT STUPID MESSAGE?
CG: JUST HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE GONE THROUGH THIS STUPID ORDEAL, JOHN?
EB: what?
EB: you're not supposed to know.
CG: THERE'S ONLY SO MANY TIMES YOU CAN TYPE ABOUT HATING SOMEONE BEFORE YOU REMEMBER THE WORDS BEFORE YOU TYPE THEM.
EB: you aren't supposed to know!!!!
EB: this isn't how it goes!!!!!
EB: argh!!!! you ruined it!! you ruined it karkat!!!!
CG: RUINED WHAT, EXACTLY? YOUR META TANTRUM? YOUR PUPPETING OF THESE EVENTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL WE'RE DELUDED WITH VISIONS OF OUR PAST SELVES?
CG: EVEN SKAIA WASN'T THIS OBVIOUS. HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS STUPID THING?
EB: as many as i want! as many times as it takes to get right.
EB: to feel like it did the first time.
EB: and you are supposed to be confessing to me!!!!!
CG: THAT'S CRUEL, JOHN. EVEN FROM YOU.
CG: ARE YOU THAT EGOTYSTICAL THAT YOU'LL RELIVE THE MOMENT I BLUNDER THE BEGINNING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP TO ME BY CONFESSING THE MOST EMBARRESSING HATE I'VE EVER HELD FOR A PERSON!?
EB: yes because it is my moment!!!
EB: our moment.
EB: we get to say hi when i know you!!!!!
EB: its one of my favourites....and you ruined it. and now we'll have to start over again!
EB: why couldn't you just do it right?
CG: BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ISN'T.
CG: I CAN SEE THE STRINGS YOU'VE TIED TO ME AND MY FRIENDS.
CG: THE HANDS THAT PUSH AND PULL US TO ACT JUST RIGHT. JUST FOR YOU.
CG: AND MAYBE YOU WANTED THIS CONFRONTATION, JOHN, BECAUSE ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL THEM. YOU WOULD'VE STOPPED ME FROM THE BEGINNING OF THIS MEMO IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE CONFRONTED.
CG: ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR TRUE CONNECTION YOU WOULD MANIPULATE THE SITUATION FOR CONFRONTATION TO HAPPEN?
EB: you could always say the truth.
CG: I GET IT. I'M WEAK AND POWERLESS AND CAN'T STOP YOU.
CG: EVEN IF I WANTED TO.
CG: WHAT A CRUEL JOKE TO PLAY, JOHN EGBERT.
EB: fuck you.
CG: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A STUTID FUCKASS.
EB: what now?
CG: ISN'T THAT UP TO YOU? I CAN'T DO SHIT. POWERLESS KARKAT VANTAS AT THE HANDS OF JOHN EGBERT, ALL POWERFUL PSYCHO WHO THINKS THE DEFINITION OF PERFECT IS LITERALLY RELIVING THE DAY'S EVENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
EB: it was nice talking to you again, karkat.
EB: really talking.
EB: and for what it's worth i'll totally feel guilty over this for a while!
CG: JUST PUT ME BACK IN THE TIMELINE, IDIOT. I'M OVER THIS CONVERSATION.
EB: i'll miss you.
CG: WHO'S CONFESSING TO WHO NOW?
CG: SEE YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE FUCKING ME OVER AGAIN.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
