#evrtxt

[everloste]

heads up: being playfully rude with strangers is just being rude

[everloste]

oh holy fuck my birthday is tomorrow

[everloste]

i have such a complicated relationship with the holidays.

like... when my dad finally realised i didnt believe in santa clause, he concocted this asinine plan to give me coal for christmas. this is very in character for him as an abusive narcissist. he thought he was soo funny... but because the family was together for the holidays there were a lot more people around willing to judge the absolute shit out of him. he spent the rest of the day being yelled at by his family and thats pretty funny.

which is a pretty good microcosm of my feelings overall

[everloste]

i hate trying to do things at my own pace just to make sure im actually doing them for myself... im slow as fuck!

[everloste]

i think its rly funny that people who know me think im rly smart when all of them have a higher education than i do. like goddamn if i wasnt so disabled itd be over for you bitches.

[everloste]

happy valentines day. i love all of you who see my posts. even if you're not following me directly, it makes me feel so happy being able to share my existence with even a few willing souls. take care of yourself today, lovely.

[everloste]

trying to start using my main like i should: reblogging everything i feel like and making text posts abt whatever, whenever. why the fucks it so hard to be a person online man wtf

[everloste]

im sure its just the usual ebb and flow of my mental illness but god do i hate the impulse to socially withdraw because "youve already said too much and they think ur annoying for never having fun shit to talk abt anyway"

the solution is to take lots of breaks and make an effort to focus on other people in conversation for a while but thats hard when every topic of discussion is either one you cannot relate to or one you have trauma abt.

so ive mostly been taking breaks.