WHEN THE PARTY ENDS ’
summary — theodore is slowly losing himself after breaking up with reader, and only she can help solve the problem.
based on this ask
warnings — alcoholism, underage partying, toxic relationships, throwing up, suggestiveness, angst, fluff if u squint
a/n— i kinda hate this but let me know if u guys enjoyed n want more
you had noticed. noticed theodores steady decline since you two broke up. you wouldn’t ever admit it, but you always would keep an eye on the boy. you truly cared about him. you probably always would. you knew things about him that nobody else ever would. about his relationship with his father, about how he deals with his mothers death, all of which he buried deep down.
you broke up for a number of reasons. you two argued a lot, often too alike and mutually headstrong for your own good. you could admit to your faults. you often fought fire with fire, throwing harsh words his way at the drop of a dime. you would gey made easily, jealous, upset. theodore thought you were too good for him, and you thought you weren’t enough for him. there was a lack of communication, too. mostly from theodore. he never learned how to do all that relationship stuff, anyways.
you started putting together the pieces when you saw his tired eye bags one day in class, the type he got when he was hungover. but then they started showing daily, and more prominently. and sometimes, when you would walk past him in the hallway, you could smell the alcohol on him. smell the bad decisions.
but tonight, it confirmed all your suspicions. you had gotten to the party, not expecting to see theodore there. he knew he couldn’t talk to you, at all. and god, did that kill him. he had to take what he could get, eyeing you from across the room the whole night instead. you couldn’t stop yourself from keeping an eye on him, considering his behavior lately.
you tried to brush it off as just him partying like everyone else, but you did notice how he was going overboard with the alcohol. everytime you looked at him, which was often— he was taking another shot of fireball. throwing back glass after glass of the dark liquid. it wasnt until you noticed his behavior, that you began to worry.
you could read him well, maybe almost too well for your own good. you knew exactly how he acted when he was drunk, and when he was wasted beyond return. right now, he was absolutely plastered. he was being more crude, more aggressive. holding on to the bottle like it was his dignity.
he also hadn’t gotten off that couch once since you arrived, so clearly he was here for one thing only. alcohol.
you tried to shove it off your mind, push the pull of him away from you, and ignore it. but you couldn’t. not when he had the same pretty look in his eyes as he did when he was looking at you.
you wouldn’t ignore it.
you pulled yourself up out of the couch far away from his, walking over. you came in front of him, in his eyeview, and it was like he died and came back to life. he almost looked at you as if you were life itself. you spoke. “theo— you’re drunk.” he rolled his eyes, laughing humorlessly.
“yeah? since when do you give a fuck, hm?” he smirked. you knew he wouldn’t be talking like that if he wasn’t drunk. in fact, he probably wouldn’t be talking at all. he hadnt been social with anyone since the breakup. “stop acting like that. c’mon— get up.” he seemed hesitant, staying seated for a moment before you spoke again. “please.” you muttered under your breath. you didnt like begging. he knew that.
he rolled his hazy eyes, getting up clumsily. you grabbed his shoulder to steady him, feeling him tense up under you. you saw him regain his balance, letting your hand drop. “c’mon.” you mumbled, letting him follow from behind you. you two desperately tried to squeeze between the party space, theodore grounding himself with his hands on your waist; a choice of sheer necessity. or at least that’s what he’d tell himself.
you eventually made it to the door of the room, leading him outside. his hands embarrassingly dropped from your sides, as he looked down. he followed you, biting his nails on the way. you still made him nervous, even if he didn’t wanna admit it.
he really looked at you, now. analyzed you. you looked the same, nothing much had changed. just as pretty as when he left you. unaffected. like it didnt even bother you. he envied that. he wanted to be like that. but instead, he was slowly crumbling in on himself. he truly was lost without you. he had given up the one thing that kept him sane.
you eventually came to a door, and he recognized it as his. “you have your keys?” you asked. theodore answered with a shrug, watching you roll your eyes as you checked his pockets for him. god, he could barely even stand. you suddenly found his keys, sitting in his back pocket. you opened his door for him, letting him follow. this room was so familiar to you. you and theodore had spent countless nights here, countless days. you shuddered the feeling away, turning to theo and getting him to sit down on his bed.
he had a record playing, it was an old song. you recognized it. ‘mio amore’ by the flamingos. he always liked that song. you searched around his room for some water, finding a plastic bottle and handing it to him. theodore looked fucked. his hair was messed up, skin pale, eyebags heavy. you felt almost, bad for him. you heard him speak. “why are you even here?” you bit down nervously on your bottom lip, shrugging.
“i knew you probably wouldn’t make it home by yourself.” he laughed, genuinely. that was the first time he did in a while. “and that bothered you?” he asked. you smiled, nodding. this felt so good to him. like he’d been deprived of food for months, and just got a taste of it. it felt like how you two used to be, when things were good. they had known eachother since first year. they had lost their virginity to eachother. he couldn’t forget her. he wouldn’t. he was too attached.
“y/n?” he spoke, you looking up at him. waiting for him to continue. “i feel really fuckin’ nauseous.” you quickly shot up, grabbing his wrist and practically dragging him to the bathroom. the last thing you were gonna do in this boys room, was be thrown up on.
you watched him kneel over the toilet, deciding to sit on the tub next to him. he sat there for a minute, before he eventually threw up. you instinctively rubbed his back, but quickly retracted your hand once you realized what you were doing. you couldn’t do that anymore. you weren’t together. you handed him a water bottle, watching him chug it down.
he leaned his back against the wall, his breathing returning back to normal. his head dropped to his hands, chest rising and falling. “you okay?” you asked, left with no answer. he felt close to you, sitting right at your feet. maybe a bit too close. you were lost looking at his hair, before he spoke. “can you sit with me?” you nodded, moving to sit across from him on the bathroom floor. the cold tile against your bare legs made you shiver.
he finally looked up, and something was off. he looked, upset. almost like he was close to breaking. close to giving up. “theo, what’s wrong?” you asked. and it was like he shattered. he started to break down, crying into your arms. your brows furrowed, hand stroking his back as his forehead rested on your shoulder. “i just— i really fucked up. bad.” you frowned, looking down at the boy who was once your everything.
“everything’s shit since we broke up, amore. i’ve become a shitty person.” he spoke. you sighed, rubbing his palms. you knew him inside out. how to calm him down, how to make him mad, how to keep him sane. “you’re arent a bad person theo. truly, you aren’t.” he shook his head, hands shakily grasping yours. grounding himself.
“i miss you so bad, cara mia. i regret it every day. im sorry— im so sorry.” he spoke, crying into your chest. “it’s okay, theo. please dont cry.” you spoke, lifting his head from your chest, holding his face with your palms. you looked at his face, analyzing it. he looked hurt. deeply hurt.
you knew you’d probably regret it, but you kissed his forehead. right on his temple. “im sorry too. okay? c’mon theo, let’s get you to bed.” you murmured, him nodding. he took your hands off his face, holding them in his own. he pressed gentle kisses along the ridges, looking at your eyes just like how he used to. when you meant everything that ever mattered to him.
and maybe that was because you still did. you stood up, him following suit. stumbling just a little. you guided him to his bed, laying him down. he groaned, sighing. you watched as he sat up, pulling the black polo off his body. you spoke, “you feel better?” he subtly shook his head, not even bothering to answer.
he laid back down, his hair looking messy, eyes tired, a fucking mess. you dimmed the light by his side, his eyes eye level with your lower half. you were about to turn to leave, before you felt his hand reach out. pulling you by your hip. “can you stay?” he slurred out, you replying with a sigh. “theo— we cant.” he quickly shook his head, speaking. “no— no—- god, not sex, y/n. just stay with me. please.”
you rolled your eyes, sighing again. “i dont have clothes.” he shuffled, pulling a basket out from under his bed. he set it on the bed, pushing it to you. it was filled with your stuff. your pajamas, makeup, shit you had left here. if you didn’t understand theo, you’d probably think it was creepy. but you knew he kept it for reasons. reasons of his own.
“fine. whatever.” you murmured, sliding the skirt and top off your body, putting on the pajamas. it was barely even nighttime wear; a pair of panties and a tank top. he zoned out on your body. he hadn’t seen it in so long. he liked you better bare. you climbed into the bed, laying next to him. he spoke, “can i still touch you?” you shrugged, biting your lower lip. “yeah— i guess. but we aren’t fucking.”
he quickly nodded. he threw a lazy arm over your stomach, hand splayed out across it. he kissed the spot underneath your ear, the warmest spot on your body. he knew that. you laid like that, willingly. with him. because part of you did love him still. no— all of you did. inside and out.
and you swore, before you felt him fall asleep, you heard him whisper that he loved you too.
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