You Still Have Me
Word Count: 1,269
Read on AO3
Summary: Janus wishes to be a priority in someone's life, even if that someone doesn't really know what to do with his tears.
Prompt: Hurt/comfort Loceit for @virgeandhis-pocket-protector
Inspired by @sleepyvirgilprompts post that can be found here
Written for Camp Cartoon, @tss-camp-and-coffee
Janus knew he was selfish. Why else would he want to cry from seeing Virgil sobbing in Patton's arms? Just because Virgil used to turn to him when the world became too much to bear shouldn't matter. After all, Janus knew that he couldn't be the person Virgil turned to any more.
Too many hurtful words were said and too much time had passed for their relationship to ever go back to what once was. All because Janus had asked Virgil to chose him over his friends. Janus realized that he simply wouldn't.
Virgil claimed to not being able to chose, but he inadvertently had chosen the Main Sides over and over again.
It made Janus want to scream, but Janus was past that point. Even before reaching his room, Janus succumbed to his tears.
Janus was curled up into himself in a little nook that should have been out of sight and away from earshot, which was the only reason he had indulged in his pathetic tears before he reached the isolation of his room.
Thats where Logan found him.
Janus should have know better than to cry anywhere but his room, but he tried to put on a facade of anger so that Logan would leave him to his tears.
It didn't work. In fact, Logan didn't say anything when Janus glared up at him from his hiding spot, but Logan did offer a blue handkerchief embroidered with planets and stars. Janus thought Logan would leave after that, but he didn't.
Logan sat down. He wasn't touching Janus, but when Janus leaned forward to collapse into Logan's shoulder, Logan easily wrapped a comforting arm around the hurting side.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Logan asked, his voice low and soothing, but still hesitant. Janus felt his throught tighten at the thought of explaining just how selfish he was, so he shook his head no. He needed to at least stop the tears from pouring down his face first.
Logan froze for a couple of seconds as he thought about what he could possibly do. Whenever he found Patton crying, all Patton needed was a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk through his problems with. Roman wanted someone to indulge his theatrics but needed someone to ground him to reality when he lost complete control of himself and his emotions. Virgil typically wanted to be hidden away out of sight, but recently he started going to Patton to be held when he felt really bad.
What did Janus need? As Logan tried to think through his options, Janus tears continued to flow, but not as intensely as before. Honestly, Logan was floundering. He was not equipped to deal with this as effectively as he wished.
"I'm sorry that I can't help you more," Logan sighed. He might as well be clear about his short comings so Janus could send him away if that was what he truly wished. Logan thought of rubbing circles on Janus back but thought better of it. They weren't that close, not yet. Logan didn't want to overstep when Janus was clearly in a vulnerable position.
So Logan's free arm hovered over Janus, showcasing just how lost Logan felt. Yet despite feeling awkward, Logan stayed (which is much more than any of the others ever did). Logan settled on providing a distraction from whatever was bother Janus. To fill the silence, he began rambling.
"Did you know that crying is rather beneficial?" Logan said just loud enough to be heard over Janus' sniffles. Janus shook his head no. He only had thought of crying as a mark of weakness.
"It is! Crying is associated with a release of numerous beneficial endorphins and allows negative stress hormones to be expelled from the body. In fact one study said…"
Janus nodded along, giving his full attention to Logan. Logan found it nice to be listened to. Janus liked that someone cared to talk to him. Besides, the research Logan brought up made Janus feel less guilty over crying.
As Janus was soothed by Logan's words, he slowly began joining the conversation by asking Logan to elaborate on a point or by adding his own tidbit of knowledge. It delighted Logan to see that despite his initial awkwardness, he was still able to comfort Janus.
Not long after Janus had been drawn out of his shell, Logan felt a tugging in his chest. Patton was trying to summon him. The tug was insistent.
Janus sighed, knowing that Logan's duty as logic must come first over him. "You should probably go. Our dear Morality probably needs help dealing with Virgil." Janus was able to speak and could easily make it to his room now. The others probably needed Logan more, so why did Logan not move?
Logan lifted an eyebrow as he looked into the confusion leaking past Janus' indifference. "I may not be the best at emotions, but I believe the reason you are upset has something to do with Virgil seeking comfort from Patton. I've noticed how difficult you've been taking the change in Virgil's behavior despite your efforts to conceal it. Virgil can have Patton and Roman, but you have me."
Janus tried to push Logan off of him so he would finally go do his job. "Logan, we both know that you have a job to do. Thanks to your assistance, but I am perfectly fine now," Janus hissed, still trying to get Logan to finally leave him there to go to the others. Logan noticed how Janus didn't try to stand or move away himself. No, he was expecting Logan to leave him.
Logan pursed his lips and held Janus harder, causing him to squeak. Then, in his low, calming voice, Logan reassured, "You don't have to be alone when you still have me."
Janus stilled. He took a deep breath in, then small tears began welling in Janus eyes.
Logan's brain once again short circuited because of the precious side's tears. "Uhhhh, I'm sorry. I uh, didn't mean to cause you any distress."
Janus looked at Logan's flustered face and a smirked at him. Then a giggle started bubbling up Janus' chest. A giggle.
"Are you laughing at me?" Logan asked incredulously.
Janus snorted, "What if I am? Its not like I find it endearing how you can be so awkward and amazingly comforting at the same time."
Logan tilted his head, his brow still furrowed in confusion. "Thank you?"
Janus snuggled deeper into Logan's chest. "You're such a dork, but thats alright. I wouldn't want you any other way, " Janus said, booping Logan's nose. Then he grew solemn, "But… do you mean it?"
Logan smiled softly, the tension melting away from his body. He snapped a fluffy yellow blanket into existence and wrapped it around himself and Janus. His voice becoming even more soft than before as he caressed the green scales on Janus cheek, Logan replied in a whisper, "You will always have me, no matter what the others need of me or ways you try to push me away. I… I think I love you Janus."
Janus closed his eyes as he took in Logan's warmth. "How strange. Because I believe I am in love with you as well." Janus felt his cheeks flush, but he stayed curled into Logan's chest.
Exhausted by the emotionally charged day, they both gave into the peaceful warmth of sleep as they held each other in their arms.
If the other sides noticed the blue handkerchief that Janus started carrying around after that day, none of them commented on it.