#excuse it

[radioactive-earthshine]

Ngl I find it odd that there are a number of fans for Wally that genuinely believe that because he was abused himself and is mentally ill, he is therefore absolved from any wrongdoing with Bart EVER and any conversation about his shortcomings are invalid unless his own past is taken into consideration. Being in this fandom for over 20 years, closer to 30 if we count early childhood, I can honestly say this is fairly recent behavior.

Wally isn't a real character, first and foremost. He has no thoughts of his own and has zero agency. His history is a story of abuse, trauma, growth, and love in all its messiness, so it's weird to me to see such dense approaches to him.

Yes, his own anxiety, trauma, and abuse is a factor that explains his approach to Bart - but also he is a jerk and there is no way around it. He was written as not believing in Bart and his capabilities and outright refused to meet him where he actually was and was a bully in many such cases. These are facts. The story still unfolded the way it did for a reason. It means something. But that meaning is so very seldom looked for in many readers who want only to pay attention to the best and excuse the worst.

[nitetrait]

[hcseokie]

💫

[ladiablesse]

now that i’m like talking to a dude who’s actually (from the looks of it) normal i’m actually being reminded a lot of how shittily i was treated by the last guy i liked n it makes me so mad how much shit i let slide and how many times i let him off the hook. he was such as asshole and every time i got close to letting him know how much if an asshole he was id soften my words or change my mind or whatever bc i knew he was dealing w mental health issues

[brokendrums]

Unexpectedly came across the sky arts documentary about the last blur album and it has reignited my love for blur (not that it has dimmed very much) but like seriously, the things Damon and Graham say about each other make my insides turn into jelly and I am so happy they're at this place and it absolutely makes my life to hear them praise each other and say they're proud of each other. but it makes me think of my reaction to Niall and Harry and I wonder if I'm in Too Deep or if I've been desensitised by the abundance of ~shipping moments~ and access to narry that I'll never be truly satisfied. Like is it because I'm not bombarded with footage of blur that everything feels so much more special? Or is it that there is so much honesty in it? Like does the angsty history make this so much sweeter? (Actually this maybe correlates with my supreme enjoyment of inflicting pain in fic??) Like I'd love more but I'm super happy with what I've got but when it comes to 1D I feel like I want moreeeeee. I want collaboration and speaking from the heart and apologies over Eccles cakes on doorsteps in London and writing together and painnnnn through the medium of song. Maybe I'll appreciate it so much more when I finally finally finally get some post hiatus narry interaction.

[dawn-grey]

I feel so nice. Everything is so good? It seems good. A few old friends seem to be okay too. It makes me so happy. Ich liebe dich. Du bist mein beste freunden.

[fantasticgaygirl]

I really just need to get this all out, so, please forgive the rant. It started back in January, right before my birthday. I traveled back, away from my family with you. I did everything I could to be there for you. & then, you didn't know what you wanted. You were so unsure. & I fought for you. I fought for you so fucking hard. Every day it was back & forth. You wanted to be with me, & then you didn't. & I just kept fighting for you. We were engaged for fucks sake! You don't just give up on the person you're gonna spend forever with. You don't just let them go. I begged. For days I begged. & then came my 21st birthday, & I snuck you into the bar with me. I got so drunk & the most vivid memory I have is when I asked my cousin why you don't love me. She kept telling me that you did, because why else would you stay to take care of me? You cleaned me up when I got sick on myself & then we went to bed. I remember crying in the middle of the night because I was afraid we had done something that I knew you wouldn't be okay with. You assured me we hadn't & tucked me back in bed. We woke up early that morning & you left me. Again. In so many more ways than one. Valentine's Day came & I spent all the money I had on a gift for you. Because you were still going back & forth. I thought I could convince you to stay. That I loved you. & that that was enough. It didn't work. For months you went back & forth. You wanted me, you didn't. You wanted me. You didn't. You wanted me. & then.. You didn't. You said we should be friends. So. I forced myself to get on board with that because I was going to have you in any way I could. I needed you in my life. & then, slowly, I really realized that we could just be friends. It's the end of May. We kept breaking up so many times. Over & over again. You broke me so many times that it doesn't even hurt anymore. I'm trying to figure out how long is an appropriate time to get over the person that I was prepared to spend my life with. But then I remember something I saw a while ago. It was something along the lines of "if you teach me to live without you, don't be surprised when I can." & that's how I feel right now. You taught me how to be without you. You taught me that I would be fine without you. Because you left. You always left. That doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. It hurts so much some days, & others not at all. I see your picture, or wear your old hoodie & the pain ebbs into my chest a little more than before. But. I'm okay without you. I will be okay without you. I miss you, more than I could explain. But, I'm fine without you. & I will continue to be fine. But, what is an appropriate time line for grieving a person who isn't dead? How long do I have to feel bad about not needing you, before I can just move on? Because I'm so tired of hurting.