the greater april fool.
April Fool's Day is weird. By which I mean - April Fool's Day sucks. Usually the prank consists of something that's just mean spirited and not a prank at all. You get punched in the face. What was that for, you ask. April Fools, they say.
They totally got you.
Although it'd be in the spirit of the day for me to lie and say that those are the only kind April Fool's Day 'pranks' I encounter, they're not. But if I were to say that, if I were to say that the only pranks I fall victim to on April the 1st of any given year are simply mean spirited bullyings, you would believe me. And why wouldn't you believe me?
This of course brings me to the second most common genre of misdirected Fool's deed: somebody tells you something, anything. And you, being a normal person with the standard and logical amount of trust in your fellow man, decide to believe them. Oh, what a fool you are. You should have known better than to have such blind trust in your girlfriend when she called you in a frenzy and announced that she, as a result of some sort of misfire, your misfire, is now carrying a human parasite inside of her abdomen that shares half of your DNA. How could you have been so foolish to take this person, who you have made an implied oath to place a massive amount of trust in, at her word? You are so dumb.
I think there's some sort of universal desire for people to be the kind of person that plays pranks. Someone who's light-hearted and goofy and witty and creative - but the problem with this whole situation is that the light-hearted, goofy, witty, and creative guy is great because anything he does is completely without motive: it's great because it's pointless and nonsensical. Just for fun. But to orchestrate pranks weeks in advance in order to carry them out on this specific day is to be a tourist in that persona - which is in direct conflict of the persona itself. The prankster does not meticulously cultivate his archetype. It's just who he is.
You're probably thinking, "alright Teddy. This is exhausting. Why can't you just accept the day for what it is? Stop being so condescending." But the jokes on you. That was just a character I was playing - a character that's cynical and overly-analytic and just a general chore to be around. Somebody who acts superior just because other people are having more fun than him. Not me, just a character.
I totally got you.
Fool.