#exmateria

[leopardos]

closed / @exmateria​

the blood trickled, the rill steady from his nose to his upper lip, from his cheek to his beard, the taste raw and metallic on his wounded tongue. it trickled down his face and down his abdomen and mixed with the blood of the stab wounds there and fused with the fabric underneath the kevlar staining it strand by strand. for all that was going on and all the noise, he could hardly focus on anything other than the ground, his eyes fixated on the rubble to  his side, on the gun he was just forced to drop, his lips parted, his sighs loud as he kept on ignoring the barrel of the gun pointed right at the center of his head.

“tell us where the fuck she is,” the man ordered, probably expecting to be looked at. probably expecting him to start bargaining, pleading, insulting, anything. he could tell, because of the edge of irritation to it. “tell us, and you might just come out of this alive. this has nothing to do with you.”

he licked his lips, continued to look at the floor. he thought about the mess they made of his apartment. he thought about the picture frames they broke for no reason, the book pages ripped and plates shattered. 

“don’t make me repeat myself --“

“just fucking shoot him,” finally, the other one went. the voice larger this time, its impatience even more severe. “it’ll be easy to look for her with him outta the way. come on. do it now.”

he met their gazes then, his head shifting just the necessary amount. he coughed, as if struggling to speak, and it made them pause, expectant. the air could cut glass. and he opened his mouth, spitting on the ground a bloody phlegm, and slumping back more against the wall. by the time he gunshot came, he’d already stopped looking at them.

[loveoaths]

@exmateria​ offered an ultimatum:  "I won't protect you this time... if you leave again." / akatsuki verse

a threat, a lie, a plea for help — all lose their edge when murmured into the crook of a slender neck.

haku combs their fingers through blonde hair and says nothing for a long time. too long, judging by the tension knot furling in naruto’s back. haku lays a hand there, too, followed by a chaste kiss and a gentle pressure atop his tailbone. this is the way haku invites naruto into their new life: quietly, patiently, purposefully.

❛      One day,      ❜ haku says when naruto is nearly asleep, his face nestled against haku’s chest. ❛      One day, you will understand that we are not enemies, but allies. We protect each other, Naruto-kun. We always have. We always will.      ❜

[mononoavvare]

naruto pokes his cheek "where you've been?"

     Crinkling his nose at him doesn’t halt the onslaught. The absolute assault on his cheek. Naruto’s hand is unbelievably warm even with the bare minimum contact and Sai can feel his body heat radiating out from him even all the way over here and he smells good and Sai just wants to lean in and put his own hands on Naruto’s face and -- 

          Well, this is a little much.

     Carefully Sai takes Naruto’s finger in his hands and he pulls it away from his face, because he is capable of being perfectly civil and Naruto is just Like That, which is one of the many things Sai loves about him. Tilting his head curiously, he replies, “I have been nowhere, Naruto. What about you?” 

     Nowhere: no place. a place that is remote, uninteresting, or nondescript. Sai supposes perhaps ‘uninteresting’ and ‘nondescript’ are objective, but he’d certainly been bored out of his skull enough on his little foray into the Land of Islands that he thinks it qualifies. He can still smell the sea-- it clings to his pores like it belongs there, even though he’s been away from it for more than a week now. 

     He doesn’t let go of Naruto’s hand. He’d missed him. “Oh-- I brought you something,” Sai murmurs to himself, rooting around in his pocket and pulling out a smooth piece of blue sea-glass. Turning Naruto’s hand over, he settles it in the center, and then pats his palm. “There. From nowhere.” 

@exmateria   ///   and the silhouettes moving in the bright lights behind the curtains looked like you I stopped moving momentarily

[loveoaths]

@exmateria​ laughed:     They're walking down the street after food and drinks with their friends. Naruto is laughing and yelling at something funny, who the hell knows. The streetlife is busy, the night is wild, and everything feels right. Without looking, he reaches out for Haku’s hand, grabbing it and lacing their fingers together, then finally looks down and brings Haku’s hand to his lips, cheekily kissing their knuckles.

the life of a shinobi is a life of stolen moments preciously guarded, of treasures palmed from the wreckage of the spirit and secreted in the heart. these moments aren’t built to last because shinobi aren’t made to believe in anything outside the mission or love anyone except their country.

so this, then — the broad, calloused fingers tangling with their slim digits; the full lips brushing against moon-scarred knuckles with a cheeky smile; the abrupt hitch of haku’s honey heartbeat; the dark night echoing with distant laughter and the wet look of the streetlights — this is a renegade moment composed of a million fragmented wants and half-baited breaths. the street lamps wreath naruto’s beaming face in a fluorescent halo, curly spools of blonde hair pooling against the uzumaki’s sun-dark shoulders like molten gold. haku’s startled gasp is a breathless thing in the face of so much raw beauty. if they tug him into the nearest alleyway to capture that heaven-bent grin with their lips, it is only because they are all too aware how precious, how threatened these moments really are.

someplace, somewhere, a war is brewing, a plot is hatching, and blood is running — but just for tonight they are in a world of their own, far away from the dirt and rot and death and disease.

normally naruto is full of remarks about haku’s height, but between the lightning-quick foot that slips behind his ankle to knock him off balance, the deceptively slender hand fisted in his shirt tugging his mouth toward theirs, and the strong hand cupping his jaw and dragging crescent nails along his neck, naruto doesn’t manage more than a startled yelp. lips meet hungrily, desperately, as a sudden panic seizes haku and turns their veins to ice: they are running out of time. naruto is the sun: he is loved by everyone, and he loves someone else, too. he cannot be theirs forever.

because if haku is the dusk before naruto’s burning dawn, then sasuke is the dark of night. they’ve only talked about sasuke once before, and it was more than enough for haku. deep down, haku knows dusk pales before the black domain of night, knows that same as dusk always gives way to the pitch of night they, too, must eventually give way to sasuke. it was the kind thing to do.

but that time is not now. right here, right now, all haku knows is the crush of naruto’s mouth against theirs. the taste of ramen and alcohol and saliva, the dark hum of the kyuubi’s chakra radiating from naruto’s belly, the strong arms that wrap around their waist and the little whine in the back of naruto’s throat. haku’s blood burns with the full-weight of naruto’s attention. they feel drunk on his taste, on how good it feels to want and pretend to be wanted in return.

haku breaks the kiss with a quiet gasp, runs their thumb over the punch-drunk slant of naruto’s swollen mouth as naruto slumps against the wall and tries to catch his breath. they toss their hair with a smirk, the pride in their eyes sharp and content. they always did know how to handle him. the panic in their belly uncoils. with a giggle they lean in, lashes fluttering against naruto’s temple as they cling to him, before they shift to press six kisses to naruto’s burning cheeks, one for each whisker mark.

❛  You are so full of light, Uzumaki Naruto,  ❜  haku breathes, half-hoping the words will be swallowed by the sudden swell of wind that whistles through the alleyway like an omen,   ❛ Brighter than any sun, moon, or star. I do not believe in divine design, but when I look at you, at who you have become and who you will still yet become, it is hard to believe in anything but.     ❜

[loveoaths]

@neoninjutsu / @exmateria snarled: “i would have torn apart the world to get you back.”- Naruto

❛ I am starting to think you delight in breaking my heart. ❜

the two of them have turned this small forest into a battlefield — and isn’t that fitting, haku thinks, as they watch naruto rend through tree trunks with his bare claws, wood smoke sizzling and bursting beneath the corrupted burn of the kyūbi’s cloak from their hiding spot. they had come once again to talk to him, but it seems just the sight of them is enough to destabilize the jinchuriki’s control over the bijū.

pein would be fascinated. which is precisely why they have no intention of telling him.

they wait until he’s slightly calmer before stepping out of the shadows opposite him and re-emerging high in the boughs of a sequoia.

❛ I know, ❜ haku adds after a moment. ❛ I would have done the same for you. Yet I stand in front of you now and you run away. Please listen to me. You know I would never lie to you. I... ❜ they pause, doe eyes gentle, wounded, hopeful. if it is a mask, it is one they believe in. ❛ I miss you, Naruto-kun. Stop fighting for a moment and listen to me. I swear by the same promise I made that day on the bridge that I shall not harm you. ❜

[loveoaths]

@neoninjutsu​ / @exmateria​ sneered: "So, what happened to protecting those precious to you?" - naruto to akatsuki!haku

the strength of a jinchuriki is beyond anything they could have imagined, but not beyond what they planned for.

haku has grown into their own skin since hyōton’s full power had awoken, but as they step from the shadows and watch the last of the kyuubi’s three tail cloak absorb into their ice mirrors, they know that this current situation was only possible because they had the element of surprise.

time works differently in this shard of the mirror world. there is no sun on this plane, only shattered remains of a dead civilization crumbling into an endless white expanse. strange buildings taller than hokage mountain glittering with broken glass. statues of strange figures disfigured by rust. pieces and pieces and pieces of broken things in a shattered place. they brought him here for a reason. 

they need him to understand.

naruto kneels in a crumpled heap surrounded by ice mirrors, his legs caught in permafrost. the kyuubi’s cloak washes over his skin like a wave, only to be sucked into the mirrors. over and over, the young man struggles to force the kyuubi’s cloak out long enough to break free, but when haku steps out of the shadows and into the sunless white light, naruto snarls. his eyes are redder than rubies and they glitter furiously, cut by the light.

haku does not blame him for his anger, the look of betrayal in his eyes. it hurts to see — haku does not hide the sadness his fury brings them. he does not understand yet, this heavy thing they are asking of him. ❛     Look at you. Despite what you have been told, even like this you are precious.    ❜

naruto spits like a wildcat. a growl clings to the back of his throat. the hair rises on the back of haku’s neck as their lips part slightly, subtly tasting the yin energy in the air like a snake scenting water.  “So, what happened to protecting those precious to you?”

haku’s smile is not a crescent. it is not a secret. it is simply pained.

❛     Oh, Naruto-kun,    ❜  they breathe. ❛     What do you think I am doing here, if not protecting you?    ❜

phasing through the mirrors takes a fraction of a second — and then they are standing before him, turning the full intensity of their piercingly earnest gaze upon him.

❛     This is a broken world built by broken people. You of all people should know that, as do I.    ❜ haku steps a small step forward, and in spite of it all their voice is soft and earnest. pleading. ❛     Akatsuki . . . they seek to create a world without suffering or pain. Would you not do anything to achieve that if you could?    ❜

they don’t know if naruto will flinch from their touch, but a cool hand brushes the damp hair from his scalding hot forehead, the sweat of his brow slowly paling into frost. their touch is tender as they cup his cheek and crouch beside him, looking into his eyes. willing him to see how much they want this. need this. how much they want him to want it too.

❛     I failed to protect those closest to me back then, but I have sworn to protect the future.     ❜ venom seeps into their voice, throat tightening even as their grip stays tender — for once, haku is hiding nothing from him. they need him to understand. ❛     This world has lied to us: we were not born monsters. We were made.  

❛     They will never accept us. Are you not tired of fighting for their scraps of acknowledgement? Do you not crave a world where you will be accepted wholesale...    ❜ their hand drops to his torso, ghosting over the kyuubi’s seal. look at him, fighting so hard to prove himself to the same people grinding his nose into the dirt. ❛    And unconditionally?    ❜

❛    The rest of Akatsuki are pawns in a larger scheme. They are destructive and chaotic because they want to be. You know I .... I am not that way.    ❜ a thumb strokes up naruto’s cheek, the tip of their fingernail ghosting the grooves of whisker scars branding his skin. ❛     I am not here because I want to hurt you, Naruto-kun. I am here because I believe in him,    ❜ haku whispers. ❛     He has a plan — he is going to make a new world for us, but we need the jinchuriki to achieve it. We need you. I need you. Will you help us reshape reality in a benevolent image? Will you help us, Naruto-kun? Will you help me?    ❜

[loveoaths]

@exmateria​ opined: "golden retrievers seem racist sometimes." naruto is in deep thought, eyes glaring towards nothing, remembering when one of kakashi’s dogs bit him in the butt.

❛     ’Sometimes’ ?”    ❜ try most of the time.

[leopardos]

@exmateria​ once sent: you’re quiet tonight.- anda + lorenzo

“am i?” is the immediate response around a lopsided, congenial smile. “i apologize, then. though in my opinion, it is you who has been uncharacteristically talkative this evening.” he is used to his appointments with signor anda being largely silent affairs, at least outside of lorenzo’s own speaking and anda’s polite answers. sometimes he put on music, which is what he’d done this time, the record of sara vaughan playing through the speakers in his studio just a few decibels above inaudible. 

and yet, despite all this being fairly correct, the truth is he had been just slightly absent-minded today. a rarity for sure, catching lorenzo in a state of less than perfect mindfulness with his client. could it have something to do with what had transpired during their last encounter?