I had the most heartbreaking conversation with my boyfriend the other day (not bad)
I was picking in the bathroom for a while, and he knows about it, so he came to the door and was like 'what are you doing in there, come cuddle me!"
So I eventually came out and just apologized that he had to deal with this. And he was kinda confused. He's kinda new to the whole thing, as well as mental illnesses in general I think. I said 'I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm sorry you have to get out of bed and come get me all the time. I'm sorry that you inadvertently have to deal with all the emotional baggage and mental struggles. I'm sorry that this is definitely not what you wanted out of this relationship."
And he said, "I'm supposed to be here for you though, and I'm the one who is supposed to help you feel better." Which is super sweet. I love him to death. He literally doesn't care at all if my face is dripping in blood or if my legs feel really rough from all the scabs and scars, he still calls me his "pretty girl". I just hope that he understands the lifetime commitment part. That if we're together for a long time, he's gonna always have to be there and always come get me from the bathroom and always deal with the emotions and it will never completely stop... it will get better, for sure, but it will never be gone. I hope he doesn't get sick of me, I guess is what I'm saying. Because he's amazing.
