-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2012-01-10 3:14PM --
TA: ii really diidn't want two beliieve the world could be thii2 cruelly iironiic but 2omehow ii'm not 2urprii2ed at how hard iit deciided two a22rape me.
TA: two thiink that the whiiney iimature romantiic fanboy who ha2 covered my da2hboard iin wall2 of 2elf iimportant obdurate opiiniion over 2tuff 2o 2tupiid iit's amaziing the uniiver2e ha2n't iimploded yet would be the very 2ame iin2anely lonely troll who wa2 crazy enough two watch that heiinou2 fuck of a moviie voluntariily at the 2ame tiime a2 me.
TA: iit would be funny iif iit wa2n't 2o 2ad on both our part2.
TA: what ii'm tryiing two 2ay ii2.
TA: hello karkat vanta2.
CG: WHAT.
CG: FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE FUCK?
CG: SECOND OF ALL, WHO THE FUCK?
CG: ACTUALLY, NO, WAIT. I'VE ONLY SEEN ONE COMPLETE AND UTTER TOOL TYPE LIKE THAT IN MY ENTIRE MISERABLE LIFE.
CG: YOU'RE THE DESPONDANT, SHITSUCKING ASSHOLE FROM TUMBLR AREN'T YOU? WOW, GREAT. JUST WHO I WANTED TO TALK TO.
CG: ACTUALLY, LET'S BACK THE FUCK UP. TURN BACK THE WHEELS OF TIME. SHIT LOOK AT US, REAL FUCKING TIME TRAVELLERS HERE. SOMEONE ALERT THE PRESS.
TA: why am ii not 2urprii2ed you don't 2hut up here eiither.
CG: YOU STFU.
CG: I'M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE ASSHAT, SO SIT ON YOUR HANDS AND SHOVE YOUR TWIDDLING THUMBS UP YOUR WASTE CHUTE.
TA: my hand2 are bu2y wiith my new nook diidn't you know?
CG: THERE ARE SO MANY LEVELS OF WRONG TO WHAT YOU JUST SAID THAT I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DISECT THEM.
TA: eheheheh that'2 the poiint bagbiiter.
CG: IN FACT, WE'RE IN A GAME NOW, AND WE'RE WORKING OUR WAY UP THROUGH THE TOWER OF DOOM ONE FLOOR AT A TIME.
CG: OH LOOK, A TREASURE CHEST! GUESS WHAT'S IN IT?
CG: IT'S A MIRROR!
CG: DO I NEED TO SPELL OUT THAT MEANING FOR YOU?
TA: not that your allegoriical deluge of metaphor2 ii2n't fa2ciinatiing but 2hut up.
TA: je2u2 ii 2houldn't have even bothered wiith thii2 iif ii had known you would be a complete tool about iit.
TA: then again ii 2houldn't have expected anythiing le22.
CG: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STEPPED OUT OF THE RACEHORSE GATE WITH THE INSULTS. HERE I WAS, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WITH THIS MESS OF BULLSHIT POPS UP ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN.
CG: BUT HEY! I GUESS I'M SUPPOSED TO BE NICEY MCKINDERSON. LET'S GO WITH THAT.
CG: HELLO, POOKIEBUN, HOW IS YOUR DAY? I HAVE BARELY ANY IDEA WHO YOU ARE BUT LET'S ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY THIS!
TA: aww are we already at the 2tage where we make 2iickeniingly cute name2 for each other? why vanta2 your romantiic way2 are 2weepiing me off my feet already. and only after one date two.
TA: darliing nubbybun2 iit ii2 ii your kniight iin mii2matched armor.
CG: RAM A COAT HANGER UP YOUR NOOK.
TA: eheheheh.
TA: 2eriiou2ly vanta2 2hut up for a 2econd and thiink who el2e ii am jeeze do ii have two 2pell iit out?
CG: I'M NOT A COMPLETE FUCKTARD, DICKWHISTLE.
CG: YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING YOUR THE LANKY SHITWAD FROM THE FESTERPUS OF A MOVIE.
TA: very good you fiinally rubbed tho2e two remaiiniing braiincell2 twogether.
CG: I GOT IT FROM THE GET GO, THANKS.
CG: I JUST HAVE MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, LIKE, OH, I DON'T KNOW!
CG: SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE CALLING ME BY NAME WHEN I'M CLEARLY DOING MY FUCKING BEST TO STAY ANONYMOUS.
CG: SEE: THE GRAY TEXT AND NO LISTED INFORMATION LEADING BACK TO ME!
TA: don't fliip your 2hiit iit'2 not liike ii'm goiing two run around 2preadiing your per2onal iinformatiion all over the world. ii'm an a22hole not a would-be murderii2t.
CG: MURDERIST ISN'T A FUCKING WORD.
CG: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU USING GRAY TEXT ANYWAY? LAST I CHECKED MOST TROLLS LIKE TO PARADE THEIR SPECIAL RAINBOW FRUITLOOP BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.
TA: fuck off on my typiing ii'm workiing at the 2ame tiime unliike 2ome people ii both have a job and actually do iit.
TA: and why the fuck 2hould ii care what color ii'm typiing iin ii ju2t do thii2 becau2e my job ii2 retarded over offendiing hiighblood2 or whatever the 2hiit el2e.
TA: geeze ii2 thii2 better?
CG: I'D ACTUALLY SAY IT MIGHT BE WORSE, BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE BULLSHIT IS MILDLY MORE DISTINGUISHABLE FROM MY OWN AT A GLANCE.
CG: AND ANOTHER THING, I AM TOO FUCKING WORKING. OR MAYBE THAT'S A LIE!
CG: GOSH, I MUST WRITE REVIEW ARTICLES ABOUT UNINSPIRING BULLSHIT FOR MY OWN FUN!
CG: I JUST LOVE PUTTING MY BULGE THROUGH A MEAT GRINDER OF STUPIDITY SEVERAL DAYS A WEEK JUST SO I CAN TELL THE BRAINLESS ZOMBIE SHEEP HORDES OF THE WORLD HOW SHITTY THINGS ARE!
CG: SLAP MY CHEEK AND CALL ME SHERRY, HOT DAMN.
CG: MR. VANTAS WE'D LIKE YOU TO COMPLETE THIS ARTICLE WITHIN THE WEEK, WE NEED TO HAVE THIS REVIEW READY WHEN THE FILM GOES HOT.
CG: MR. VANTAS, WOULD YOU PLEASE DO A CRITICAL REVIEW OF THIS BOOK? ONLY MAKE SURE IT ISN'T TOO BADLY DONE, THE WRITER IS PAYING US HANDSOMELY.
CG: MR. VANTAS, WE'D LOVE FOR YOU TO DO A PIECE IN OUR COLUMN ON THE DIFFERENCES OF TROLL/HUMAN ROMANCE.
CG: MR. VANTAS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN AND DO ANOTHER PIECE ON THE INTRICACIES OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONS?
CG: AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE NOT EVEN RESPONDING AND I'M JUST SAYING A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT NO ONE GIVES AN ASSFISTING ABOUT.
CG: I'VE GOT TO GET THIS SHIT DONE BY -TIME- ANYWAY, SO FUCK YOU.
CG: MAYBE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE TIME TO GET TO THE POINT FOR BOTHERING ME YOU YOU CAN DO THAT.
CG: UNLESS IT WAS JUST TO INSULT ME MORE, AND USE YOUR NEWLY GAINED KNOWLEDGE OF WHO I AM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE IN WHICH CASE YOU CAN KISS MY GRAY SKINNED ASS ON BOTH CHEEKS AND THE DARKEST PART OF THE FULL MOON.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
CG: NOT THAT ANY OF IT MATTERS REALLY, I MEAN.
CG: SINCE YOU'RE JUST SOME DICKWAD I RAN INTO ONCE AT A THEATER AND APPARENTLY BITCHED AT ONLINE.
CG: MY POINT BEING, I DON'T REALLY GET WHY THE HELL YOU BOTHERED.
CG: I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK EITHER, SO YOU CAN JUST SHOVE IT UP YOUR SNIFFER AND PICK IT OUT WITH YOUR CLAW.
CG: SO.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
CG: JUST FUCK YOU, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
CG: FUCK
CG: YOU
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
TA: thii2 wa2 a bad iidea ii can't beliieve ii thought talkiing wiith you would help when the2e drooliing braiindead moron2 don't even know how two move a god damn fiile on theiir computer2 are the2e iimbiiciile2 really breathiing ii don't beliieve they are actually aliive.
TA: not two mentiion the fact that they treat you a2 iif you have no iidea what you are doiing when they called you up for help. obviiou2ly thiing2 liike common courte2y or common 2en2e are ju2t two advanced for theiir non-exii2tant miind2 two comprehend.
TA: ii fiigured why not try two 2ave at lea2t one 2crap of my rapiidly vanii2hiing good mood by trolliing the one per2on who actually wa2 enjoyable two be around but fuck that he can't even waiit fiive miinute2 for me two blow up 2ome biitch'2 fiile 2y2tem becau2e how 2he de2erve2 her job ii don't even know.
TA: ii'd quiit thii2 job iif iit wa2n't perfect for 2omeone a2 mii2erable a2 me.
CG: FUCK.
CG: OK, I KNOW I'M A MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT, BUT THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR ON MY PART. ALLOW ME TO PROSTRATE MYSELF BEFORE THE GOD'S OF SMITING FUCK UP ASSHOLES.
CG: NOT LIKE I DO ANYTHING ELSE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. OR MONTH. OR YEAR. OR MY ENTIRE LIFE.
CG: IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED BY NOW THAT I'M A COMPLETE WASTE OF SPACE AND DECIDED TO JUST STOP TALKING TO ME, THEN YOU'RE PROBABLY FREAKISHLY DAMAGED IN THE THINKPAN.
TA: ye2 and ii 2houldn't have bothered trolliing you when ii'm dealiing with the2e 2hiiteater2 but ii diid iit anyway.
TA: iit'2 a regular 2tupiid decii2ion party here and we are the gue2t2 of honor.
TA: ii wanted two a2k after we got the obliigatory '2hiit that wa2 you' out of the way iif you wanted two go on another of tho2e not-date2 thii2 friiday.
TA: ii wanted two 2how you 2omethiing.
CG: THE COOL KIDS THESE DAYS CALL IT "HANGING OUT" WHEN YOU DO THINGS WITH PEOPLE THAT AREN'T DATES.
TA: ii ju2t diidn't want two offend your deliicate romantiic 2en2iibiiliitiie2 ju2t tryiing two be niice and con2iiderate here. one of u2 ha2 two try after all.
CG: CONSIDERING IT'S "NOT A DATE" MY ROMANTIC SENSIBILITIES DON'T HAVE ANY PART OF THIS CONVERSATION.
CG: I SUPPOSE I COULD LOWER MYSELF TO SHITTING AROUND WITH YOU AGAIN. IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN SLAM MY FACE INTO MY KEYBOARD FOR THE FUCKHOLE'S THAT WANT TO DRAIN MY TALENT LIKE PARASITES.
TA: that'2 all they're good for anyway.
TA: good wear 2omethiing comfortable that you don't miind gettiing diirty or riipped 2iince you're already 2o experiienced iin faceplantiing.
CG: THAT'S BASICALLY EVERYTHING I OWN.
TA: al2o wear 2omethiing warm we're going at 2un2et.
CG: FINE.
CG: AS THRILLING AS THIS IS I HAVE A DEADLINE TO MEET.
CG: DO I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO MEET YOU, OR HAVE YOU CREEPILY STALKED UP ALL OF MY INFORMATION SO I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO YOU STANDING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW LIKE YOUR UNCLE SLENDERMAN?
TA: iit'2 my 2peciialty mo2tly becau2e ii'm bored a2 hell.
TA: and i'll emaiil you later when the2e bulge rottiing naiil biiter2 aren't gratiing on my ear2.
CG: OR YOU COULD JUST TROLL ME LATER.
CG: WHATEVER. LIKE I GIVE A FUCK.
CG: BYE, ASSHOLE.
TA: go cry iin your piillow twiitwiit.
CG: JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL THE SALT ENCRUSTED CASE? I THINK NOT.
TA: ju2t what ii wanted the rare and coveted gray tear2 of the kiing douchebag hiim2elf.
TA: see you later bagbiiter.
CG: FUCK YOU.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
CG: SEE YOU FRIDAY.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --
