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Fic I’m not going to write
Baby girl Watson has been given a lot of names by the fandom, ranging from adorable to less so but generally in the realm of “what some white upper-middle-class professional English people named “John” and “Mary” would be likely to call a baby.”
Apart, obviously, from Terry Crews Watson. Which is canon.
In this fic, they do not do this. Instead they give that baby one of those awful modern names that sounds like a normal name but has too many l’s and vowels and replaces at least one of the normal vowels with a “y”.
All of their friends smile and say “Aw, how cute” while internally wincing and thinking “Well, at least it’ll come in handy if she grows up and wants to strip cause then she won’t need to invent a stage name.”
And it kills Sherlock not to say anything. Kills. But Mrs. Hudson pinches his ear and reminds him that she prepares his food and tells him to shut up under penalty of poisoning.
Ways this could go:
-The rambling twenty-minute lecture Mrs. Hudson gives Sherlock on how sex work allows poor women greater access to economic capital than almost any other trade available to them, and how the rampant discrimination against sex workers produces terrible social harms. Bonus points if she drags him off to an IUSW meeting for a spot of consciousness-raising where he (of course) finds out about a murder and thus has to go undercover as a stripper. He has to get a bikini wax in order to maintain his disguise. Double bonus points if he comes, in said disguise, to a hen night Molly is attending. He can not look her in the face for weeks afterwards and she refuses to ever again call him anything else but his stripper name, which is Buck. None of which raises his consciousness one bit because he is a Victorian asshole at heart.
-Sherlock finally cracks and tells Mary what he thinks of the name. She gives him that flat stare she did in HLV and tells him, “She is named, Sherlock, after me.” Because let’s be honest, those of us who have four names know that at least one of them is usually terrible. Bonus points if she then goes around expecting sympathy from her friends only to find out that they all kind of agree with Sherlock and she’s like, “Okay, fuck all y’all” and that’s how we finally set up the arc that half the fandom seems to crave, Mary-the-supervillain. Or the arc I crave, Mary and John the adorable smol blond married-couple supervillains. Because John thinks the name is very pretty and he is really quite offended.
Found this beautiful work of art in the confession page of the university I go to. Thing is the mouse pad the mod is complaining about belongs to a friend of mine and after I placed a few comments here and there with different accounts shit got wild.
This argument went on for hours the original image was posted in the morning and last I checked the comments it had been 11 hours!!! I'm not sure if new comments have been posted yet but all this was caused by one mouse pad.
A crap ton of people were posting in Spanish so I had to translate all that, forgive me for bad quality screenshots.
@kiruaicelion
Stuff happen between me and @beowulfo-wuf
I warn you I’ll post it here
Using the Watchmen to scare people makes me happy (:
"See, this high school you secure yourself with? I'm not locked in it with you. You're locked in it with ME."
I always have a mini panic attack when I see I have a message
"What did I do? Who are you?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?" PTSD from years of being a shit-storm whipper-upper on Facebook, I guess.
two of my high school acquaintances (green and red) tackling the tough issues.