#facelessjournalist

[realityhelix-blog]

Table Tilting, More or Less AU

Honoria sat calmly and quietly before the mirror, as her maid, Anne, wrapped her braids around the crown of her head and fastening them with a decorative tortoiseshell comb.

A visitor, of all things. How long had it been since she had spoken with anyone not of her own household? Anne had taken it as a rare and cherished opportunity to dress her up like a porcelain doll, while Owen, the butler, took it as a rare and cherished opportunity to disapprove strongly. He was old, and lacked a romantic spirit, and as such, he was not too happy that a working class man was going to be spending any amount of time on the estate, especially not talking to her.

But ultimately, the choice was hers, and the Others had encouraged her to accept the man’s request to speak with her. Anne would make her look as lovely as she could look, not that it really mattered. This man was as yet a stranger, and she herself was something of an old maid now.

Still, it would probably be nice to speak to someone new. She hoped he would be punctual. 

[landilizandra]

Killed The Cat

@facelessjournalist

She was able to tolerate Helix’s new friend chasing shadow governments this way and that. If he wanted to discover what phantom light in the sky was or wasn’t an alien then that was his own business. Personally she wasn’t sure why he cared, seeing as aliens were quite common on this string of worlds, but it was still his own business.

But now he was looking for dragons. Harmless enough on its own, but the more he dug, the more likely he was to uncover something he wanted to keep a secret.

That is why she followed him to the UK, to investigate him while he investigated her people. She posed as a museum worker effortlessly, with the help of a little misdirection and mind control.

“Can I help you with anything, sir?” She asked.

[realityhelix-blog]

You and Q should go hunting for Nessie.

“One at a time, baby! A man like that, you can’t move too fast. They spook.”

[realityhelix-blog]

((I’ve heard that what you are thinking about before you fall asleep can influence your dreams. This makes sense to me; unfortunately, I tend to think about fanart that I want to, but will probably never draw. I think about the lines I would use, the lighting, the colors.

I suppose that’s why I have an inordinate amount of character dreams.

In any case, a dream where the Question is stalking me through a dark operahouse, like the goddamn Phantom is creepy enough, what with the fog machines, the props and sets, the hidden passages, the turning around and he’s always just there; silent and closer each time. 

Let’s add to that the fact that where the Uncanny Valley effect hits me hardest is not on almost human robots or aliens or anything like that, but on things that have no face, and that shit is plain terrifying.

God, that was scary.))

[realityhelix-blog]

So you, a beautiful woman, are just going to out into the woods alone, monsterhunting with a man who doesn't even have a face? And you're okay with this? Do you even know where you will be staying? Or what he wants, beyond just finding a monster?

“Well first of all anon, thank you for the compliment! That was real swell. 

Second of all, of course I’m going monster hunting with the faceless guy, that’s the perfect thing to do with a faceless guy! Besides, he’s interesting, and it has been way too long since I had a bit of fun with an interesting man. And it’s not like I’m a master of escape or anything, right?

As for accommodations, while it would be an amusing oversight ((Vic “Crap, I only booked a single” Sage)) I did give him half an hour to get things straight. So we’ll see. I don’t mind a cuddle with an acquaintance, after all.

And I’m pretty sure he wants exactly what he says he wants. But we’ll see. And probably have quite a bit of fun on the way.”

[realityhelix-blog]

*shoves in Q and Helix for the ship meme because why not*

((Oh hey Quest, fancy seeing you here.))

The ship is my: NewTP

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual ((The only way she would have it)) | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it

General Opinion: He’s absolutely her type, and I already ship it, but I also already know that he is going to be super difficult, and take a lot of patience. Which is fine, I’m behind this one 100% too. Way to much potential for a lot of fun.

[realityhelix-blog]

Motherfucking Corpse Tits

((So I had this dream last night, yeah? I’m in a hotel lobby, the decor can only be described as “rustic”, like a Bass Pro Shop, only with fewer dead animals staring accusingly at me. It’s warm and cozy, with three massive, freestanding stone fireplaces and their chimneys reaching up to the skylight in the ceiling.  It’s pretty nice, and I like it, which is sad because the whole place is overrun by asshole Black Lanterns, and I’m hiding behind one of the fireplaces, but they know I’m there.

And I’m mostly thinking; “I can take these dickwaffles, they’ve got corpse tits!”

For clarification, I have a friend who has a pet peeve that is boobs on dragons, or other reptilian based creatures. My personal pet peeve is wizened, desiccated, shriveled corpses, with big, perky, bouncy boobs. WHY YES, I might have a bone to pick with some of the Blackest Night artists, why do you ask?

I see it in WOW and D&D art too, and every time I do, I can no longer take the undead in question seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, undead dudes with rotting skull heads and chiseled abs also elicit this response. They are a goddamn joke.

What was not a joke, was that Question was prowling around with them, all decked out in the black and white. That I took seriously, which was why I was hiding in the first place. Unfortunately, in my dreams, I don’t have many Helixy powers, usually just levitation, or very, very slow flight. Like as fast as I can walk.

So they’re stalking around the fireplaces, and he’s whispering little secrets from my life and generally being as creepy as possible, so I hop up into the air and start slooooooowly ascending around the fireplaces, just barely clearing their reach before they get to where I used to be.

So I’m feeling pretty good about that, and Corpse Tits are all shrieking in unholy anger and jumping at me but they are too far down. But then my jackass of a subconscious brain remembers that Question can actually do some pretty acrobatic stuff. Motherfucker triangle jumps up the fireplaces like a goddamn parkour video game character, and snatches me right out of the air. I called bullshit all the way down.

And even though they hold me down, and I can’t get back into the air or defend myself, I’m way more pissed than I am afraid, because godDAMNIT, I’m gonna be taken out by Corpse Tits and No Face. And they are all taunting, which is even more irritating, until he tells me that with my powers, they can go anywhere. That’s when I get really mad, and really sad, because I still can’t get out, and they are going to use me to take over the multiverse.

Then he tells me that rage and compassion are an unusual mix, but he’s sure it’ll taste just fine.

I ask him how he’s gonna know, since he doesn’t have a mouth. He just laughs at me and draws back his hand for some good old chest-burstin’ action.

Then I woke up and got to go straight to work.

No reading comics and eating snacks before bed, kids! You might dream about the end of the world being full of corpse tits!))

[realityhelix-blog]

εжз☎☯

εжз :What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable?

((The sounds, the colors, the way everything moves around you, and has done since before you lived, and will after you are gone. But then there is humidity. And mosquitoes.))

☎ :List three or more people they would call out for during an emergency.

((In a real, going to die, emergency? Her goddess, first and foremost, and that’s likely the only person she would need to call for. In lesser emergencies, she would likely call for the person closest to her. Currently, there are only a very few people that she is in any way likely to face an emergency with: Question of Facelessjournalist, and possibly Edward of Riddlerreformed.))

☯ :Do they believe for every darkness there is a lightness? If not, why?

((Helix believes in the multiverse as a living thing, and like any living thing, it is inherently unbalanced, and highly biased toward entropy, and nothing else. Concepts like dark and light matter only to those that embody them, and small things such as herself. Among the small things, battles in the name of many different forces take place, changing the balance in small areas. But a true balance will never be. There are simply too many possibilities, and to many forces.

So, no.))