#fahzon

[nevergoinganywherearewe]

Do You Even Lift, Bro? AU Episode 21

When the gym gang ‘regulars’ started to find each other, there was many a situation that led to initial confusion. For one, what were the odds of every single one of them to play for the other team (or at least play for both, looking at you there, Forth)?

Yet another major point of confusion was a string of incidents that led gym goers such as Zon and Forth to believe that Tutor had a split personality.

Zon was more confused than usual (that is saying something considering how confused he is on the regular) when he waved goodbye at Tutor in the changing rooms only to run into Tutor in the front desk area, in different clothes, making googly eyes at Ae of all people. For a second, a range of possibilities shot into his head.

Did Fighter and Tutor have an open relationship going on? They didn’t seem the type though so he brushed it off (too timid to go up and ask, he thought he’d been studying too much or Zol’s been writing into the night again and he’s back in another novel).

Saifah was very confused himself, to say the least, when Zon arrived at his door later that evening only to say: “Sai, I think I’m going insane??” instead of “Hello.”

Saifah raised a single eyebrow: “...again? That’s like the third time this week,” and opened his arms to envelop his ridiculous boyfriend.

On a different occasion, Forth also unknowingly crossed paths with someone who certainly looked like Tutor but didn’t act like him, at least according to Fighter’s tales and from what he could tell from IG stalking the imp (Tutor’s cute, sue him, Beam agrees, they’ve surprisingly similar taste).

So, Forth didn’t know Tutor per se but he did know of him (quite a lot, Fighter tends to overshare). This was precisely why he was simultaneously confused and slightly turned on when he walked into the bathroom, only to bump into Tutor exiting one of the stalls and apologising to him with the sweetest look from under his lashes, and a timid ‘Sorry, P’.

Forth had entered the twilight zone, clearly, but didn’t think much longer about it as he’d already been running late picking up Beam from work.

It all came to a head when none other than Fighter sensed something slightly off when he strolled into the gym and noticed his boyfriend happily talking to Ae in very hushed voices.

Fighter’s fighty-senses started to tingle. Fighter couldn’t quite tell what was wrong about the Tutor he saw - the stance? The posture? The aura? ...the cheeks?

Determined to find out, he approached his boyfriend (?) and gave him a once-over, silently judging whatever he was seeing.

“You look like Tutor but....who are you and why the fuck are you wearing my boyfriend’s face?”

Pete was naturally taken aback for a second and attempted to explain but then Ae whisked him away since his shift had ended and Fighter never really got his answer. 

By that evening, Fighter was almost convinced he had daydreamed the whole exchange because that boy definitely didn’t act like Tutor would have...god, his master’s thesis was truly taking a toll on him...he’s hallucinating Tutor? He should call his boyfriend and see if he could tempt him into mutual gratification over the phone. Happy ending included.

The day that brought salvation to all the questioning and confused members of the gym was rather anti-climatic.

Pete, on his way to pick up Ae from the gym, walked right into his brother, who was just about to leave. 

Not having seen each other in a few weeks, they stopped and chatted for a bit, smack in the middle of the gym entrance hall, in full view of the functional / weights area with the gang lifting away.

Enter Zon, running after Tutor because he had forgotten his phone in the locker room, again. Upon spotting Tutor’s conversation partner, he stopped dead in his tracks and almost dropped the phone.

“Mother of God,” he shrieked, drawing the heads of Forth and Fighter who were closest.

Fighter simply went: “What the actual FUCK?”

Forth realised right then: “This bitch is a TWIN?”

Ae, having witnessed the whole shebang from the front desk, exclaimed: “Wait...you didn’t know?”

The twins looked at each other and burst into uncharacteristically hysteric laughter. 

[nevergoinganywherearewe]

Do You Even Lift, Bro? AU Episode 18

“Boys, we got a new shipment. Restock the protein powder before you call it a day, alright?”

For other employees this would have been an easy run-of-the-mill last-minute task before closing, but oh no, not for Saifah and Zon. The fact that they’ve been dating for years at this point did not help the fact that they were hopeless at following orders.

This was roughly the hundredth time Saifah and Zon argued in the protein aisle. They could have their “discussions, Zol, we do not argue” literally anywhere in the shop but no, it has got to be the protein aisle. One of these days, they are going to start throwing protein powder at one another only to have to clean it up a minute later...or get fired.

It was a promising Friday afternoon as Saifah and Zon had been ‘quiet’ throughout their shift (or as quiet as they ever get, which is....not...very quiet). At least they weren’t hurling protein bars at each other’s heads. Of course, all went to shit about an hour before closing. 

“NO, what are you doing? These are supposed to be stocked first in first out!“ Saifah lectured.

“...what?”

“The new ones need to go to the back and the old ones should be pushed to the front so that customers don’t buy expired stuff, Mr Zon.”

“Wh-what does it matter? We run out of this stuff almost every week! We are literally stocking this aisle up every shift!”

“It matters because we need to have a working system in place in case this changes!”

“Ugh...but...that’s so stupid.”

“You are stupid.”

“No, you are!”

This ‘discussion’ escalated the moment Saifah straight-up picked up a whole container of protein powder, clumsily undid the lid of one bottle and dumped its contents on Zon’s head.

After a moment of stunned silence, Zon reached for another bottle of protein powder. 

“Oh, this is war, Mr Saifah~!”

The manager wasn’t sure what he expected. He was certainly disappointed but definitely not surprised to find his employees chasing each other around the store with fistfuls of protein power, seemingly trying to cover the other party in as much of the stuff as possible. 

They didn’t seem to realise that most of the powder did not reach its intended target but ended up on the shelves and floor, much to the dismay of the red-faced but exasperated manager.

He was not paid enough for this shit.

The manager’s angry baritone almost completely overpowered the bell of the entrance signalling a customer had just walked in. Forth just needed to stock up on his protein bars and wanted to check in with his bro, Sai, while he was at it, as per usual, when he bore witness to the interesting scene the three staff members acted out.

“....eeeer, I think I’ll come back tomorrow?” 

Forth did a complete u-turn and walked out of the shop before anyone even noticed he was there. He’d been dragged into too many lectures courtesy of Saifah and Zon’s weird-ass foreplay to know this might take a while.

After the thorough scolding about professionalism at the workplace, they were tasked to ‘go clean up that mess, I don’t care how long it takes’ and to secure a collaboration deal with the gym down the street to redeem themselves or finally lose their jobs “for real this time”.

If they had so much energy, they might as well use it for the good of the store...for once.