#faifa p10ls

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Not to be making the We Are comparisons again, but this reminded me of Fang. Both the forgotten children of their families, too afraid to step out of line in case they are not loved anymore. The perfectionists, with their only "purpose" being to be the communication medium for the rest of their families. Both who fall for these boys who love to solve their problems and be their shoulders to cry on and will always tell them that they aren't being unreasonable just because they're doing something for themselves or aren't being perfect for a minute. Gods, Fai what are you doing to meeeee

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Ive talked about how Yotha came to love milk because he used to cover for Fai whenever their mom forgot that Fai was allergic pre-divorce. But yesterday's episode got me thinking about the other things Fai does too.

Like how many times did Fai get stranded at school because his mom forgot to pick him up. Or how many times did he carry his project on his own, and other people didn't offer to help because its Faifa, he's got this. Or how many times did he eat something his friend offered, maybe a homemade cake or whatever that contained milk, and then snuck off to get his allergy pills and Be Normal. How many times did he almost stop his heart from beating just to let someone else's heal, how many times did he drive other people home just because he never had one. How many times did he ask everyone how they were only for them to never ask how he was.

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And again we have the foreshadowing of how Fai is just casually left out of discussions and events (even when they happen on his important days and celebrations)

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Also I love how no one is surprised that Fai is already friendly with Wine, even though none of them know that they know each other from before Wine even got into college because its Faifa. He knows everyone who has walked the ground of this university. Its his thing.

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So....

Im here to analyze our boy Fai

In this particular interaction with Evil Mom

And you may wonder, whats to analyze except we see that Evil Mom only cares about Yotha and Fai is obviously too soft, too kind, too willing to sacrifice himself to say anything about it.

And thats right. But there is something even deeper here.

Now, normally, he couldve also said that the "dorm is comfortable." But he emphasized that Yotha lives their comfortably. Now it can be because Evil Mom only asked about Yotha.

But it can also be because Fai doesn't find it comfortable.

Fai, who has always had to live away from home. Fai, the child who might have finally started to feel comfortable living with his mom but then was sent back to live with his emotionally closed off brothers. Fai, the only brother who comes home way too often. Fai, the brother who doesn't have a room at his brother's bar because he doesn't like to stay there. Fai, who tried to give up the better spot to Yotha not only because he is just willing to sacrifice, but because he genuinely doesn't care as long as he feels at home. Which he doesn't. He hasn't felt at home in years, in his whole life probably.

Thank you for listening, i will not be shutting up about him at any point in near time.

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I am loving the metas protecting Yotha from the very undeserving hate he has been getting. So obviously, i am here to add my two cents:

We forget that Yotha literally did not comprehend his trauma, his brothers' traumas, his father's trauma till literally less than 10 episodes back?? Like that boy has blocked most emotional comprehension and understanding as a way to cope with his feelings- obviously, he isn't going to be the biggest support for Faifa, or anyone. He has just barely started to support himself, and his starting line is being okay with dying in a bar fight??

He was told by Newton, who he trusts to be the expert on everything as anyone would towards their "settled" elder brother, that Faifa does not know how to love. He has never seen Faifa being truly in love. He has never seen Faifa treat one person as special exclusively. Especially because he himself literally always runs away from social situations. It is okay for him to doubt Faifa's abilities because he's worried. As many are. About their brothers.

Why did Yotha not tell Faifa about their mom? Because was it so wrong for him to think their elder brother would have already done that. It isn't even as much as Newton's fault. It's the mother's fault for not informing the son who was supposed to be picking her up, and the rest is just an unfortunate misunderstanding. Obviously this doesn't mean that Fai's feelings are even a little invalid. It only means that his brothers, equally validly traumatized brothers, are not to blame.

And lastly, they ARE TEENAGERS. LITERALLY 19-20 YEARS IN AGE. And heavily traumatized, at that. They are going to be making mistakes. They are going to be hurting people they care about. They are going to do things they didn't mean to do. It's called life. It's okay. He is not evil, he's just a teenager.