Okay?
She wasn’t okay and hadn’t been for ages.
Drowning.
Always drowning with no one else to notice.
Only, now Xander had taken notice. Despite everything she had done to their little Scooby gang, and more importantly, to Buffy, he was still reaching out to her. It made her feel sick to her stomach. Faith didn’t need his pity or to be forgiven based on her approaching end. She had always been the only on on her side, so why should things change now?
Glaring at him before she could stop herself, the dark haired Slayer reached inside her jacket for the familiar shape of her blade, its hilt fitting her hand so perfectly like it was made for her. Considering it was a present from Wilkins, she suspected that it just might have been forged just for her. Either way, it always reassured her and the darkness within settled into a more steady mess than the swirling chaos Xander was making her feel.
Faith didn’t pull it on him, although she wanted to hurt him, just like the world kept trying to hurt her. Why did she have to be the one dying? She was ten times the Slayer Buffy was, and never once did she get the praise. Life just kept trying to screw her over. The brunette should be the one walking those expensive spoiled shoes.
Meeting his gaze again, she lost the hositility —partly— but there was no warmth shining from the one them either. He’d just been a fuck, nothing more and if he deluded himself into thinking that gave him the right to knowing the details of her pitiful existence, then he couldn’t be more wrong. What did she care anyway?
Shrugging, she finally told him, “Five by five. —What do you care anyway? Shouldn’t you be back at the library, kissing little miss perfect's behind like a good little SIDEKICK?”
Xander glanced away from Faith, lips pursed as he cracked a feigned smile. He appeared strained, nodding his head as he bit back remarks. She always assumed someone didn’t care even when they tried, so he didn’t really know why he was bothering at this point. What aggravated him more was how she was condescending him as if it were some sort of self-defense mechanism. He wasn’t anyone’s sidekick.
He almost wished he didn’t care right now, but he wasn’t going to lie to himself. He glanced back at her, letting that smile recede into a sneer. He wasn’t buying her little ‘I’m okay’ act, but he also knew prying wasn’t gonna be much help. Then again, when did helplessness ever stop Xan?
