A Guide to Faking Being Smart
Here’s an easy breakdown of things you should do if you want to trick people
into believing that you have more the three synapses up there...
* Read a couple of current articles from nerdy websites, ones that talk about how we are developing anti-gravity, force fields, hoverboards, and other star wars B.S.
* Read some articles about some foreign nations and what they are doing, and no, the middle-east doesn’t count. Everyone reads about that. (pro-tip, central/southern america is a good one because you can use it as a topic to show how well informed you are about immigration!)
(Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN usually do not cover much on those countries, sorry guys.)
* Try to read as much as you can of one of the old “classics” It’s not a marathon so don’t try to read one of those in one night, It’s like binging 4 seasons of a show in a different language. It’s hard. Sometimes you can compare it to movies for bonus smart points (especially horror movies!)
* Think about that one time in history class when you weren’t being tranquilized by the sheer boring-ness of dead peoples lives. Remember that one thing you thought was cool, become an expert on that thing via wikipedia and the resources list at the bottom of their page. (just like a college paper, ugh.)
* Ask your parents or one of your grandparents about something nobody these days remember that they know about, Smart people always remember stupid celebrities that no one else knew and junk.
* Download the dictionary.com app on your phone (it will help reading the old ass book) try to learn you some fancy words, nothing crazy, defenestration is hard to work into a sentence but some better adjectives to tell your buds how awesome this beer is, how gorgeous that hotty is, or how mentally inept your landlord is, are wicked ways to fake smartness.
Just follow these tips and you should start to see people look with a little more respect for your brain powers. keep this up for as long as needed.
P.S. Don’t let anyone bully you for not being as book smart. Just like the physical kind of onesided beatdowns, it ain’t cool. It’s also is a likely sign of insecurity and you got no time for them haters. You are too smart for that, am I right?