various stages of dilapidation

Huey Patoui. Excessive babbler Messy Eater Chronic nose-wrinkler Curious. Unless otherwise stated, none of those gifs are mine :P What you'll find in this blog: -awesome pictures -Supernatural /reblogs/ -Doctor Who /reblogs/ -The Hunger Games /reblogs/ -Stuff about books -Random good-looking people -rants & drools Plot twist:those are my tags(usually)

[m-orphine]

[hueypatootie]

Big words do not a big brain make.

[charlesoberonn]

[hueypatootie]

Hullo there. Guess I am returning here since every other social media app/site/wotsit has proven to be kind of a dumpster fire—except maybe Instagram which is more or less just an offshoot of Tumblr if we're being honest...

[maureen2musings]

[hueypatootie]

Good News (?)

The crisis has been dealt with. That specific one anyway.

It’s one of the major takeaways of the year, the crises keep coming because that’s just how life goes. There are ups and downs and a flatline is obviously a bad sign aside from being highly unlikely. Reminds me of this one phrase from one of the nerdy meme pages I follow: Same liver, different crow. Or was it eagle? I forget.

Anyway, what I really need to remember is how I am not defined by the things that happen to me. How I respond to them is what marks who I am.

Guess the resilience stuck. My skin’s getting thicker. Count the indirect speech in this post. Should help you pass the time.

[hueypatootie]

The Genetic Question

You ever catch yourself watching someone in your family go through a rough time and just think, “I hope I don’t end up like that.” I do. Pretty often. I mean I know I’m my own person, and I’ve already broken free of most of the patterns I’ve witnessed that I don’t like but boy, oh boy.

The thing about my family and drama is that it’s zero to sixty in about three seconds flat. It’s periods of calm then WHAM! Sucker punch! There’s no slow build or red flags. I wouldn’t really describe myself as impulsive, but I can easily recall instances where I’ve uttered the adage “go big or go home!” And what if there’s this thing in my DNA, like some code that makes me just as susceptible to the same pitfalls I so despise?

The obvious answer to this little episode is to just keep going and ride it out. Man, I got a feeling this is either going to erode or reinforce the slice of resilience I’ve built for myself. Guess I just have to work hard to make sure it’s the latter.

Damn.

[hueypatootie]

I’ll concede to dream tonight so that I may wake up tomorrow.

[hueypatootie]

Imagine hurting yourself so bad, your own body refuses to heal itself.

Please don’t do this. I want to live.

[hueypatootie]

05.31.2019

Good morning, self.

This might be my last letter for a while ‘cause I think I’m going to have a lot to do in the next couple of days.

The last couple of months have been hell. Some of the worst days of my life, really—but hey, I’m young and according to statistics, only a quarter of the way through (yay?). This past week was no break. I put myself through the wringer feeling all sorts of things and my body is still reeling from some of it.

The surprising part is, I actually woke up today full of hope and full of love. I think maybe I’ve used up my quota of despair and spite for now. My mind is racing with thoughts of how I can make things better, if not for myself then maybe for others.

I’m not saying I believe the coming days will be easy, I know they won’t be—I’m no stranger to this planet’s whims. However, I intend to wear this love I feel now as armor.

I have seen the face of the creature who insists that to be on this Earth is to be alone and miserable. I’m going to wink at it.

-H

[hueypatootie]

[hueypatootie]

Do you know what it’s like to have your heart exist outside of your body?

It’s being this ball of hate and needing to reach out and touch this small, warm thing covered in fur just to feel like there are things in this world that were not meant to be destroyed.

[polishingmirrors]

[wolverxne]

Freddy The Fox by: [Rob Lee]

Photographers note: “This brave fox wandered up on our porch. He’s half cat, half dog, and all cute. When the fox first came for a visit we instantly named it “Freddy the Fox.” But after we got to know it we found out Freddy is actually Frederica.”

[darksilenceinsuburbia]

[ithelpstodream]

[neongenesist-deactivated2015111]