#false strength

[iwannagettbetter]

I killed a part of myself last night

Like a spider in the floor

I squashed it, ground it beneath my heel

Sent it down the drain

It was the part of me that said yes

The part of me that smiled and apologized

It was the part of me that ruined my day

Just to make someone else feel better

[natsufatsu]

[tricolouredtantrum]

What I know

Sometimes her childish innocence makes me smile, and sometimes it makes me worry about her future. She is too naive, easily trusting other people and wearing those rose-tinted glasses she loves the most. For that reason I want to gather her into my arms and protect her from all the cruel things in this world. Someone as beautiful and delicate as her needs to be taken care of, not because she is weak or easily broken, but because she is too strong to acknowledge that she is human and flawed. Left alone, she'll continue in her facade of strength and selflessness, and in the end, nothing will be left of her but ashes and dying embers.

This I know, and this she does not realize yet. She pushes me away with stinging words and heavy sarcasm, and it makes me want to cry.

How can one as lovely as she be so blind to her own need to be taken care of? No one truly survives alone in this world, so why should she? I want to sob, to fall unto my knees in frustration, however, I know that by doing so I will hurt her, a bullet striking its mark true. I do not want that.

I do not want to add more to the chips and bruises decorating her pallid complexion. Therefore I am forced to watch as she destroys herself, little by little, inch by inch.

Goodness knows if I can ever save her.