#fam 141

[cod-dump]

Price: I have two children who have to touch me at all times. (Gaz and Soap).

And over there.. I have another child. (Ghost). Who is determined to kill himself at every possible chance.

Gaz and Soap don't need leashes because they're always on Price's ass no matter where he goes. Meanwhile Ghost is like a pet cat who has everything he could possibly need and yet he bolts the second the door opens. Price is being crushed by Gaz and Soap who are laying on his back while he grips Ghost's hood like a scruff trying to keep him from running off and doing something stupid.

[cod-dump]

Ghost, Soap, & Gaz: *hanging out in Price’s office talking*

Price: *sitting at his desk, glaring ahead of him*

Gaz: Cap, are we bothering you?

Price: Yes! You’re cutting into my nap time

Soap, immediately: Sleepover at the captain’s?

Price: Wha-

Ghost: SLEEPOVER

Price: FUCKING HELL- NO-

(Thirty minutes later)

Price: *trapped in bed with the boys surrounding him, all of them fast asleep*

Price, sighing: Wonder if Kate will babysit…

[cod-dump]

Price: I raised four perfectly functional adults

Graves: … don’t you still make doctor appointments for Ghost?

Price: Well-

Graves: or call Soap every other day to make sure he remembers to take his medicine?

Price: I-

Graves: Or call Roach to make sure he doesn’t sleep in his contacts and makes sure he replaces the solution

Price: Listen-

Graves: And doesn’t Gaz still go shopping with you and freaks out when you walk out of sight?

Price: Phil please-

[cod-dump]

Ghost: Your internal organs spend their whole existence in darkness. But what if I told you I could change that? What if I told you I could help you?

Alex: U-Uh wh-what?

Farah: Simon, leave him alone for fuck’s sake

Price: Apparently a normal family dinner was too much to ask for

[cod-dump]

Price: This is Gaz and Roach. They are kind and strong and I'm very proud of them Price: This is Ghost and Soap. I, uh, think they have rabies

[cod-dump]

Soap: We should go to a haunted house this year! Price: What's wrong with the one we live in? Gaz & Soap: Roach: What? Price: Night, boys

[cod-dump]

The sergeants get put in jail while on leave for causing trouble. They don't want to call Price and have him lecture them. If they call Ghost they might as well stay in the cell for protection. So, Soap calls the one person he knows that won't ask questions or tell Price and Ghost about this.

"Hey, Nik."

"I want details about how you three landed in here."

"Can we get McDonald's first?"

"Sure."

Nik is, without a doubt, the 'cool dad'. Price thought he was the cool dad but after he finds out Nik bailed the three sergeants out of jail and got them McDonald's he realized he was, in fact, not the cool dad.

[cod-dump]

Price: It's hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a middle-aged man Laswell, dumping the boys into the room: Solved one problem