#fartmas

[jephanz]

-FARTMAS INTENSIFIES- GirafFartman scores all the hoops #fartmas #butfartman #flyingkiwi #quidditchuganda

[minimarker]

Compilation of Butfartman Lore

It has taken a bit of time but I have now compiled a lot (possibly all but most likely I missed something) of the Butfartman lore that has been given to us during the 2014 and 2015 Project for Awesome Livestreams.  If any lore was discussed during Part 6 which is still unavailable, it is not listed here.

The Beginning:

Destin looked at an Australian 10 dollar note because an Australian donor gave the money he was requesting.  It was noted that there were words (later to be revealed as the poem “The Man from Snowy River” by Banjo Peterson). While scanning the words the screen showed “BUT FAR T” and enjoyment ensued.

 The Butfartman outfit of the same shirt on the top and the bottom is a modification of a suggestion by twitter user @tweetlikeatwit to raise money by wearing a shirt on your legs and pants on your arms/torso.  

Hank instead put the identical shirts he was given by Destin on the top and bottom and began waddling and saying “Beep bop bwoop boop,” the beginnings of Butfartman’s language (in 2014 it is decided that this is mostly saying “butfart” over and over, in 2015 this language was declared Butfartese and becomes much more eloquent). It was commented that Hank looked like “the awful sidekick of a banana” or a baby.  Hank insisted that he was obviously a space alien.  Soon after it was declared: neither baby nor alien, I am Butfartman!

As the night progressed, the following was revealed:

1. Butfartman is a superhero

2. Bartfutman lives in Ohio and is totally different

3. “We are all Butfartman” and “In Butfartman We Trust”

4. A children’s song was written: “Every time you fart, you fart on yourself!”

5. The first Fartmas miracle occurred at Castle Wheaton when a cloud of farts surrounded it after Anne made soup (although it is claimed that this was a fart mist and not Fartmas)

6. Fartmas celebrates the birth of Butfartman on December 14 (even though Wil claims Butfartman was actually born in Spring but we celebrate in December to co-opt the pagan fart rituals)

7. Pat Rothfuss decided we need scratch a sniff Fartmas cards 

8. A Fartmas tree is a pile of cans of beans topped with sour cream (some were immediately made by Twitter users; on camera one was made of green beans, black beans, chickpeas, and cottage cheese)

9. Fartmas Carols were written and sung (full list of carols below):

10. In our fart of farts, we are Butfartman

11. We are all but farts in the butt of Butfartman

12. Canada has Fartmas but it is in October

13. Butfartman crop dusts the entire world in one night

14. No fires are allowed on Fartmas Eve (it is too dangerous for Butfartman)

15. Fartmas is bad for global warming

16. The grinch’s fart grew three sizes that day

17. There will be a “top-notch” Fartmas perk in 2015 (did not happen)

18. Fartmas will be on the 2016 calendar (did happen)

19. “Fartmas isn’t about the carols, it’s about spending time with your loved ones.  And farting on them.” - Matthew Gaydos

During the 2014 Livestream Fartmas, butfart, and Butfartman all trended.

2015:

On the first night of the Livestream, Destin relocated “BUT FAR T” on the Australian money, Hank dressed as Butfartman using the sweatshirts YouTube sent him, a Fartmas tree was built, and people hummed “Oh Fartmas Tree”

On the second night of the Livestream, as we transitioned into Fartmas Eve the following was revealed:

1. Butfartman is much more communicative and eloquent in Butfartese this year.

2. Saying “Butfartman” three times makes Butfartman appear (but possibly not)

3. Butfartman is never nude! (aka wear Butfartman outfits over your clothing!)

4. Butfartman has a crotch hole (later named “Fartmakah”) for the following reasons: person reasons, Butfartman centipede, to hide a Butfartman’s head when scared (ButfarTim attempted this), to store things like a marsupial pouch (there are no pockets), fart storage, directing farts when traveling through the air, “Swiss Army Hole”, laying eggs

5. If you are good Butfartman brings you beans and sour cream to create future farts

6. If you are bad Butfartman brings you poop

7. Butfartman’s home planet (Butfartopia) has a higher gravity which is why the farts propel Butfartman through the air

8. Butfartman farted the first fart in space

9. There are no genders on Butfartopia

10. Butfartman does not mess with the Star Wars universe because it is too weird for Butfartman (although he is curious about the anatomy of other species like Yoda)

11. Butfartman greets others by spitting on them

12. Butfartdog was seen on Twitter but Butfartkitty is unlikely

13. Butfartman sneezes out of his butt, no one understands Butfartman

14. Butfartman crash landed in Boston

15. No one should kidnap Butfartman or the children of Butfartman to demand the P4A money as ransom

16. Wearing all white does not designate ghost Butfartman (bwop bWEEEEEp bwop bwoop!)

17. On Fartmas Eve, leave egg salad sandwiches (cut into quarters with the crusts cut off) and a large cup of pickle juice for Butfartman

18. We are all Butfartpeople and Butfartman is just a rich guy with an affinity for (but)farts

19. Butfartman is really good at math (sometimes storing a calculator in the fartmakah)

20. Butfartman does not necessarily know much about Doctor Who

21. Butfartman is a real, human-sized, person

22. None of us exist without Butfartman because we are all but farts in the butt of Butfartman

23. The Katherine does NOT find Butfartman attractive

24. Butfartman’s dating ritual involves dancing and is similar to Butfartyoga:

25. Butfartman shows approval by saying “AHHHHHHHHH” happily

We also learned more of the history of Butfartman’s kind:

Mouthfartman is a different species than Butfartman and the two species are in a civil war.  This is because the Mouthfartmen and Mouthfartwomen are confused by the Butfartman’s lack of gender and this has made the Mouthfartpeople angry.  Occasionally a Butfartman is born tending toward a gender despite not knowing the concept of gender because one has had sex with Commander Riker.

Fartmas Carols:

(Tune of Happy Birthday) Happy Fartmas to you, happy Fartmas to you, happy Fartmas dear Hank, happy Fartmas to you ... and many faaaarrrrttttsssss!

(Tune of Silent Night) Faaartmas, Faaartmas, Fartfartmas, Fartfartmas, Fartfartfartfartfart Faaartmas

(Tune of Everything is Awesome) Everybody Fartmas! Everybody’s cool when you’re part of the fart!

(Tune of Silver Bells) Silver Farts! (This then caused a discussion of creating silver farts)

(Tune of Hark the Harold Angels Sing) Hark how the farts Butfartman farts all seen to say beans everyday! f-a-a-a-art, f-a-a-a-art, f-a-a-a-art, f-a-a-a-art, fartfartfartfartfartfartFartmas, fartfartfartfartfartfartFartmas, merry merry merry merry Fartmas (traditional)

(Tune of 12 Days of Christmas) On the first day of Fartmas Butfartman gave to me...

(Tune of Up on the Rooftop) Up on the rooftop fart fart fart

(Tune of O Christmas Tree) Oh Fartmas tree, oh Fartmas tree, oh how your smell repels us, you are dressed in all the beans, surrounded by clouds of green, oh Fartmas tree oh Fartmas tree, you really are delightful

(Tune of All I Want for Christmas is You) All I want for Fartmas is POO!  Baby!

(Tune of Santa Clause is Coming to Town) Lighting u farts, running away, burning down your house on Fartmas Day, Butfartman is coming to town! He sees you when you’re farting, he knows when you’re asleep, he knows if farts are good or bad

(Tune of Last Christmas) Last Fartmas I gave you my fart.  The very next day you gave it away.

(Tune of Deck the Halls) Deck the Fartmas with Butfartman, fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart

(Tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen) God rest ye merry Butfartmen, may nothing you dismay, remember Banjo’s words were first seen on Fartmas Day

(Tune of Jingle Bells) Eating beans galore, away from open flame, stuffing our faces, if only (inaudible) bingle farts bingle farts bingle all the way! oh what fun it is to fart away from open flame OH  bingle farts bingle farts bingle all the way! oh what fun it is to fart away from open flame

(Tune of Santa Clause is Coming to Town) Open the cans, don’t ask me why, we’re gonna eat beans and bring tears to your eyes, Butfartman is coming to town!

(Tune of Silent Night) Silent fart, deadly fart, all was calm, until I farted. Destroyed all (inaudible) of peace, all of my family are hiding from me. Sleep in heavenly beans, sleep in heavenly beans.

(Tune of White Christmas) I’m dreaming of a nice Fartmas, just like the ones I used to blow.

(Tune of Particle Man) Butfartman, Butfartman, doing the things a butt fart can. What’s he like? It’s not important. Butfartman. Is he a butt? Or is he a fart? If he farts in outer space will the fart push him forward? Nobody knows, Butfartman.

(Tune of Jingle Bells) Dashing through the Fartmas with a big ole can of beans. O’er the fart field we go (the fart field of Butfartopia are well known) farting all the way HA HA HA Farts from the (inaudible) making spirits smelly, how fun it is to laugh and fart a Fartmas song tonight. Oh Fartmas bells, Fartmas bells, farting all the way! Oh what fun it is to fart with a big ole can of beans OH! Fartmas bells, Fartmas bells, farting all the way! Oh what fun it is to fart with a big ole can of beans. Now the room is reeking, go farting while you’re young. Take no poops tonight, and sing this farting song! Just take a can of beans and a really big ole spoon, shove them in your open mouth and PFFFT you’ll take the lead! (there are more verses that involve a farting contest)

Here is a Fartmas poem written by @hanklerfishcomic​

Links to the sections of the Livestreams with Butfartman: x x x x

This post is dedicated to the nerdfighters of bindle who are amazing.

[hanklerfishcomic]

‘Twas the night before Fartmas, when all through the house

A strange mist was spreading. It woke up the mouse. 

The egg salad sandwich and cold pickle brine

Were left on the table like fine cheese and wine.

The animals rested all snug on their beds

While visions of chili dogs danced in their heads

And puffs of foul odor left their derrieres 

That would go undetected amidst that night's airs

When outside the house, there resounded such thunder

I sprang from my bed and I started to wonder. 

I flew to the window to see what I'd find,

Tore open the curtains and pulled up the blind.

The moon in the mist of the freshly formed cloud

Formed a bright fuzzy haze that was hard to make out

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a man who was shooting out flames from the rear

With a shirt on the top and the same on the bottom

I knew in a moment it must be Butfartman! 

More rapid than planes, through the sky he beelined

Leaving a thick smelly cloud right behind.

An aroma that tingled in everyone's noses

Took over the air. It did not smell like roses. 

With one giant fart he successfully landed, 

And he didn't come all this way empty-handed.

A bag full of cans he was lugging along.

He walked up to our house and I heard a "ding-dong." 

I scrambled to answer the door, and he said

"Sorry I don't use the chimney instead."

"That's fine" I replied with my nose in my shirt,

And I hoped that Butfartman would not be too hurt.

But without hesitation, he came in the door

And he ate up the food that we left him before.

He was dressed all in yellow, his neck to his knees, 

A stripe down each side, he was likened to bees,

With a sleeve on each leg and a neck hole between

(And we know what that's for, if you know what I mean).

He waddled around with his inter-thigh pocket

That held his own fuel when he flew like a rocket.

He beeped and he booped as he finished the crumbs

And licked the last pickle juice drops from his thumbs.

His full belly rumbled and up from beneath,

The fumes, they encircled his butt like a wreath. 

I opened the windows and got the fan blowing. 

I said it was hot even though it was snowing.

He got out his bag and began to unpack

Fifteen cans of beans that he put in a stack

That looked like a tree with its pyramid theme, 

And on top of it all, a big tub of sour cream.

I thought of burritos and chilies and dips

And nachos and soups. I was licking my lips. 

"Happy Fartmas" he said in a New England accent.

He turned so I got a fresh whiff of his back scent.

He sprang out the door and let everything loose

And a big puff of gas trailed behind his caboose

As he launched with a jump and a fart off the ground

And he flew out of sight, Butfartopia bound.

[rylandgraceofficial]

Crumbles are kinda like reaction GIFs with a way bigger vocabulary... and all you have to do to make one is type.

Just click it, trust me! @edwardspoonhands 

[valerie2776]

Good ol #p4a

[hanklerfishcomic]

Here’s my theory about what that hole is actually for: Butfartman has to fly though space to and from his home planet Butfartopia. In order to get enough propulsion, his farts are ignited. If that hole didn’t exist, his suit would catch on fire and kill him in the process. So it’s actually really important. 

Happy Fartmas! 

[matthewgaydos]

Cookie time. #p4a2015 #Fartmas #hankgreen #hant #hantgreen

[matthewgaydos]

The #Fartmas tree is up! #p4a