My Conversation with God.
These past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. Depending whether it involved work, my personal life, or my home life I'm overwhelmed by everyone; its like everyone demands a piece of me in some weird shape or form. All I want to focus on the next few months is my family and GET MY ASS OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. AHHHHHH Don't get me started on high achool. . . .
Family Lifee-
I try my very best to be acceptable in my mothers others eyes ,but I'll be lying to myself to be saying I'm "trying". I lost hope and I am...Relieved that I did. I need to accept ME, for being ME. I still do what I want when I want and it's going to be like that once I meet that "special" someone who will wisk me off my feet and all that fluffy fairytale shiet every typical suburban teen clings on ,but heyyyy if that floats your boat by all means go on and continue tending on the current. Then my family...We have to accept the fact that my Step-Dad is not coming back. It's official. My mom has gone through her 2nd divorce and this saddens me. How can no one notice the kickass smile my momma has, the witty sense of humor, the rocking yoga bod that can carry a load like a man, or her chinese fortune cookie advice that completely makes sense once you take a moment to think about it. She's a timeless beauty with alot of battle scars. I mean who doesn't have some scars? I pray that she gains the ability to fall in love again whether it's with a hobby, a passion, a good sport , GOD ,or with a man. A man who will provide for her, care for her, make her laugh, a man who can't keep his hands and EYES off of her ,because she is his gift from god. The one she and he have been waiting for all their lives. I pray for that. And I am dedicating my fast for my mom. Just cause. I fear that once I go to college and my sister finds her apartment my mom will be alone and become bitter. Yeah of course have some faith in her and all ,but I have seen her throw away all the hard work she been through in just a short amount of days. God has the ability to do ALL things ,just depends whether you take the cookie and save it when you need it for an emergency or take that bitch and spend it on some wasted prayer. She deserves more. Much more. :/
Then my "personal life"
It would be helpful if Oomf notices how much I am pushing for us and how much I would appreciate his support and consideration. - I'm like our personal cheerleader sitting on the Stadium with an obnoxious blowhorn and shiet ,but NOOOO it's all a waste cause Dumbass can't take a hint and if I may add is indecisive like a politician. HAHAHA What?! Lesbehonest. D; I'm the type of girl that if I see something I like I go after it. I may or may not get it ,but I WILL put the effort. Now I am just tired of going after the guy. I'mnot afraid of getting heart broken. And God you know that. Of course ;) ,but I'm still praying on "us". That Goofball ahaha He tries I know ,but you know me...LOL Like today he was asking questions about my job at CFA ,because I tweeted an inside joke which was " CFA only puts the most attractive ppl at front counter because that is how we get our business." Which isn't true. It just happens that alot of Christians are THAT attrative XD and he thought that I was being serious. So we were flowing and then he said something alonf the lines of " ....yeah! That was the day I visited you..." And the inner latina I have in me I responded with sass and said "No you didn't I never told you I worked at that location...CREEPER "and it dramatically slumped in his seat and was giving me his "Look" when I'm being sassy. WHAT?! It's trueee. It was just luck that he was there that day especially since we were chillin later the day... Okay maybe I am being stubborn and not admitting that he drove ALL the way to see me briefly.Guys will be guys. But at least this Guy isn't a mamas boy. THANK YA JESUS. There is days I wish we were "physical" -OF COURSE NOT LIKE THAT- ,but more like holding hands, huggs and cute pecks on the cheek ,but we're taking this SLOWWWW. Slow is good. It builds the foundation of something great and remarkable...Well for us. Jesus you know how long this convo take so I shall end it there LOL :D
BUTHEMAKESMEVERYHAPPY. Thank you. Flirtationships are good <3
That is all tbh....Well there is much more ,but idk if my followers want to read a LONG post of my life. I aint that interesting anyways LOL