Can you write headcanons for a master telling telling the royal servants aka shi, ozy, the gil's ect "what do you bring to the table other than being wealthy? I'm not a gold digger I don't want a sugar daddy (though to be honest the royal servants would be ok with a sugar daddy situation) it takes more than that for me to date you"
I winced at the lack of irony or self-awareness in this, Anon. Cringe culture may be over, but me cringing is apparently not. Bless your heart for reminding me that there’s still humor beating in my frigid little chasm of a chest.
While I think many of them would be fine with a sugary relationship (based on my experience and knowledge with both sides of such a relationship), the way this is framed is simply beyond my comprehension.
This fill was available July 8th on Patreon.
Named
Shi Huang Di: “Oh? We must say, we are a bit shocked. Were you and I to take such a step, would it not affect our Master-Servant relationship? Do you wish us to get serious? Shall we bestow upon you our glory?”
Ozymandias: “You have misunderstood the nature of our relationship, Master. Prostrate yourself until I deem sufficient. Then, maybe, I’ll allow you to prove yourself worthy of my forgiveness.”
Gilgamesh (Archer): “Fuahahaha! Ahahahaha! Excuse yourself before making such absurd demands. Ahaha. Ridiculous. Spoken at your own expense. You’re even dumber than I thought!”
Gilgamesh (Caster): “If you are incapable of assessing a treasure’s value, you are not worthy of holding it. For all you are and wish, Master, you are not the treasure in our Master-Servant contract.”
Bonus
Arthur Pendragon: “I…beg your pardon?” (He is confused.)
Artoria Pendragon: “I also beg your pardon?” (She is also confused.)
Columbus: “Oh, Master… You’re too sweet to offer whatever-the-hell this new sugar-labor-contract is to me, but I don’t think I’ve heard of it. Let’s talk about this dream of yours over a drink, shall we?”
Ishtar (Archer): “A ‘sugar baby?’ Apologize for suggesting that’s even possible! My wealth is more than an abundance of gemstones and good harvests, you know. It’s you who is lucky to serve me, not the other way around, Master.”
Ishtar (Rider): “Huh?! Have you seen me? If anything, you should be paying me to hang out with you. I’m a luxury few can afford~”
Jason: “Uwah?! The wealth I’ve gathered is but one of my countless redeeming qualities! …Oh, never mind. I lead a rather hopeless life. It’s my willingness to push forward against insurmountable odds that made me a leader and a hero. That should be enough in pursuits of the heart.”
Oberon (Stage 3): “Is your audaciousness meant to impress me? Should I spare words for the absurdity of it? …Go on, then. Pester me again and again. We’ll see if your wishes could ever come to light.”
Queen of Sheba: “Who do you think I am? You’re my patron first, and a product I’m going to sell someday in the distant future second. There’ll be riches beyond any a sugar cube can imagine. Sorry, I’m not interested in profit-sharing. ☆”
Semiramis: “Mm? Have I misheard you? I cannot imagine the obedient little Master I’ve acquainted myself with suggesting such heinous and disrespectful things. Did you mean this message for another?”
